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ATMAKAMI......ability or disorder?

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اردو فن کلب کے پریمیم ممبرز کے لیئے ایک لاجواب تصاویری کہانی ۔۔۔۔۔ایک ہینڈسم اور خوبصورت لڑکے کی کہانی۔۔۔۔۔جو کالج کی ہر حسین لڑکی سے اپنی  ہوس  کے لیئے دوستی کرنے میں ماہر تھا  ۔۔۔۔۔کالج گرلز  چاہ کر بھی اس سےنہیں بچ پاتی تھیں۔۔۔۔۔اپنی ہوس کے بعد وہ ان لڑکیوں کی سیکس سٹوری لکھتا اور کالج میں ٖفخریہ پھیلا دیتا ۔۔۔۔کیوں ؟  ۔۔۔۔۔اسی عادت کی وجہ سے سب اس سے دور بھاگتی تھیں۔۔۔۔۔ سینکڑوں صفحات پر مشتمل ڈاکٹر فیصل خان کی اب تک لکھی گئی تمام تصاویری کہانیوں میں سب سے طویل کہانی ۔۔۔۔۔کامران اور ہیڈ مسٹریس۔۔۔اردو فن کلب کے پریمیم کلب میں شامل کر دی گئی ہے۔

Chapter-1 : Hypothesis

1 year later.....

Chapter-1: Hypothesis
Update-1

Ek baar mere Physics ke professor ne mujhse pucha tha ki “Arman ,how would you relate your life with Physics ?” and I thought the most appropriate answer would be…. “mujhe kya pata , lawda”….lekin us din maine wo nahi kaha tha…us din toh maine kuch aur kaha tha jo kuch yun tha….

“life is like Physics,Sir….Life is hypothesis…I mean doing various kind of things… without assuming that is true…then verify and substantiate by our own experiments and experiences.Life is a self-evident truth to explain our views……. Observations……… towards our well known social rules and responsibility….life is like Physics,sir…simple and beautiful"
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Simple and beautiful….par main kabhi kabhi sochta hoon ki kya main sahi tha…kya sach me life simple aur beautiful hai…mujhe apni zindagi dekhkar toh aisa bilkul nahi lagta…kitni kamal ki baat hai ki jis cheez ko us din main dusaro ko follow karne ke liye kah raha tha uska exception main khud hoon….

“aaj bhi koyi nahi hai”mayoos hokar maine hostel me apne room ko gusse se band kiya aur hostel se bahar ki taraf chal diya

Waise toh main yaha kayi baar aa chuka hoon, bahut kuch chize pahle se thodi badali-badali bhi nazar aati hai lekin mere hostel ke bahar rakhi wo jung lagi kursi aaj bhi wahi rakhi thi,jaha pahle raha karti thi…jaha baithkar hum log udhar se aane-jane wale logo ko pareshan kiya karte the. us chair par baithkar maine apne jeb se cigarette nikala lekin tabhi mujhe yaad aaya ki procedure toh ye nahi hai…procedure ke mutabiq mujhe pahle goggle lagana chahiye phhir cigarette jalani chahiye…isliye maine phle goggle lagaya aur phhir cigarette jalakar gand –fad lamba kash kheecha aur tab tak wahi baitha raha jab tak Arun college se waha nahi aa gaya….

“hey, Arun”use baithne ki jagah dete hue maine kaha

“hey Varun….mera matlab, Arman…. “baithte hue wo bola”sorry, woh flow-flow me Varun ka name nikal gaya” 

“koyi mila college me”

“ghanta… pura college sunsaan hai…Esha toh door ki baat hai”bolte hue Arun ne apna sar peechhe tikaya aur aankh band karke baith gaya

“kitna acha lagta hai yaha aakar…hai na Arun…par afsos ki baat hai ki yaha aksar hum dono ke siway aur koyi nahi hota….pata nahi baki log kab aayenge”

“haan…acha toh lagta hai yaha”aankh band karke lambi saans lete hue Arun ne kaha”isiliye tune ise banaya…in sabko…ye hostel…college….sadak….mujhe”

“maine nahi banaya ye sabkuch…main toh khud yaha aksar fas jata hoon…shayad ye meri koyi bimari hai…jo bhi ho…mujhe ye bahut pasand hai. pata nahi main hamesha ke liye yaha kab rah paunga”

“Arman….main haqiqat me yaha nahi hoon aur na hee tu…tujhe college bahut pasand tha….isliye tera dimag tujhe ye sab dikha raha hai, tune mujhe apne dimag ke kisi hisse se nikala aur ab tu try mar raha hai ki Esha bhi yaha aa jaye….lekin Arman, asliyat ye nahi hai….asliyat tere 1400 gram ke dimag ke bahar hai….ab main aur Esha teri zindagi ka hissa nahi hai…tujhe apni zindagi jeeni hogi…lekin aise nahi…ye sab toh ek dhokha hai…kayaro ki tarah apne sach se door bhagna hai…teri college life khatm ho chuki hai. ab tu hostel me nahi rahta aur na hee Esha yaha hai . tujhe ye samajhna hoga….bajay iske ki tu apne andar us chiz ko dhoondh raha hai, jo teri kabhi thi hee nahi…..main hamesha yahi chahta tha ki tu, Esha…se kabhi na mile aur na hee us se baat kare…lekin tune college me kabhi meri nahi suni….lekin ab bhi waqt hai….samay ke antarjaal se nikal aur ek nayi shuruat kar…mera kya hai ,main toh jaha choot dekhta hoon wahi lund daal deta hoon, lekin main tere liye aisa nahi chahta…you deserve better….. than this double F (fucking frustrated) life…Arman ,you know… once you were the best for us…for all of us…but now you are the worst…kya tune kabhi socha hai ki kyun tere baki ke dost…jinhone har chhoti badi ladayi me tera sath diya wo ab tujhse baat bhi kyun nahi karte….aur……………… “

“aur…..?”

Jab Arun beech me bolte hue achanak ruk gaya toh maine uski taraf dekha par wo waha nahi tha..wo waha se jaa chuka tha….yahi toh problem hai is jagah ki….ki wo hamesha aise achanak gayab ho jata hai jaise sala mera dost na ho balki batman ho…..par Arun ka yun achanak gayab hona mere liye ek sanket tha….ki ab yaha mauzood har chiz buri tarah se hilegi....dharti ghumegi aur mere sar me ek tez dard uthega….aur aisa hua bhi.ek tez dard mere sar me utha…dard itna tez tha ki sala laga jaan hee chali jayegi…main jor se chillaya aur chillate hue wahi zameen par gir gaya…par ye mere liye nayi baat nahi thi ye toh pichhale kayi haftoh se mere sath ho raha tha ki achanak main kahi baithe baithe yaha pahuch jata hoon….jaha mujhe Arun milta hai….jisase main do char baate karta hoon aur jab wo achanak gayab ho jata hai toh mere aas-paas mauzood har chiz vibrate karne lagti hai yaha tak ki mera dimagh bhi……yani ki sab kuch sirf mere dimag ke kisi hisse me hota hai aur tab main apne us physics se life ko relate karne wale answer ke bare me sochta hoon jisme maine kaha tha ki …life is simple and beautiful….just like physics.
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“mujhe kya pata ,lawda…..correct answer hota.khamkha dialoguebazi me life ko simple aur beautiful bol gaya…yadi ye simple hai toh complicated kya hoga…”haqiqat me wapas aakar apna sar dabate hue maine kaha...


Ab toh Mujhe aisa lagta hai ,jaise ki main khud ko nahi janta..jaise ki maine ek jaal apne aas-paas bun rakha ho aur badalte waqt ke sath usme fasta hee ja raha hoon..waise toh kahne ko mere paas bahut kuch hai aur use sunne ka samay bhi aapke paas hai lekin mudda jo ye hai ki main iski shuruat kaha se karu…waha se shuru karu jaha se 8th semester khatm hua tha ya phhir waha se jab main ghar chhodkar Nagpur apne dost Varun ke paas aaya…ya phhir waha se jab maine Nagpur me Nisha ko pahli baar dekha…lekin ye sab toh main bata chuka hoon toh kyun na waha se shuru kiya jaye jaha se life ne meri aur maine life ki leni shuru kar di…

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College ke baad ki zindagi aasan nahi hoti aur khaskar tab nahi jab apne meri tarah jhande gade ho…college me maine zindagi ke lagbhag sabhi pahaluo ka anubhav kar liya tha…mera matlab dosti, dushmanni, pyar, dhokha,mutth marna,sex karna…ladayi karna…jail jana wo bhi murder ke case me aur phhir jail se aakar baki bache 10-12 dino me pelam pel padhayi karke 8.5 CGPA se B.Tech complete karna….koyi sochega ki ab life me isse bura kuch nahi ho sakta.lekin mujhe kya pata tha ki wo toh kuch bhi nahi tha..asal zindagi toh ab shuru hui thi…

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Kahne ko toh meri zindagi me ab bhi hariyali thi…I mean…naukari…chhokari…free wifi…ab isse adhik bhala ek Engineer ko kya chahiye ? lekin College chhodne ke baad maine ek chiz jo apne bare me guar ki thi wo ye ki main Depression me tha…main Esha ko left side se pyar karta tha iske bare me toh main janta tha…lekin main ye nahi janta tha ki uske chale jane ke baad ya mere chale jane ke baad main aisa ho jaunga….ek ajab hi gussa…ek ajeeb si kabhi na mitne wali udasi ne mujhe grasit kar diya tha,jiske karan jab kabhi bhi main Nisha ke sath hota tab bhi mere dil-o-dimag me Esha hee chhayi rahti thi aur kabhi-kabhi toh gusse se dil karta tha ki ek lohe ka sariya loon aur jakar Nisha ke sath uske pure khandan ko khatm kar doon…I mean…Esha..BC Nisha aur Esha ke chakkar me main jitna confuse hua hoon utna toh main Centroid aur Center of Gravity , term me bhi nahi hua tha…

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Par problem ye nahi thi…problem ye thi ki main in sabke bare me subah 4 baje uthkar kyu soch raha hoon aur main problem ye thi ki yadi main abhi utha hoon toh phhir is waqt mujhe apne flat me hona chahiye…jo ki main nahi tha….main toh is waqt apne colony ke park me deewar se koodkar uske andar ghas par baitha daru pee raha tha…Thug Life !  lekin main in sabke bare me kyun bata raha hoon toh jawab hai…jaisa ki maine pahle hi kaha hai ki waise toh kahne ko mere paas bahut kuch hai aur aapke paas use sunne ka samay bhi hai…so let’s start it.


UPDATE-2

“you know…I just hate everyone…everyone…fucking everyone…I hate Varun…Nisha…her father…her mother….her security guard….her lesbo partner Sonam(who’s also Varun’s girlfriend)…I hate every man and woman……yes ! I hate the whole mannkind…I’m the guy who’s fucking frustrated…You know my friend, there is a special word in dictionary for me, who hates mannkind…I don’t know it now but I’ll tell you later or you can see it for yourself”kahte hue maine mere bagal me baithe apne naye dost ki aankho me dekha 
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Jaise main use dekh raha tha waisich same toh same wo bhi meri aankho me dekh raha tha aur main samajh gaya ki lawda use kya chahiye… main samajh gaya ki use meri in baton me koyi dilchaspi nahi hai, wo toh lawda yaha subah ke 4 baje uthkar isliye aaya hai kyuki use free ka chakna jo khane ko milta hai….

“meet my new friend…Bisleri….” 

jo ki humare colony me ghumne wala ek awara kutta hai aur isse meri pahchan kal raat isi park me hui thi….kal raat bole toh kal subah matlab kal subah 4 baje ke karib...maine chips ke packet me se kuch chips apne muh me dala aur kuch Bisleri ke muh me aur phhir pura peg ek saans me andar le liya……
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“hat MC…pani kam ho gaya”kahte hue main ek bar phhir Bisleri ki taraf dekha…wo meri taraf hi dekh raha tha.jiske baad maine packet me bacha baki chips bhi uske samne udel diya aur daru ki bottle uske muh me fasate hue bola “daru ki botal sambhal kar rakhna be ,nahi toh chodunga….ye botal tere liye mere pyar ki nishani hai…”
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Nisha ke mere zindagi me aane ke kuch samay baad mujhe laga tha ki jaise ab sab kuch thik ho gaya hai aur wakayi me aisa hua bhi tha…kyuki mere dimag me ab kabhi bhi tez dard nahi hota tha aur na hee mere mare hue dost ke mujhe sapne aate the…yaha tak ki Aradhna se bhi lagbhag-lagbhag pichha chhoot gaya tha. Lekin aajkal Nisha mujhe kuch khas bha nahi rahi thi…lekin iska matlab ye nahi hai ki wo ab mujhe khoobsurat…hot ya sexy nahi lagti…uske liye meri feelings same hai lekin aajkal main us-se chidhne laga hoon….pata nahi kyun ? aur aisa mere sath ek baar pahle bhi hua tha…aisich same feeling mere andar Aradhna ke liye bhi aayi thi jiske baad maine suddenly us-se breakup kiya tha aur usne zindagi se…
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“Arman, tum…itni subah…”ek ladki ne mera name lete hue kaha

“haan…waise aap kaun…aur itni subah se kya matlab hai tumhara…ab toh dopahar hone ko aa gayi hai ”

“main Nisha ki friend…itni jaldi bhool gaye…kal raat ko hum sab movie dekhne gaye the…”mayoos hote hue wo boli aur isi ke sath uske sath me khadi uski saheli bhi mayoos ho gayi…
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“haan…yaad aaya Shipra…waise kaun si Shipra ho tum…Kshipra wali ya simple Shipra….”

“simple Shipra…”haste hue usne jawab diya

“tumhe kaise bhool sakta hoon main…tu hee hai na wo jo kal raat me 500  ka sirf popcorn kha gayi thi…sach bata ghar me khana-vana nahi milta kya …ya ye teri aadat hee hai ki dusaro ke paiso pe aish karna…apne boyfriend ko toh gatak gayi hogi tu ab tak…mera kahne ka matlab hai ki kuch toh sharam lihaj kiya kar…ab apni saheli ko hee dekh le kab se line mare ja rahi hai mujhe…mana ki bahut smart ,handsome…intelligent hoon main lekin iska matlab ye toh nahi ki jis thali me khaya usi ko chura loge…chottiyo…ruk abhi Nisha ko call karke batata hoon ki tum dono ne mujhe propose mara hai….arey bhag kaha rahi hai ruk…..”
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“aajkal ki ladkiya bhi na ,hath pakdao toh lund pakad leti hai…i…i..just hate everyone…waise time kya hua hai…Suraj uncle toh kab ka dastak de chuke hai…”kahte hue maine apni ghadi me time dekha “oh teri ! 8 baj gaye…aur apun ab tak ghum rela hai…”

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Apne room par main subah 9 baje pahucha aur pahuchte hee Varun se pucha ki uska sabse jhakkas formal dress kaha hai lekin Varun ko bhi mujhse kuch puchna tha isliye usne mere sawal pe sawal daga aur bola…

“tu tha kaha be raat bhar….”

“aa raat bhar…aa raat bhar…jaye na ghar….jaye na ghar”jawab me main chair par baitha aur mobile nikalte hue gungunane laga

“BC, 4 missed calls…ye Nisha puri yedi ho gayi hai….janti hai ki main us type ka launda nahi hoon,jo raat bhar apni item se baat kare…lekin phhir bhi har din…I mean..har raat ko pachaso bar phone karegi…lavda main seedha sadha aadmi hoon jiski sirf seedhi sadhi demand hai…thoda sa pyar aur bahut sara sex…lekin nahi inko toh dono chiz hee pel ke chahiye…ab kaha se laun itna pyar jab mere andar hai hee nahi,toh…aur beta Varun…ye Nisha ki friend jo Sonam hai na jiske sath tera chakkar chal raha hai us-se thoda bach ke rahiyo…mujhe toh shakal se hee ek number ki chudail-dayan lagti hai…zara sambhal kar rahna kahi teri bali na de de….”

“kya be Arman ,kuch bhi bole ja raha hai tu Nisha aur Sonam ke bare me…dono kitni achi ladkiya hai…tu zaroor daru peekar aaya hai…warna tu aisa nahi bolta”apni aankhe badi karte hue Varun ne mujhe chup hone ka ishara kiya lekin maine apni baat continue ki…

“dekh bhai ,aisa hai …mujhe sach bolne ke liye daru ki zaroorat nahi…waise Sonam se yaad aaya…sale kal raat bhar tere karan main bahar raha…tune toh bade aram se raat ke 10 baje call karke kah diya ki Arman ek ghante ke liye room se chale ja…Sonam ke sath fukam-fakayi karni hai….”
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“toh phhir ek ghante baad aa jana chahiye tha na...aur thoda dheere bol”


“lawda aa jana chahiye tha…ab main thahra sanyasi aadmi jaha do botal daru, do packet chakna aur do cigarette ke sath do kadam zameen mili…bas wahi apni duniya…khair tu bata choda ki nahi….”

Main aur bhi bahut kuch Varun se puchta…aur bhi bahut kuch Varun ko apne adventurous last night ke bare me batata…lekin tabhich ek jordar aawaz mere kano me padi…jise sunke meri to fati hee…par Varun ki to fat ke hath me aa gayi…wo aawaz jisne hum dono ki fad di thi wo aawaz Sonam ki girlfriend Varun….mera matlab Varun ki girlfriend Sonam ki aawaz thi…

“are you guys fucking kidding me….”

“no…but According to Shri Arman’s law… the total anger emitted per unit time by Sonam is directly proportional to the fourth power of our fear….”calculation karte hue main sirf itna hee bol paya…

“Varun…tumhe to main baad me siddha karti hoon…lekin Arman tumne abhi jo kuch bhi mere aur Nisha ke bare me kaha hai…wo main ek-ek shabd jakar Nisha ko batane wali hoon…asshole”itna kahkar Sonam to waha se khisak li lekin hum dono bhari tension me aa gaye….tension kya,mujhe to aisa laga jaise kisi ne meri lulli hee kat li ho…

“Varun…that’s why, I hate everyone….aakhir freedom of speech bhi koyi chiz hai ki nahi is desh me….aakhir log sanvidhan ka palan kyun nahi karte  ”
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Maine Nisha aur Sonam ke bare me jo uche vichar thodi der pahle vyakt kiye the us-se jyada tension mujhe honi chahiye thi aur Varun ko shanti se baith kar shantipath karna chahiye tha…lekin aisa bilkul nahi ho raha tha…Varun tension me pure flat me ghoom raha tha aur idhar main aaram se baith kar aaram kar raha tha….

“Goldflake Lite is better…”cigarette ke dhue ka chhalla banate hue maine kaha “abey try to mar”

“Arman…what the….”kheej kar Varun bolte-bolte ruk gaya..

“what the hell or what the fuck ? anyway, what does that ASSHOLE term even mean….Gand ka ched…? ye kaisi gali hai be…”

“tu kabhi kabhi bahut over ho jata hai be Arman…ab phhir se Sonam ko manane me kayi din lag jayenge…”

“dekh bidu…wo sab apun dekh lega…lekin abhi mujhe interview ke liye jana hai, isliye ye sab baate baad me…”

“interview..”shocked hote hue Varun ne puchha “kaha…”

“Machine ke parts design karne wali ek company hai ,wahi maine resume dala tha…”bachi kuchi cigarette ko ungali me fasakar dustbin me nishana sadhte hue main bola “aur unhone resume accept kar liya… goal…”

“congrats…toh finally tu serious hone laga hai…par dekhna kahi pichhali wali company ki tarah ye bhi tujhe bahar na fek de…be careful”

“hmm…uh”

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Interview dene main full taiyar hokar aur full taiyari ke sath gaya tha, actually mujhe lagbhag wo sabhi question pahle se hee maloom the jo wo waha puchhane wale the ,jiske liye jawab bhi maine soch rakha tha….Interview dene main time se decided venue me pahucha lekin mujhe waha kafi samay tak baitha kar rakha gaya…maine ek do baar waha baithi receptionist se puchha bhi ki ‘aur kitna time lagega’..jispar wo pahli baar to kuch nahi boli lekin mere ek aur baar puchhane par wo thoda muh banate hue boli ki
“yadi itni hee jaldi hai toh kahi aur chale jao”

Jispar maine kuch nahi kaha aur chupchap aakar jaha baithkar usne mujhe wait karne ke liye kaha tha,wahi baith kar wait karne laga….main kafi der tak waha baitha raha taqriban do ghante…nahi dhayi ghante…actually teen ghante…confirm, dhayi ghante….jiska reason ye tha ki jise mera interview lena tha wo aaya hee nahi tha……

“oh mister, mobile baad me chalana….andar jao interview ke liye…”dhayi ghante baad usi Receptionist ne mujhe aawaz dekar kaha

“BC , kitna akad rahi hai…naukari ka sawal hai, nahi to ek mukka marta to ek mahine tak dard me rahti….koyi kadra hee nahi hai, tu rook….naukari lagne de….phhir tujhe sudharunga….”Receptionist ko dekhkar main badbadaya aur sath me use thank you bhi bola….
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“I just hate everyone…”interview dene ke baad main jaise hee bahar nikla waise hee mere muh se ye line apne aap nikli…lekin kyun ? interviewer to achche the , mera interview bhi achcha gaya tha…late hone par unhone mujhe cold drink , tea , coffee ka bhi offer diya tha….phhir maine aisa kyun bola ? yes …I got it…I hate the whole mankind.
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“hello,Arman…”

“nahi ,main Arman ka papa bol raha hoon, aap kaun beta…”aawaz badalkar main bola…

“Good evening uncle, Main…Main Nisha…”thoda hichkichate hue Nisha boli…shayad wo bhi thoda soch me pad gayi thi ke mere papa kaha se Nagpur aa gaye…

“acha to tum wahi Nisha ho…jo maal dikhti aur jiske boobs…ahhhh….wait,I’m cumming….”mere itna bolte hee Nisha ne phone kat diya lekin uske turant baad usne mujhe dobara call bhi kiya….

“Arman…church ke paas wale park me abhi milo…”

“mera intezar karna….I’m cumming”kahte hue maine mobile ektaraf feka aur wapas Varun ka formal dress pahan-ne laga…jo ki room me aakar maine utar diya tha…room ke gate se maine park tak ka trajectory set kiya aur khud ko apne room se launch kar diya…lekin main park me land karta uske pahle hee mujhe yaad aaya ki main condom toh room me hee bhool gaya hoon…isliye main trajectory ko reverse mode me dalkar…wapas room par pahucha aur condoms ka packet uthaya kya pata kab zaroorat pad jaye…condoms ki…

“Arman…logo ki kadra karna sikh ja…khas kar ke unki jo teri karte hai…mera matlab hai ki tujhe kya zaroorat hai Nisha se aise baat karne ki…use dekh kitni rich hai..kitni pretty hai…lekin maine is baat ka zara sa bhi ghamannd uske andar nahi dekha….i’m sorry lekin yadi wo chahe to tere jaise kayiyo ko har din badal sakti hai…”condom ka packet lekar main nikal raha tha ki Varun ne mujhe tokte hue kaha

“one correcton please….mere jaise kayiyo ko nahi…main antique piece hoon…”Varun ki taraf palatkar main bola”aur sale din ba din mota hota ja raha hai tu…tu uski fikar kar…meri fikar mere pe chhod de…happy”

“tu pahle aisa nahi tha…mana ki tere sath kuch bura hua hai ,kuch bure log tujhe mile hai…lekin doodh ka dhula toh tu bhi nahi hai…galti to teri bhi thi…par iska matlab ye to nahi ki tu aane wale achche logo aur unki achchhayio ki kadra hee na kare…”

“ toh yadi aapka ye lecture samapt ho gaya ho to main prasthan karu…kyunki tere anusar jiski mujhe kadra karni chahiye wo park me baithi mera intezar kar rahi hai aur yadi Shri Varun ki izazat ho to main uski kadra karne jaun….”

“gand marao lawda, mujhe kya…”

“exactly….”kahte hue maine goggle lagaya aur cigarette muh me ek side dabakar ek selfie li aur room se wapas park tak ka trajectory set karke khud ko launch kiya
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“bahut jaldi nahi aa gaye”park me mere land karte hee hee Nisha taana marte hue boli aur maine do ungali apne hontho par rakhkar ishara kiya ki main cigarette pee raha tha….

“aaj tumne meri friend Shipra ko kya bola”mudde pe aate hue Nisha ne pucha..

“chal pahle thoda udhar khisak…phhir batata hoon..air friction bahut jyada tha…Kurkure sir..mera matlab Kurre sir sahi kahe the ki..aap physics ke khilaf nahi ja sakte”

“kyun idhar baithne me kya problem hai…”

“problem to mujhe teri god me bhi baithne se nahi hai..lekin iska matlab ye to nahi ki main tere god me hee baith jaun…Got it…ab chal khisak…khisak na…hadd hai…tujhe kya lagta hai ki main us side baithkar badminton khelne wali un ladkiyo ko line marunga…”

“to thik hai ,mat khisak…mujhe kya, main kal aake line mar jaunga…”

“aaj tumne meri friend Shipra ko kya bola”wapas mudde pe aate hue Nisha ne pucha..

“kaun Shipra…acha wo…..Varun ki item…ya wo item jiske paas koyi item hee nahi hai”

“ye item-item kya laga rakha hai…Arman…aisi cheap language ka istemal tum kyun karte ho, ye jante hue bhi ki mujhe aisi language pasand nahi aur jab wo meri friend ho tab to bilkul bhi hai…humari society me iske liye ek special word hai...Girlfriend….tum Shipra ko wo to kah hee sakte ho…maine kya tumhare kisi dost ko kabhi kameena…kutta kaha…nahi na…phhir tum mere friends ke liye aise words kyun istemal karte ho…aur waise bhi Shipra , Varun ki item nahi….”bolte-bolte Nisha achanak ruk gayi , kyunki josh-josh me uske muh se bhi item shabd nikal gaya tha aur main rakshasi hasi ke sath daant fadne laga

“ha…ha….ha….”

 

Chapter-2 : Tempus Itinerantur

“mera matlab tha ki Shipra,Varun ki girlfriend nahi hai…Varun ki girlfriend to Sonam hai…Shipra to wo hai jo aaj subah tumhe mili thi aur tumne use kaha tha ki wo 500  ka popcorn kha gayi thi, iske baad tumne uske sath badtameezi bhi ki aur bola ki wo tumhe line de rahi hai…vagerah-vagerah….”

“vagerah-vagerah…matlab etc. etc.”

“haan”

“wahi na jo hum answer likhte samay use karte hai…”

“haan  ”

“waise sach batau…actually I don’t remember her…mujhe lag toh raha hai ki koyi mujhse mila tha..lekin kaun ye mujhe thik se yaad nahi hai”

“really…”

“teri kasam…”

Aur phhir mere itna bolte hee Nisha ne apna chehra dusari taraf kar liya aur bahut der tak chup baithi kuch sochati rahi…

“aur Sonam se tumne kya kaha…ki…main pagal hoon , jo tumhe raat-raat bhar phone karte rahti hoon…tumne Sonam se kaha ki main yedi hoon…ye yedi kya hota hai…”

“yedi matlab…matlab…innocent…intelligent aur Sonam se maine aisa kuch bhi nahi kaha…phhir se teri kasam…”

“tumne mujhe pagal samajh rakha hai kya…”apne hath me rakha mobile gusse se door fekte hue Nisha boli “tumne mujhe samajh kya rakha hai ,jo har baar meri jhoothi kasam kha rahe ho…tumhe kya lagta hai ki…ki main bewkoof hoon…jise tum kuch bhi bologe aur main maan jaungi…”

“teri kasam…sorry..abki baar meri kasam …yadi dekha jaye toh technically,maine Sonam se kuch nahi bola….wo toh maine apne dost Varun se bola tha…jise phhir Sonam ne sun liya tha…ab bol jhootha kaun…”

“par tumne to mere bare me aakhir wo sab kaha na….”

“actually wo ek prank tha…jo main aur Varun milkar Sonam ke sath kar rahe the..prank matlab ,hum ek funny video bana rahe the…jisme hum Sonam ka reaction record kar rahe the….”Nisha ke mobile ko uthakar maine use dete hue kaha “ab ye mat kahna ki tu mujhse yaha sirf isliye milne aayi thi kyunki tujhe Sonam ne mere bare me kuch kaha tha…”

“sach kahu to haan…main yaha sirf isiliye tumse milne aayi thi…teri kasam…”

“tumne just abhi abhi mera dil tod diya…”

“toh…”

“toh…jab tumne sach kaha hai to main bhi sach bol hee deta hoon…wo prank nahi tha…wo sabkuch jo Sonam ne tumse kaha uski ek-ek line …ek-ek shabd yaha tak ki ek-ek matra sach thi…main tujhse aur tere phone calls se trast ho gaya hoon…aur ek baat, Shri Arman ko tujh jaisi ladki nahi samajh sakti…tum logo ka level hee nahi hai mere sath rahne ka…tum log bas gaal aur hoth pichka-kar selfie lo….i..i… I just hate everyone…I hate Bhipra…sorry Shipra…I hate Sonam…I hate your parents….i hate you….tum log please kahi chale jao…please…chale jao…kahi bhi…Delhi…Mumbai…Chennai…uganda…”

“okay…Arman…Goodbye…”itna bolkar Nisha uthi aur waha se jane lagi….

“just getlost…mujhe kisi ki zaroorat nahi hai…main akele hee ye story hit kara sakta hoon”apna sar dono hatho se dabate hue main bola“MC ye sar kyun itna dukh raha hai…”

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Aur phhir mujhe kuch aawaze sunayi dene lagi,jo waha aas-paas ki bilkul nahi thi…mere hath-pair achanak se sunn hone lage aur dhundhale se kuch chitra ya phhir kahe ki drishya mere samne aane lage…meri aankh puri tarah khuli nahi thi aur na hee puri tarah band thi…lekin phhir bhi mujhe samne park ka kuch bhi dikhai nahi de raha tha…jaise ki kisi ne achanak hee park ko gayab kar diya ho…pahle pahal to mujhe laga ki ye ek sapna hai lekin phhir mujhe ye ahsaas hua ki ye koyi sapna nahi balki ek haqiqat hai…jiska andaza mujhe tab laga jab maine us drishya me apne bade bhai ko dekha…par wo drishya ek sapna nahi balki haqiqat hai iska andaza mujhe tab hua jab maine khud ko us drishya ke andar dekha…par ye kaise mumkin hai ? main to yaha sabke samne park me baitha hoon phhir main waha kaise ho sakta hoon…main janta hoon ki main greatest hoon lekin ek sath do jagah par hona…ye mere liye possible nahi hai…darasal ye drishya jo mere sar me uthe dard ke karan dikhayi de raha hai wo mere past ki kuch haqiqat hai jinhe maine shayad hee kisi ko bataya ho…shayad bole to 100 % confirm….that’s Arman’s language

.
Meri, mere bhai ke sath kabhi bhi nahi jami..na hee bachpan me aur na hee ab…hum aksar kayi chizo ke liye ladte the…par phhir aap sochenge ki isme kaun si nayi baat hai,lawda…… ye to har kahani ka ghar hai, I mean…ye toh har ghar ki kahani hai…lekin nahi ye har ghar ki kahani nahi hai ye thoda alag aur thoda dangerous hai…thoda se mera matlab hai…bahut jyada.you know ….its apun’s language.

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“Arman jita de bhai yar,izzat ka sawal hai…”

“izzat…? iski parwah mere dosto ke samne mujhe marne se pahle karna chahiye tha…”

“dekh 200  ka match hai…main tujhe 500 dunga…”

“khoon ke badle khoon aur bezzati ke badle bezzati…”kahte hue main aage badha aur puri taqat ke sath cover ki disha me bat ghuma diya aur phhir peeche palat kar apne bhai ko angootha dikhaya….waise ch aur dikhane ka tha par Bhai tha isliye sirf angootha hee dikhaya


Shot khelne ke baad maine yahi socha tha ki ball ab boundary par jakar hee dum legi lekin ball ek ped se takrayi aur wahi rook gayi,tab non-striker end me khade mere dost ne mujhe aawaz di aur humne bhagkar jaldi se 2 runs le liye….aur itne hee run hume jeetne ke liye chahiye the….match jeetne ke baad maine ek baar phhir Vipin bhaiya ko angootha dikhaya aur wo sirf apna daant piskar rah gaye,unka bas chalta toh wo mujhe wahi patak-patak kar marte…lekin us samay unki girlfriend apni kuch saheliyo ke sath waha thi aur kuch dusare log bhi the ,jo waha match dekh rahe the…jiske karan Vipin bhaiya ne apna gussa apne andar hee daba liya…

Waha match dekhne walo ke liye ye sirf ek team ke player dwara opponent team ke player ko tease karna tha ,lekin hum dono ke liye ye kuch jyada tha…jaha India me cricket har dharm ke logo ko jodta hai wahi cricket ne hum dono bhaiyo me darar dalni shuru kar di thi…

Meri ek aadat hamesha se thi ki jab main kisi ka Mazak udata hoon to marte dum tak uska Mazak udata hoon…toh phhir isme main apne bhai ko kaise chhod sakta tha…jaha Vipin bhaiya ke andar match harne ka gussa tha wahi ghar par mere indirectly comments ne unka gussa aur badha diya….

“Maa…humare school ka ek senior hai..pata nahi khud ko kya samajhta hai…kal usne mere dosto ke samne meri utari aur aaj maine…bada aaya tha,role jamanne…Maa ,pata hai.. kaise match ke aakhiri kshado me wo aaj mere samne gidgida raha tha…”bolte hue main ruka aur Vipin bhaiya ki aawaz behude tarike se nikalte hue bola “Arman,match jeeta de bhai yar, izzat ka sawal hai…dekh match 200  ka hai main tujhe 500  dunga…please bhai …maan ja yar…”

“Arman…ab bas kar, bahut pareshan kar liya tune Vipin ko…”Kitchen se Maa boli
Lekin main kaha rukne wala tha…maine Vipin bhaiya ki khilli udani jari rakhi….

“mom…pata hai..aaj match dekhne kaun aaya tha….”

“Arman ,yadi tune Aksha ka naam bhi liya toh soch lena…patak-patak ke marunga….”dheemi aawaz me Vipin bhai saab bole 

“ab pata chala kaisa lagta hai…jaleel hona…remember , bezzati ke badle bezzati…”maine bhi dheemi aawaz me kaha

“ab yadi tune ek aur shabd bola toh….ye taala jo chair par rakha hai…seedhe fek ke marunga…”kahte hue Vipin bhaiya ne chair par rakha taala utha liya….

Par mujhe pata tha ki Vipin bhaiya kabhi bhi wo taala mujhpar nahi fekenge …mujhe kya,waha meri jagah aur bhi koyi hota toh wo wahi sochta…isliye maine apna karyakram jaari rakha aur Maa se kaha…

“Maa, jo aaj ke match ka special guest tha…uska naam Aks ….”

Pahle toh mujhe samajh nahi aaya ki kya hua , main aise kaise Aksha ka naam lete hue rook gaya…lekin jab mere mathe se khoon tapak kar neeche aaya toh mujhe pata chala ki Vipin bhaiya ke hath me jo taala tha….wo seedhe aakar mere sar me laga tha….main is waqt jitney gusse me tha us-se jyada kahi hairan tha ki Vipin bhaiya ne aakhir ye kar kaise diya…

“chup ho ja…Arman , warna…sale, patak-patak ke marunga….”

“ab toh seedhe jakar…Aksha ke baap ko bataunga,phhir dekhna kaise uska baap uske andar se ishq ka bhoot utarta hain….”

“sale tameej nahi hai kya…baat karne ki…”mere paas aakar Vipin bhaiya ne ek mukka aur mere mathe pe jad diya aur dusara mukka uthane hee wale the ki maine unhe peeche dhakel diya....jisase unka pair wahi paas rakhi table se ladkhadaya aur wo apna balance khokar seedhe sar ke bal zameen pe ja gire…
Maine bahut tej dhakka diya tha..jiske karan Vipin bhaiya bahut teji ke sath gire the…physics ki language me bole toh impact kafi jyada tha…isliye Vipin bhaiya jaise hee zameen par gire unke sar ke pichhale hisse se khoon nikalne laga yani ki unka bhi sar phoot gaya tha….Vipin bhaiya ke sar se khoon nikalta dekh maine aav na dekha taav…aur ghar se bahar bhag gaya…..

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“Arman…uth…itni raat ko park me kya kar raha hai …”mujhe hilate hue Varun bola

“Varun tu…”

“haan…chal room chal…”

“ghar nahi jaunga main…Vipin bhaiya se meri ladayi ho gayi hai…maine unka sar fod diya hai….ab ghar jaunga to mammi-papa bahut marenge….”Varun ki taraf dekhkar maine jawab diya…jiske baad Varun kuch der tak mujhe ektak aise dekhta raha….jaise maine use hath me apna lund thama diya ho…I mean.. full shoked

“Arman , ya toh tu pagal ho gaya hai ya tu mujhe pagal bana raha hai…abey tu yaha hai…Nagpur me…bhool gaya kya ki tu ek saal pahle ghar chhodkar yaha aaya tha mere paas….”mujhe pakad kar uthate hue Varun ne kaha “tu chal…room .daru piyega toh sab kuch yaad aa jayega…”

“tune mujhe dhoondha kaise…”

“tera number off aa raha tha toh Nisha ko call kiya tha maine…usi ne bataya ki tu yaha hai…le us-se baat kar le…pareshan hai bahut…”Nisha ko call lagakar mobile mere hath me dekar Varun bola

“kaun Nisha…”

Jiske baad ek baar phhir Varun mujhe aise dekhne laga jaise maine apna lund uske hath me de diya ho…yani ki full hairan…pareshan…aur abki baar Varun ko meri taraf aise dekh main samajh gaya ki…main hee kuch gadbad kar raha hoon…warna Varun mujhe aise gusse se nahi dekhta…maine apnai aankhe band ki aur jor se apna sar hilaya….

“Nisha…..Nisha…Ni+Sha….Ni= Nickel…S= Sulphur…acha Nisha…Desai ji ki laundi…abey use kyun call karwa raha hai…thodi der pahle tu yaha rahta toh dekhta kaise bhav kha rahi thi…goodbye bolkar gayi mere ko…ek baat bolu Varun…mujhe lagta hai ki wo na koyi kala jadu karti hai…dekhta nahi kaise ajeeb bartaav karne laga hoon main aajkal…tu naa…us-se baat-vaat mat kiya kar….”kahte hue maine call disconnect kar di…. “acha ye bata…mera mail check kiya kya…interview ka result aa gaya hoga…”

.
Maine park se room tak ka trajectory set kiya lekin phhir laga ki Varun udte waqt air friction nahi jhel payega…isliye maine trajectory cancel ki aur aisich paidal hee room ki taraf chalne laga…room jate waqt sadak par mujhe Bisleri dikhayi diya,jo ki apne kuch dosto ke sath race laga raha tha….Bisleri ko samne se apni taraf daudta dekh main ekdum se uske samne aa gaya aur use rok liya…

“kyun be lawde…kaha ghoom raha hai…in awara kutto ke sath…”Bisleri ka kaan pakad kar main bola…jiske jawab me Bisleri ku-ku karke kikiyane laga…wo kabhi apni jeebh nikal kar apna muh chat-ta toh kabhi apni pooch hilate hue kikiyata …jisase main samajh gaya ki lawda use meri baton me koyi dilchaspi nahi hai…use toh bas chakna chahiye….

“sale kutte tak matlabi hai…that’s why I hate everyone…”Bisleri ka kaan pakad kar ghumate hue bola “Varun yadi tu bole toh…”

“nahi…”beech me hee meri baat katkar Varun ne kaha

“sun toh le…”

“bilkul nahi…tu chahta hai ki main is kutte ko apne sath lekar chalu…apne room me rahne du…toh mera jawab hai nahi…bilkul nahi…”

“ek aur baar soch kar dekh…”

“bola na nahi…BC kitna ganda hai ye…muh dekh lagta hai abhi-abhi kisi nali me muh marker aaya hai…aur tu thoda door rah is-se…iske daant kitne bade-bade hai…kaat lega tujhe…”

“ye mujhe nahi kaatega…”

“kyun”

“aakhir isne mera daru piya hai………..aur chakna bhi…”

“dekh Arman…tujhe chalna hai toh chal…ise toh main apne sath nahi le jane wala…”

“khali laundiyo par pyar dikhao tum log…chhote log  chal Bisleri…tu nikal ab…4 baje milte hai park me…”

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Bisleri se vida lekar main room pahucha aur room jaate hee sabse pahle mootne gaya….
“maja aa gaya baincho…bahut der se lagi thi…”bathroom se bahar aate hue main khud se bola aur apna mail check kiya….

“tumhari maa ka 9.8, isiliye main kahi aaply nahi karta…”
 

Chapter-3 : The Mysterious Dream


“kya hua Arman…. ”

“maine abhi just apna mail check kiya….”

“oh…ab samjha….reject kar diya, it happens bro”

“reject…reject nahi kiya be…reject…abey pagal hai kya…reject kyun karenge….accept kar liya mujhe…”

“toh phhir kyun itna chilla raha hai..”

“lawda kal ki joining date de ke rakhi hai…khamkha Nagpur ka address dal diya…kahi aur ka dalta toh ek week ka aaram toh dete…”

“arey wo sab chhod na…tujhe toh khush hona chahiye….yaaaaaaa…..party”

“ye sale….chhote log”Varun ki taraf hath dikhate hue maine kaha…
.

Job ka pahla din…aur logo ki ray li jaye toh wo kahenge ki time pe jana…formal dress pahan kar jana…shoes ache se polish hona chahiye…office me apna chehra khushal rakhna aur sabse ache se baat karna…khaskar ke ladies se….yadi aap salah lene jaoge…chahe online ya offline…toh bahut se salah milenge...kuch toh ye bhi kahenge ki naha kar jana…BC ye bhi koyi salah hai….ki naha kar jaana….par mujhe salah nahi sahyog chahiye…aur yakin mano toh mujhe aise hee laparjhandis pasand hai…main jis company me kaam karne ja raha tha uska name kafi lamba chauda tha…Sharda Machine Tools & Parts Design Limited 

Par phhir maine socha ki kaun baar-baar itna lamba naam lega toh maine company ka name Sharda Vihar rakh diya…Sharda Vihar isliye kyunki mere school ka yahich name tha…

“congrats Arman ,tune toh bahut lamba teer mar diya…par tu ab tak taiyar nahi hua…”Varun ne mujhse pucha…

“itni fikar hai toh tu chala ja meri jagah…”kahte hue maine apna mobile uthaya aur apna mood normal karne ke liye video dekhne laga…

“pahle din hee late Jakar galat impression dalega apne boss par…”

“bhad me gaya boss…sala takla…”

“tujhe kaise pata ki tera boss takla hai…”

“guess kiya..aur lavde ab tu chup rahe toh ekat gana sun loon…”

“main ja raha hoon…jate samay room lock karke jana…kal ki tarah khula mat chhod jana…”

“get out…”

Aur phhir maine wo kiya jo mujhe nahi karna chahiye tha…maine marte dum tak mobile me video dekha aur phhir bistar par hee mar gaya…marne se mera tatparya hai neend…aur neend me maine ek sapna dekha jisme main aur Nisha kitni khushi se apni zindagi gujar basar kar rahe the…us sapne me mere paas wo sab kuch tha jiski mujhe zaroorat thi…jiski mujhe chah thi aur sabse badi baat ki us sapne me main bahut khush tha…pata nahi kaise par main khush tha…bahut khush…jaise ki Nisha hee meri zindagi ho…aur yaha par khushi se mera matlab hai khushi…par us sapne ke aakhiri chand lamho me kuch thik nahi hua…kyunki is sapne ka ant ek khoon se hua tha…aur wo khoon maine kiya tha..par ye kaise mumkin hai…bhala main kisi ka khoon kyun karunga…wo bhi revolver se..?
neend se jagne ke baad maine apna mobile uthaya aur Nisha ko ek sorry wala messege bhej kar M.B.D. Restaurant me milne ke liye bulaya…main jab se mar kar zinda hua tha tab se Nisha ke bare soch raha tha aur jaise-jaise main uske bare me sochta mujhe ahsaas ho raha tha ki wo kitni khoobsurat…kitni ameer hai…aur yadi koyi meri zindagi badal sakti hai toh wo sirf Nisha hai…

“I love you ,Nisha”khud se kahte hue maine ek aur messege Nisha ko tapka diya jisme maine 2 ghante baad na milne ko bolkar bas aadhe ghante ke baad milne ko kaha tha...
.

“aakhir tumne mujhe bulaya kyun…maine toh kal park me hee goodbye kah diya tha…bahut insult kar chuke tum mere parents ki…mere friends ki aur meri…”MBD ke andar jate hue Nisha ne kaha aur wahi gate ke paas rook gayi

“hat pagli,ise insult thode hee kahte hai…ye toh mera pyar hai tere parents ke liye…aur teri un sexy,hot ,glamorous,smart,beautiful saheliyo ke liye aur waise bhi aadmi bezzati usi ki karta hai jiski wo izzat karta hai…”apni shirt ki jeb tatolte hue maine kaha aur mera itna kahna hee tha ki Nisha MBD restaurant ke gate se hee wapas mud gayi….

“wait…wait..”daudkar Nisha ke samne aate hue maine kaha “tum mujhe pyar karti ho aur main bhi shayad tumhe pyar karta hoon…toh kya tumhe nahi lagta ki hum dono ko yahi par karna chahiye….”

“kya..sex ?”

“nahi,pyar ka izhar….wo jaise filmo me karte hai na ki…ladka,ladki ko gulab ka phool deta hai toh ladki khushi ke mare apne dono hath apne galo par rakhkar mar jati hai…”

“kyaaaaaa…”

“sorry…sorry…wo toh aise hee flow-flow me nikal gaya…toh main kaha tha…haan… wo jaise filmo me karte hai na ki…ladka,ladki ko gulab ka phool deta hai toh ladki khushi ke mare apne dono hath apne galo par rakhkar thoda sa smile karte hue haan kah deti hai…phhir dono wahi kiss karte hai aur phhir ek gana chalta hai…jiski ending ladka/ladki ke ghar me sex scene se khatm hoti hai…”

“toh ?”

“toh shuru kare…”

“tumne kaha ki..tum mujhe pyar karti ho aur main bhi shayad tumhe pyar karta hoon…shayad ?”

“shayad se mera matlab hai 100 % confirm…you know it’s apun’s language…”

“hmm…”mere taraf dekhte hue Nisha boli aur finally uske chehre par halki-halki wo muskan aane lagi…jise maine shayad sadiyo se nahi dekha tha..

“kal raat bhi tum aise hee smile kar rahi thi…”

“kal raat…? Kal raat kab…”

“kal raat nahi…aaj din me..yahi kuch…52-53 minutes pahle…”apni ghadi me time dekhte hue main bola “maine ek sapna dekha tha…jisme main aur tum ek ghar me the…jo tumhare ghar jitna toh bada nahi tha…par bada tha…suraj ki good morning wali kirne khidki aur darwaje se pure ghar me faili hui thi aur unhi kirno me se gujarte hue main ghar se bahar aa raha tha ki tabhi kisi ne mera name lekar pukara…aur wo aawaz sunkar main muskuraya ,main bahut khush hua…ekdum achanak se…lekin kyun…aur jab main iska reason jan-ne ke liye peechhe palta toh dekha ki tum kuch doori par mere peechhe khadi ho ,smile marte hue…halki si…yahi kuch 1-2 centimeres tumhare honth khule hue the…thik aisi jaisi abhi kar rahi ho.hum dono bahut khush the aur aisa lag raha tha jaise bas yahi meri life ka the end hai…mere andar wo sukoon tha jise main apni puri zindagi dhoondata raha aur kamal ki baat hai ki ,wo tum thi…blue colour ke kisi short dress me…lekin phhir achanak tumhe kisi ne bulaya…waha par sirf hum dono the lekin wo aawaz meri nahi thi…wo toh us ghar ke kisi hisse se aayi thi..kisi aadmi ki aawaz ya aurat ki…mujhe thik se yaad nahi..par waha par koyi teesara tha aur usi ne wo aawaz tumhe di thi…aur phhir tum achanak se ghabra gayi….jiske baad phhir…”

“ phhir…”

“ phhir…”

“are aage bologe bhi…”

“phhir maine tumhe goli mar di…pata nahi kyun…par ,maine aisa hee kiya…jiska mujhe koyi pachhtawa bhi nahi tha”bolte hue main apne pant ke jeb me kuch dhoondhane laga “sala gulab ka phool ,jo maine bagal wale ke flat se churaya tha…kaha gir gaya”

“ye tum kya nikal rahe ho…”thoda peechhe hat-te hue Nisha puchhi…

“revolver nikal raha hoon,taaki tujhe shoot karke sapna sach kar saku… tumhare liye ek gift laya tha,wahi dhoondh raha hoon…”

“gift…”apne aankhe badi karte hue Nisha wapas mere karib aayi…

“khush toh aise ho rahi hai,jaise main ise Kohinoor condom matlab Kohinoor diamond de dunga…badi mushkil se ek gulab ka phhol chori kiya tha…wo bhi kahi gir gaya…ab ise kya bolunga…kahi phhir se iska mood kharab na ho jaye…ek kaam karta hoon ,next pocket me jo bhi chiz hogi wahi gift bolkar ise pakda deta hoon…baad me justify kar dunga ki wo chiz badi anmol hai….yesss…”sochte hue maine apne pant ki next pocket me hath dala aur jo chiz mere pakad me aayi wo nikal kar maine Nisha ko de di…

“ek kora kagaz…Arman,ye kaisa gift hai…isme toh kuch likha bhi nahi hai”

“kyun tumhe pasand nahi aaya…A-4 size ka kagaz hai..”

“toh ? ye bhi koyi gift hai..”

“tujhe ek A-4 size kore kagaz ki ahmiyat nahi maloom…kitna costly gift hai ye..”
“prove it”

“ye ek A-4 size ka blank paper hai.. jisme main aptitude ke 60 questions solve kar sakta hoon aur wo 60 question kisi bhi exam me kisi bhi shaks ko naukari dilwa sakte hai…ab chal maan le ki us aadmi ki monthly income 30k hai toh us hisab se uski annual income hui 360k aur wo minimum 30 saal tak bhi naukari kare toh uski income hogi yahi kuch……..10.8 Million…aur ye sab kuch hoga sirf is A-4 size ke kore kagaz se…aur mujhe nahi lagta ki aaj tak tumhe kisi ne 10.8 Million  ka gift bhi diya hoga…. That’s Shri Arman for you……bitches”

“itna costly gift…wow”

“worth over 10.8 Million rupees”

“thank you…so what’s next”us kore kagaz ko apne purse me rakhte hue wo boli..

“pahle kiss aur phhir sex…aur phhir sex aur phhir ek aur bar sex…”

“shut up”

“nahi..”

“no…”

“teen baar nahi toh chalo acha do baar…do baar bhi nahi…chalo koyi baat nahi…ab kya…ab aise kyun dekh rahi ho…ek baar bhi nahi...”

“hum yaha kya sex karne aaye the…”

“actually maine yaha tumhe apna sapna sunane ke liye bulaya tha aur…aur…ye kal park me jo hua …matlab jo hua,lekin nahi hona chahiye tha…lekin phhir bhi hua…jiska mujhe behad afsos toh hai lekin utna bhi nahi jitna tum soch rahi ho…toh maine socha ki kyun na tumhe jakar…….”bolte hue main ruk gaya…

“sorry bolna chahte ho…”

“kamal hai,main kab se yahi kahna chah raha tha…par mujhe ye word hee nahi soojh raha tha…par dekho tumhi ne sorry bol diya…chalo maine maaf kiya…tum bhi kya yaad rakhogi ki kis…”

“yugpursh se tumhara pala pada tha…”

“Nisha , seriously ab main tumhe (5 x 15) % pyar karne laga hoon…aur mera aisa mannna hai ki is percentage ko aur badhane ke liye hume sex karna chahiye…”ungali se ishara karte hue main bola “by the way ,Nice boobs…last time thoda chhote the shayad…tum kaho toh…”

“Arman, main ab chalti hoon…bahut time ho gaya hai…aur mere bachpan ka friend David bhi aaj hee Nagpur aaya hai toh…mujhe uske sath movie bhi dekhne jana hai…idea ,tum bhi mere sath chalo…bahut maza aayega…”

“bhad me gaya David…chalo restaurant ke andar coffee peete hai…”kahte hue maine Nisha ka hath pakda aur restaurant ki taraf badha…

“Armaan…hath chhodo…pagal ho kya…main tumse baad me milti hoon…abhi mujhe sach me late ho raha hai”apna hath chhudakar Nisha boli… “main toh aati bhi nahi, par tumne itna jor diya toh aa gayi…”

“it’s Arman…A-R-M-A-N not A-R-M-A-A-N….mujhe gussa aata hai jab koyi mera name galat pronounce karta hai to…ab chal…chal coffee peete hai…aaj main acha hoon ,kal pata nahi kaisa rahunga …isliye main aaj ka apna pura time tere sath bitana chahta hoon…”kahte hue maine wapas Nisha ka hath pakda aur restaurant ke gate ki taraf badha….

“ye kya kar rahe ho Arman…”jhatke se apna hath chhudate hue Nisha boli “tum thik toh ho…yaha kayi log mujhe jante hai aur tum mere sath aisa behave kar rahe ho…Arman main apne family ke sath rahti hoon tumhari tarah akeli nahi…jo pura waqt tumhare sath bita doon…aur jab main bol rahi hoon ki David jo ki mera bestfriend hai uske sath main movie dekhne ja rahi hoon toh…tum baat ko samajh kyun nahi rahe…”

“main nahi samajh raha ? tujhse milne ke liye maine office ka pahla din miss kar diya…aur tu ek movie miss nahi kar sakti…wo bhi kisi tuchiye friend ke sath…dekh ab mera mood kharab mat kar aur chal…”

“main ghar ja rahi hoon…”

Itna bolkar Nisha palti aur waha se chal di…Nisha ko waha se jata dekh mera mann kiya abhi uska hath pakdu aur khichkar do-teen tamacha uske gaal par jama doon aur bolu ki tu meri rakhail hai…toh rakhail ki tarah rah….warna wo haal karunga ki movie dekhna toh door movie ka name bhi lene se daregi…lekin main toh is sadi ka sabse mahan vyakti hoon aur yadi main aisa karunga toh mere fans kya sochenge aur bas apne fans ke liye…sirf aur sirf apne fans ke liye main apna gussa pee gaya…

“Arman doesn’t need anyone…main khud do cup coffee order karunga aur khud piyunga…I hate Nisha…I hate her gay father and her lesbo mother …I hate her hijda friend David…I hate that flop movie and its fucking, flop, faggot actors,directors and producers….i…i…just hate everyone ”aur isi ke sath maine MBD restaurant me entry mari…


.
Restaurant ke andar aane ke baad main bahut der tak khamosh baitha raha aur kuch bhi order nahi kiya..approximately 15 minutes tak…aur haqiqat me 14 minutes 6 seconds tak..jiske baad ek waiter waha aaya…

“kya lenge sir aap…”

“teri maa ki choot…dega kya…”

What a reply! Lekin afsos ki baat ki main use ye kah nahi paya kyunki yadi main ye kahta toh anjaam bahut bura hota…aur us-se bhi bura ye hota ki is tarah main Nisha ka gussa us waiter par utarta jise main janta tak nahi…aur in do chizo ne mujhe aisa karne se rok liya…kyunki ye mere siddhantoke sakht khilaf tha…kyunki main apna gussa usi par utarta hoon jo uske layak hai…jo uska karan hai.aur wo waiter uska karan nahi tha….

“thodi der baad aao…”maine kaha…

Nisha toh chali gayi thi,lekin uske jane ka asar mere dil…dimag…lund har jagah ho raha tha…upar se wo sapna…jo mujhe abhi bhi puri tarah yaad tha. Nisha kitni sundar dikh rahi thi us sapne me…par shayad wo sapna…sapna hee rahega nahi toh Nisha mere sath abhi mere samne baithi hoti…par maine use sapne me mara kyun…kya pata, waise bhi aajkal mera system hang maar raha hai…par mujhe yakin nahi hota ki Nisha ne mere sath coffee peene ke bajay us David ke sath movie dekhna choose kiya..jo kisi bhi lihaz se thik nahi tha…kyunki jaha Nisha ab mall me 3 se 4 ghante waste karegi wahi mere sath sirf aadhe ghante me uska kaam tamam ho jata aur baki bache time me hum sex kar sakte the…jaha Nisha ab movie dekhne me hazar  barbaad karegi wahi mere sath ye aakda hazar bata dus rahta…upar se kaha main aur kaha wo jhat ka baal David…matlab economically aur emotionally ,dono taraf se Nisha ka David ke sath jaane ka faisala galat tha.par usne aisa kyun kiya ?…kahi aisa toh nahi ki uske aur David ke beech kuch chal raha hai ? kahi aisa toh nahi ki Nisha mujhe dhokha de rahi hai ? kahi aisa toh nahi ki do-char din baad Nisha mere paas aayegi aur bolegi ki 

“Arman…meri shadi David ke sath ho rahi hai aur main ab tumse nahi mil sakti”
 

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Chapter-4 : Tempus Itinerantur - 2

“sir…aapka order…”

Is aawaz ne meri ekagrata todi aur maine aawaz ki taraf apna rookh kiya aur paya ki abki baar ek ladki mera order lene aayi thi…

“sir..aap kya order karna chahenge…”apna question repeat marte hue us waitress ne ek aur baar mujhse pucha

“teri gand…tel laga ke…degi kya”

Again…what a reply ! aur ek baar phhir se afsos ki main ye kah nahi paya…reason wahi purana wala ki…kisi aur ka gussa kisi aur par kyun utaru…

“do cup coffee…100  wali”

“sir, us range me humare paas koyi coffee nahi hai…”

“dhat teri ki…Shri Arman ne kis restaurant ka address de diya…ek kaam karo tumhe jo pasand hai wo wali coffee le aao…lekin do…”

“okay…koyi aur bhi aa raha hai kya…”

“kyun…nahi bataunga toh nahi degi kyaa…tujhe kya matlab hai ki kaun aa raha hai…kahi tu Nisha ki friend toh nahi hai ,jo mera Mazak uda rahi hai…”

“nahi sir, mai toh bas aise hee puch rahi thi ,kyunki aapne do cup coffee order kiya isliye…”

“control…control…gussa bacha ke rakh”sochte hue maine khud par kabu kiya aur phhir waitress ki taraf muskurate hue dekhkar bola “ek cup tumhare liye…ek cup mere liye…hmm”
.
Coffee peete-peete maine decide kiya ki ab main Nisha ke bare me aur nahi sochunga aur apne is decision ko sahi karne ke liye main waha aas paas baithe logo ko dekhne laga aur kuch der tak kayi logo ko dekhne ke baad meri nazar ek table par rook gayi, jaha ek family baithi hui thi...ek mard…ek aurat aur unke do ladke…thik usi tarah jaise meri family thi…hum bhi aksar aise restaurants ya hotels me jaaya karte the….lekin us din ki meri aur Vipin bhaiya ki ladayi ne sab kuch badal diya tha…mujhe yaad nahi aata ki us ladayi ke baad main kabhi apne family ke sath kisi restaurant me gaya bhi hoon ya nahi tab main samajh jata hoon ki us din ki ladayi ne sab kuch badal diya tha….main aur Vipin bhaiya , hum dono ek hee school me padhte the…isliye aksar hum dono school me ek-dusare ke kiye kand ka ghar me bakhoobi bayan karte the…dar-asal hum dono aksar isi talaash me rahte the ki kab hum dono me se koyi aisi galti kare jise ghar me batane se samne wale ko daant pade ya maar pade…

“Arman…ab teri koyi shikayat nahi aani chahiye…”school jate waqt mere papa ne mujhse kaha “aur ab tu Varun ke sath bilkul nahi ghoomega…wahi tujhe bigad raha hai…”

“kaun Varun…wo toh sharif hai papa…use bigad toh main raha hoon…”kahte hue maine apna school bag kandhe pe latkaya aur aaine me dekh kar apna hairstyle thik kiya… (“lawda, isiliye baal nahi katwata main…baal set hee nahi ho raha”)

“maine bol diya na ki tu Varun ke sath nahi rahega…bas baat khatm…”

“ok…”kahte hue maine ek aur baar apna baal set kiya aur bus-stand ki taraf chal diya jaha mera khas dost Varun mera intezar kar raha tha….

.

“aur launde…sar kaisa hai…suna hai ki tera bhai tere sath taala fek khel raha tha”bus stand me meri taraf aate hue Varun bola “waise is saal class me do-char nayi maal aayi hai…”

“maal ko hata side…aur jo cigarette tune last time pilayi thi wo wali laa aur do lana…aaj do cigarette ek sath piyunga…ek left side me daba ke aur ek right side me daba ke…”

“ek beech me bhi aa jayega…”

“ Arman se mazak karta hai, nalayak…chal jakar cigarette la”

“Marlboro…”

“jo bhi ho…idk…”

“idk…?”

“I don’t know ...chutiye”

“marlboro ka toh packet hai mere paas…tu do pee…chahe char pee…”

“pura packet ?….acha beta ab samjha ….Reema ke sath apna jugad jamvane ke liye tu meri sewa me malarboro…sorry,marlboro ka packet lekar baitha hai”

“are yar, tu bhai hai mera…tere liye toh Marlboro ka packet kya, mera reebok ka naya bat bhi kurbaan…”

“kaha tak baat pahuchayi tune…”

“bas jaisa tune kaha tha…uske according maine teri math ki notebook pe apna name likhkar use de diya hai…”

“good…dobara kab gaya uske baad…uske paas”

“tune uske baad kuch kaha nahi toh maine bhi kuch nahi kaha…aur phhir tera sar wala kand…vagerah-vagerah…”

“aaj half time me samosa khilayega toh main teri setting aage badhau…”

“haan na bhai…’’

“chal phhir done…aaj Reema ko jakar bolna ki kahi use kisi theorem me doubt toh nahi…phhir wo bolegi haan,toh tu doubt clear kar dena…”kash marte hue main bola

“yaar .ye dhue ka chhalla kaise banate hai log…main toh try kar-kar ke thak gaya…sala banta hee nahi…Varun tujhe aata hai kya…”

“abbey yar…math me toh Reema se jyada meri fat-ti hai aur tune use apne usi subject ka notes de diya…ab uska doubt main kaise clear kar paunga…”mere muh se cigarette nikal kar Varun bola “yadi tune science…social science…subject ke notes diye hote toh shayad main kuch shekhi jhad bhi deta…english…meri English tez hai…english hee de deta…kaha math subject de diya yar…lagta hai tu chahta hee nahi ki Reema mere se set ho…”

“beta…uski English tujhse jyada tez hai aur science aur social science wo rat dalti hai…isliye inme toh wo tujhe ghas bhi nahi dalne wali toh dil dalne ki baat toh door hee hai… wo kya hai na ki loda aur hathoda bina dekhe nahi mara jata…aur math ki tension chhod main tujhe do-teen toughest theorem explain kar dunga aur tu kisi movie ke dialogue ke maafiq yaad karke uske samne bol dona….”cigarette ka ek lamba kash marker main bola “tu itna nervous kyun ho jata hai aksar…”

“kahi beech me bhool gaya toh ?”

“yaha main italian songs ke lyrics yaad karne ki soch raha hoon aur tu hindi me theorem yaad nahi kar sakta…tum sale ,chhote log”

“chal bas aa gayi...”

“bas…ya bus ? teri English toh sachmuch kafi strong hai…kaha se seekhi…Lundan university se”
.
“sir ,aapka bill…”

“hmm…thodi der baad aate toh kya main paise nahi deta…khair jaane do…tumhari bhi kaun si galti hai”

Bill pay karne ke baad main waha se utha aur MBD se bahar aa gaya…Pahle mujhe lagta tha ki main dohri zindagi jee raha hoon…ek college ki aur ek aaj ki…lekin pichhale kuch dino se mujhe school life ke bhi kuch scene dikhne lage hai…pata nahi kyun,par mujhe lagta hai jaise mera aaj ,mera aaj nahi hai…jaise ki main ye sab kuch pahle bhi kar chuka hoon…jaise ki main Nisha se ek saal pahle nahi balki kayi salo pahle mila hoon..aur sach batau toh mujhe ab bhi yakin nahi hota ki 8th semester khatm ho chuka hai…mujhe aisa lagta hai jaise ki ye sab ek sapna hai…jaise ki main samay ke kisi antarjaal me fasa hua hoon aur wahi gote laga raha hoon par ek din meri neend tootegi aur main khud ko college me paunga…kahne ka matlab hai ki mujhe mera present…past lagta hai aur past ,future……confused ? well ,I’m too…aakhir tihari zindagi jeene ka kuch toh nuksan hoga hee…
----------------------------------------------------------
School life - Arman Version 1.0
College life - Arman Version 2.0
After college- Arman Version 3.0
Ye terminology yaad kar lo, future me kaam aayegi  Good Night

 

Chapter-5 : Sharda Enterprises

“hello...”baye kaan se mobile satate hue maine jawab diya

“ji..kya meri Arman ji se baat ho rahi hai”kisi ladki ki aawaz ne dusari taraf se mera name pukara toh mujhe laga ki meri koyi lady fan hai…

“nahi…mera matlab haan…”mobile ko baaye kaan se daye kaan me shift karte hue maine bola….

“Arman ji,main Sharda Enterprise se call kar rahi hoon…aaj aapki joining date thi aur aapko mail kiye gaye call letter me humne saaf-saaf likha tha ki aaj ki date me aapko join karna hee hai…company koyi delay bardasht nahi karegi…am I right Mr. Arman…”

“hundred percent…”

“aur aapne aaj join nahi kiya…is-se hume yahi maloom hota hai ki company ke rules aur regulation ki aapko koyi parwah nahi…”

“mom…I mean , mam…actually baat ye hai ki ,parso girlfriend ke sath mera jhagda ho gaya tha toh maine socha ki kyun na use aaj date pe le jaun…mujhe ye khayal bhi aaya ki aaj toh mujhe company join karni hai…aur phhir maine socha…bahut socha…. toh samajh me aaya ki joining date delay ki ja sakti hai…main kal join kar lunga aur aap chahe toh main kal 20 ghante kaam karne ko taiyar hoon…aap chahe toh mujhe punish karne ke liye mere one week ki salary bhi kaat sakte hai…main mind nahi karunga…par sach manniye…meri girlfriend ko mannana jyada zaroori tha…hello…hello…………hellllllo…heeeello……….hellooooo…..phone cut gaya kya…hello,janemann…bura maan gayi kya…tum chaho toh tumhe bhi date par le ja sakta hoon…ab toh reply de, ya lawda ghusau toh hee mannegi…lagta hai lawdi ne call disconnect kar di…gand maraye…talented launda hoon main…”


Maine jeb me ek cigarette sulgaya….matlab jeb me hee cigarette sulgaya…yani ki maine shirt ki jeb me hee cigarette sulgaya yani ki jeb ke andar cigarette sulgaya aur machis ki tilli jeb me hee fek di aur jaise hee mobile jeb me rakhne laga toh kisi ne mujhe call kiya lekin tabhi mujhe kuch bahut bura sa mahsoos hua…mujhe aisa laga jaise ki bata nahi sakta ki kaisa laga… aur jab meri nazar mere shirt ke jeb par gayi toh maine dekha ki waha se dhua nikal raha tha aur mere dekhte hee dekhte mere wo dhua aag ki chhoti-chhoti…nanhi-nanhi…pyari-pyari lapto me tabdil ho gaya

“iski maa ka…”

Maine mobile ek taraf feka aur apne doo hatho se shirt ki jeb me lage aag ko bujhane laga…jisme mujhe kuch hee seconds hee lage…lekin jab tak maine wo aag bujhayi meri wo shirt kharab ho chuki thi aur upar se mere seene ke paas ki thodi si chamdi bhi jal gayi thi…actually jaIi nahi thi bas kala sa nishan aa gaya tha aur jalan mahsoos ho raha tha…

“aur maro beta stunt…jal gaya na dil,ab kaun bharega iska bill….bill se yaad aaya mera mobile phone…”

Maine zamin se mobile phone uthaya aur ye dekhne laga ki call kiski thi…“Nisha call kar reli thi..par kyun…zaroor mujhse mafi magni hogi…rahne do…bahut uchak rahi thi…lekin kya ye sahi rahega…call kar hee leta hoon .afterall har kisi ka dil mere dil ki tarah bada nahi hota…”kahte hue maine Nisha ka number dial kiya….

“Arman…mujhe laga ki tum mera call hee receive nahi karoge…lekin dekho tumne toh return call bhi kar diya…”call uthate hee Nisha boli “kaash ki tum bhi mere sath aaye hote…main…David aur Shipra bahut enjoy kar rahe hai…yadi tum aaye hote toh tumhe bhi bahut maza aaya hota…”

“kya yahi batane ke liye mujhe call kiya tha…”apne jale hue seene aur shirt ko simultaneously sahlate hue maine puchha…

“I’m sorry ,Arman…ki maine tumhare sath thoda rude behave kiya…”

“thoda ?”

“actually , sach kahu toh sorry tumhe bolna chahiye,par tum toh sorry bolne se rahe toh maine socha ki main hee bol doon…I apologize”

“apology accepted…ouch..”

“kya hua Arman…”

“kuch nahi bas tumhare gham me apna dil jala raha hoon…”

“ok…bye…Arman. Shipra mujhe bula rahi hai…abhi hum horror house me jaane wale hai…”

“Shipra bhi hai…aaj kitne ka popcorn chaba gayi wo…”

“shut up,Arman…ok bye…”

“byyyeee….aish karo baap ke paiso par…I hope ki usne last line nahi suni hogi…Sali, KAPD(khade Armano par dhokha) karke sorry bolne ka natak karti hai….i just everyone……………hate…..”

.

Sach kahu toh kabhi-kabhi mujhe nafrat hoti hai un logo se jo mere aas-paas hai…main thak gaya hoon wahi life roj jeete hue…roj unhi jaane pahchane logo ko dekhna, unse milna aur ye dikhawa karna ki main kitna khush hoon…jo ki main nahi hoon…main thak gaya hoon har roj Varun ko dekhkar…har roj Nisha ko dekhkar…lekin ye baaten main unhe nahi bata sakta kyunki mujhe maloom hai ki wo mujhe nahi samajh payenge…matlab kya fayda aisi zindagi ka jisme ek saal tak sirf do logo ka chehra dekhna pade…sirf do logo se hee baat karna pade…isiliye jab kabhi bychance main kisi teesare vyakti se milta hoon toh mujhe aisa ahsaas hota hai jaise main insaan nahi balki koyi alien hoon ya phhir mujhe prithvi ke kisi nayi jaati ke samne lakar khada kar diya gaya ho…aur phhir log chahte hai ki main unse normal behave karu,lekin hota iske thik ulat hai…darasal main ye kahna chahta hoon main logo ke sath jaanbuchkar waisa bartav nahi karta, jaisa ki main karta hoon…wo toh bas apne aap ho jata hai…upar se bahut kam sone ki vazah se aajkal main thoda chidchida bhi rahta hoon…isliye jab bhi koyi jabarpeli ki hoshiyari karta hai toh main uski hoshiyari uske gand me ghused deta hoon…lekin jaha aap kaam karte hai waha aapki personal problems se koyi matlab nahi hota,waha aapko sabhya hee rahna padta hai,phhir chahe aap andar se kitne bhi bade tharki ya sanki kyun na ho…upar se jab aap apne office ke pahle din hee gayab rahe ho toh sabhya rahne ki jimmewari…yani ki jimmedari, thodi badh jati hai aur isi vazah se main agle din white shirt ,black trouser ke sath black tie me dress up hua aur paidal hee office ke liye nikal pada…pahle toh maine socha ki Varun ki car ya bike me se kuch utha loon ,lekin phhir mujhe khayal aaya ki yadi main auto se jata hoon toh auto me mujhe maal mil sakti hai,jinke sath seat share karte waqt unke shareer ke kuch private part mere shareer ke kuch parts se takrayenge…halaki iski probability 50 % thi, ya phhir usase bhi kam…lekin phhir bhi maine auto se jaane ka hee decision liya aur samne se aa rahe ek autowale ko hath dikhaya…

Autowale ne mujhe dekhkar jaha mai khada tha us-se se thodi door aage me auto roka aur apne muh ka gutkha thook kar bola “kaha…”

“sharda enterprise…”kahte hue maine auto ke andar nazar ghumayi “bc ek bhi maal nahi,yaha toh sab buddhi baithi hui hai…”

“25 lagega…”

“5  me chalna hai toh bol…main aaj pahli baar sharda enterprice nahi ja raha hoon…mera roj ka aana jana hai…”use talne ke liye maine jaanbuchkar aisa kaha…
Jiske jawab me autowale ne ek aur baar gutkha thooka aur auto ka handle samne ki taraf ghuma kar accelerator marte hue waha se nikal gaya….

“ek aur auto aa raha hai…ummid hai ki isme maal hongi…”ek aur autowale ko samne se aata dekh maine mann me kaha aur hath dekar use rukwaya…

“huhh…kohhaaa…”apna muh upar uthakar usne mujhse aise pucha taki uske muh me bhara gutkha uske muh me hee rahe…

“shordaaa…entorprise…”uski nakal utarte hue main bola…

“30 rupiyaa lagega…”

“30 rupiyaa..”

aur phhir meri nazar andar baithi do ladkiyo par gayi jinke chehra unhone scarf se thak rakhe the…aur unhe dekhte hee main us auto me jaane ke liye raji ho gaya lekin aaj meri kismet kharab nikli kyunki jaha se main baitha tha waha se thoodi doori par hee wo dono ladkiya utar gayi aur phhir pure raste bhar auto me koyi dusari ladki nahi aayi…

sharda enterprises ka head office ek complex ke andar tha…complex ke bahar auto se utarkar maine autowale ko paisa diya aur upar ki taraf dekha…

“sharda complex…toh ye puri building hee sharda vihar walo ki hai…gazab,lawde logo ne acha business bana kar rakha hua hai…”

Pahle Main complex ke andar ghusa aur phhir complex ke andar bane sharda enterprises ke head office me…yaha aane se pahle maine socha tha ki meri pelam-pel insult ki jayegi…lekin jab main andar pahucha toh dekha ki kisi ne mujhe kuch nahi kaha aur ek letter dekar ek office me jane ke liye kaha…

“kamal hai…is letter par toh aaj ki joining date likhi hui hai”khud se baat karte hue main us office ki taraf badha jaha mujhe letter lekar jaane ke liye kaha gaya tha…

“may I come in…”

“who are you…”thoda strict aawaz me ,ek aurat ya phhir kahe ki ek ladki boli…jo ki us office ke main chair par sawar thi…

“I’m Arman…your new designer…I mean, your new machine designer…”thoda nervous hote hue main bola…

“Arman…come in.have a seat…”

“thank you….mam”uske samne ki ek chair par apna pichhwada tikate hue main bola…

“Arman…tumhari joining date kab ki hai…”

“is letter ke according toh aaj hee hai…”apne hath me rakhe letter ko dekhte hue main bola “par actual joining date kal ki thi…”

“toh phhir tumhe mere samne kal hona chahiye tha, aaj nahi…is delay ki koyi vazah…”

“wo main kal……kal isliye nahi aa paya…kyunki”

“kyunki tum apni girlfriend ke sath date par gaye the…am I right Mr.Arman…”

“aapko kaise pata”chauk kar maine pucha aur tab mujhe samajh aaya ki kal phone pe yahi lawdi thi…matlab yahi ladki thi…par is samay mere samne jo aham sawal tha wo ye ki main ise ladki kahu ya phhir aurat…kyunki wo ladki kahlane ke umra se adhik aur aurat kahlane ke umra se chhoti thi…matlab ladki aur aurat ke beech me jo phase hota hai , wo usme thi lekin phhir maine socha ki ise ,iske name se hee pukara jaye…wohi jyada better hai….. “Ms. Vandana Rathi…huh ,ghatiya name ”

“toh kya kal call aapne ne kiya tha…mam”Ms. Rathi ke toblerone nameplate ko dekhte hue maine pucha

“yes…give me your joining letter”

Iske baad Ms..Rathi ne mere letter pe sign kiya aur mujhe wo letter le jakar wahi wapas jama karne ko kaha,jaha se lekar main aaya tha…
Jaisa ki maine pahle bataya hai ki mujhe aksar chidh hoti hai kisi naye vyakti se baat-chit karne me aur yahi haal mera Sharda Vihar me bhi raha ,mujhse milne…mujhe assist karne ke liye do-char log mere paas bhi aaye lekin un sabse maine aisa bartaav kiya jaise ki wo mere office me kaam karne wale worker nahi balki Esha ke boyfriend Gautam ho…aur phhir sham ko 4 baje ke lagbhag mere computer ke bagal me rakha telephone baj utha…

“hello…”

“aadhe ghante pahle tumhare paas maine do files bhijwayi thi,uski report tumne abhi tak nahi di…”

Aawaz sunte hee main samajh gaya tha ki ye Ms. Rathi hai lekin phhir bhi maine pucha ki “kaun” pata nahi kyun par maine aise hee puch liya…

“your manager…”

“Rathi mam… ?”

“puch rahe ho ya bata rahe ho…”

“dono…”

“kya…”

“dono files maine dekh li…ek ko toh nipta bhi diya.i mean first wale ke andar jitney machine tools aur parts the unki design maine check kar li aur jinki dimensions galat thi usko correct karke…correct karke…Yogij…Yogijog…..kya nam hai iska….Yogijogi…Yogi-jogi ko bhej di hai…”

“and what about the second one…”

“I’ll finish it tomorrow….i mean today, at home”

“really…”

“yeah”

“ek file complete karne me tumne aaj ka pura din nikal diya aur yadi tumne dusari wali file ko ghar par complete kiya toh us par puri raat nikal jayegi…”

“ek engineer aur us engineer ki ek raat ki mehnat par kabhi shaq nahi karna chahiye mam…”thoda majakiya lahje me bolte hue maine apni ghadi me time dekha “abhi toh 4 baje hai aur yadi aap chahe toh kal office me aane se pahle tak main ek kya teen files ko check kar sakta hoon…”

“sach me…soch lo.yadi ek baar commitment kar di toh phhir ….”

“don’t worry mam,files bhijwa dijiye…kal aapke aane se pahle teeno files apki table par hongi…”

“ok…as your wish…”bolte hue Ms. Rathi ne phone rakh diya.

“BC ,randi…”

Rolebazi me maine Ms.Rathi ko ye toh bol diya tha ki main ye kar dunga…main wo kar dunga…lekin jab teeno files mere paas aayi aur jab maine unhe dekha toh main samajh gaya ki beta Arman…ab toh tujhe swayam Shri Newton bhi nahi bacha sakte..kyunki har files par taqriban char se panch ghante lagne the yaani ki kul milakar 12 ghante se adhik ka workload toh tha hee...

“kaha jaoge…”Sharda complex ke bahar mujhe khada dekhkar ek autowale ne pucha…

“river view colony…”

“30  lagega…return me koyi sawari nahi milti udhar se….”

Aur phhir maine auto ke andar dekha aur dekhte hee mera mann khil gaya…kyunki andar teen-teen maal baithi thi and guess what….un teeno me se sirf ek ne apna chehra dhak rakha tha…maine turant hami bhari aur auto me baith gaya….auto me main jis ladki ke bagal me baitha tha uski jaangh ka kuch hissa mere jaangh se touch ho raha tha aur kyunki hum char log ek hee seat par baithe the toh bahut hee roughly uski jaangh meri jaangh se ragad rahe the….

“aah ,maza aa gaya…kya tight maal hai”andar hee adar khud ko sabashi dete hue maine kaha

Aur tabhi autowale ne auto rok-kar do aur sawari ko andar bhar liya unme se ek ladka tha toh dusari ladki…wo dono beech ke seat me meri taraf muh karke baith gaye….launda toh badhiya adjust ho gaya…lekin ladki ko adjust hone me thodi dikkat ho rahi thi jiske karan mujhe aur meri sath baithi teen ladkiyo ko thoda aage –pichhe hona pada…par ye mere liye hee faydemand raha kyunki isi dauran do teen baar meri kuhani mere bagal me baithi ladki ki breast ke thoda neeche wale part se takrayi aur ab uski bum ka kuch hissa bhi mujhse roughly touch ho raha tha….jiske karan mera khada ho gaya….auto ke andar ye mahol taqriban dus minutes tak raha aur phhir jo ladki ek launde ke sath abhi-abhi auto me chadhi thi wo thoda tez aawaz me mujhse boli…

“bhaiya ,aap gent hai…aap aage nahi ja sakte kya…”

“nahi ,behan…”

“idiot…mannners nahi hai”badbadate hue usne apna chehra dusari taraf kar liya

Usne aakhiri line boli toh dheere thi lekin maine wo sun li aur aap sab toh mujhe jante hee ho ki main Newton baba ka third law aaply karne me kabhi deri nahi karta matlab ki maine usi intensity aur frequency ki aawaz ,jis intensity aur frequency ke sath wo mujhpar chillayi thi …. main bola…

“ye kahi ka rule hai kya ki ladka hee aage baithne jaye…kya main tere se kam paisa de raha hoon…ya tu koyi rani victoria hai jo main tere khatir aage jaun….tujhe kya lagta hai ki mere mathe par L likha hai aur idiot kisko boli be tu…choose any field ….any topic and any place ,I’ll fuck you in your backyard…”

“ladies se baat karne ki tameej nahi hai kya…”

“wah…tum chaho toh hume idiot…kutta…kamina bol lo….wo sahi hai,lekin jab hum tumhe tumhari language me hee jawab de toh galat hai…mana ki hume sikhaya jata hai ladies aur senior citizens ko seat deni chahiye lekin tu na toh pregnant hai aur na hee senior citizen….jitna paisa tu de rahi hai utna main bhi de raha hoon…yadi aaram tujhe chahiye toh phhir mujhe bhi chahiye…phhir main kyun aage jakar latku….baklol samajh ke rakhi hai kya aur by the way…who the hell are you ? do I even know you ?equality chahiye na tum logo ko toh phhir lo equality…badi aayi tameejdar…aur agali baar kisi ladke ko idiot bolne se pahle hazar baar soch lena kyunki har shaks Arman jitna dayalu nahi hota jo sirf warning dekar chhod dega…now get lost”


Iske baad wo ladki ekdum sann ho gayi aur waha baithi baki teen ladkiya bhi…jise maine abhi batti di thi uska boyfriend bhi sann ho gaya tha… main aamtaur par itna gussa nahi hota hoon balki isase jyada hota hoon ,ye toh kuch bhi nahi hai….mere kam gussa hone ki vazah shayad mera lund tha…jo thodi der pahle jaha aasman ki bulandiyo ko chhu raha tha wahi ab wo patal lok ki surango me kahi gum ho gaya tha…mera matlab ab bhi mere bagal me baithi ladki ka pichhwada mujhse roughly touch ho raha tha lekin mera lund tha ki patal lok se bahar aane ka naam hee nahi le raha tha…

.
“pahli baar tu laptop me movie ya bf dekhne ke aalawa kuch aur kar raha hai…abey ye kya hai itna bhayankar diagram…”mujhe tokte hue Varun bola aur main isi ke sath thoda chauka…

thoda matlab yahi kuch 10-12 %...par main chauka kyunki Varun kab aa gaya iski mujhe bhanak bhi nahi lagi aur wo aakar…hath-muh dhokar…kapde badalkar ,usne jab mere paas aakar mere dwara banaye gaye diagram ko bhayankar kaha tab mera dhyan uspar gaya….kamal hai, is tarah toh koyi room me ghuskar chori bhi kar lega aur mujhe bhanak tak nahi lagegi….

“kaha kho gaya be…”abki bar chutki bajate hue Varun bola….

“kamal hai, main ek bar phhir kho gaya…back to back do baar…mujhe koyi bimari hai kya…pahle toh aisa nahi hota tha…lagta hai mere sixth sence ko repair ki sakht zaroorat hai aur mujhe maloom hai ki ye kaise hoga….Nisha…sex ”

“ab ye saanp ki tarah kya fusfusa kyun raha hai…hua kya tujhe…”abki baar mujhe hilate hue Varun ne kaha…

“this is fucking crazy…BC teesari baar…”

Main abhi back to back teen baar apne hee khayalo me hee kho gaya tha lekin iska matlab ye nahi ki mujhse Varun ne jo kaha mujhe yaad nahi…mujhe yaad hai ki wo mere dwara cad software par banaye gaye gear arrangement ke diagram ko bhayankar bol raha tha….ab kyunki baatchit Varun ne wahi se shuru ki thi ,isliye maine bhi wahi se reply dena shuru kiya….

“mast hai na…maine banaya”

“sach…”

“main kabhi jhooth bolta hoon kya…waise laptop par bf dekhne wali baat se mujhe yaad aaya ki Reema aur tera jhagda solve hua kya…”

“abey uska name Sonam hai…ye Reema kaha se aa gayi”hairan-pareshan hokar Varun ne kaha

“mera matlab wahi tha…jhagda solve hua…”

“nahi…maine use sorry bhi bola lekin wo nahi mani”

“kaisa aadmi hai be tu…mujhe dekh main kaise Nisha ko har baar handle kar leta hoon aur ek tu hai Sonam se hamesha sorry bolta rahta hai….”

“ab har koyi Shri Arman thode hee hota hai, kuch aam insaan bhi hote hai…jaise ki main.waise Sonam lagbhag maan hee gayi hai ,bas uski ek shart hai…”meri taraf ummid bhari nazro se dekhte hue Varun ne kaha…

“ki main us-se sorry bolu…hai na”

“haan…”

“don’t worry…bol dunga…lekin apne style me…”

“sorry matlab ,sorry hee bolega na…ya Shri Arman ke language me sorry ka matlab kuch aur bhi hai…you know, its apun’s language”

“relax…sorry hee bolunga…par mujhe samajh nahi aata ki log mujhse sorry kyun bulwate hai…sorry bolne ke peechhe logo ki ye intention hoti hai ki mujhe maaf kijiye, hum sharminda hai apne kiye par aur yahi vazah hai ki main kisi ko sorry nahi bolta kyunki main kabhi apne kiye par sharminda hota hee nahi aur yadi maine by chance kisi ko sorry bola bhi toh uska matlab ye nahi hota ki main sharminda hoon…balki uska matlab ye hota hai ki…janeman ,abhi toh main tujhe aur sharminda karunga..kyunki main mahan…mera lund mahan”

“toh phhir ,ye tay raha ki tu Reema ko sorry bolega…”

“Reema nahi Sonam…”

“haan…wahi, wahi…Sonam…Sonam main tumhe bhool jaun ye ho nahi sakta aur tum mujhe bhool jao ye main hone nahi dunga…ayyyee…Sonam”

“bas kar be…”

“chal thik hai…toh phhir tu ye apna ye gear chala ,main chala sone…”

“sone , time kya hua hai…”chaukte hue maine Varun se pucha…

“11:45 ”

“oh teri toh…12 baj gaye…mujhe laga ki 7-8 baje honge…aaj tu 12 baje room par aaya yani phhir tu Sonam ke sath kahi bahar gaya tha…”

“good night Arman…”

 

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Chapter-6 : Upheaval
“chal be…”

“bhai ek kaam karna...eyedrop dal de”

“khud dal le”bolkar main wapas lappy me busy ho gaya
Mujhe toh aaj raat bhar jagna hai warna Rathi darling se kiya hua commitment toot jayega…aur waise bhi mujhe kaun sa neend aati hai…kabhi-kabhi toh lagta hai ki mujhe marne ke baad hee neend aayegi,khair usme abhi time hai…

Main raat bhar jaga aur Rathi mam ki di hui teeno files ko salta kar cigarette peete hue morning walk par nikal gaya…waise toh cigarette peena koyi badi baat nahi…jalao, dhua andar lo aur phhir bahar feko…lekin daudte waqt cigarette peena…ye badi baat hai….aur main yahi kar raha tha jiske karan park me mere aas-paas mauzood log mujhe thoda hairani se dekh rahe the…unme se kuch shayad mann me has bhi rahe honge aur kuch toh gali bhi de rahe honge…lekin mujhe kaunsa fark padta hai…main toh bas apne aap me mast cigarette peete hue daud raha tha aur park ke kuch chakkar katne ke baad maine pani ki bottle jisme main beer bharkar laya tha use kholkar peene laga….main tab tak beer peeta raha jab tak main ek saans me pee sakta tha aur phhir ek lambi saans chhodte hue park ki deewar par kood kar baith gaya…

“maza aa gaya, I love beer more than girls…”

“you’re Armaan…hai na”mere samne khade hokar ek shaks ne pucha

“Arman…not Armaaaaaaan…. only single ‘a’ between ‘m’ and ‘n’…samajh me aaya ya paper me likh kar dikhau…”bolte hue maine bottle ka dhakkan khola aur phhir beer peene laga….

Beer peete samay mujhe khayal aaya ki ye mujhse milne aaya hai toh zaroor mujhe janta hee hoga ya phhir mera fan hoga…mujhe ise beer offer karni chahiye…lekin phhir jab mujhe khayal aaya ki ye beer 760 ki hai toh maine apna ye irada badal diya

“I’m David…Nisha’s ”

“brother…”

“friend not brother…”

“kya fark padta hai dono same hee hote hai…Rakshabandhan me bach kar rahna”beer ki dhakkan band karte hue maine mann me kaha “acha hua sale ko beer offer nahi ki…ye toh David hai”

“tumse kuch baat karni thi…tumhare paas time hai…”

Maine apni ghadi me nazar mari aur phhir ghadi ki taraf hee dekhte hue kaha “tumhare paas char sau char…teen…do….ek…. seconds hai…jaldi bolo…”

“phhir kabhi…baat karenge…”achanak apna mood change karte hue David bola“main janta hoon ki tum ye soch rahe hoge ki main tumhe kaise janta hoon ,tumhari photo Nisha ne dikhayi thi aur aaj park me tahalte waqt maine tumhe jogging karte hue dekha toh….”

“chal, be ….kya bore kar raha hai”David ki baat ko unsuna karke main waha se utha aur room ki taraf chal diya….

David se meri koyi anban nahi thi kyunki afterall wo le deke Nisha ke liye uska sirf ek acha dost tha aur Nisha ke bare me main aaj tak jo chiz samajh paya hoon wo ye ki wo meri tarah tharki nahi hai aur wo kisi ke sath bhi kitni raat tak kyun na ghume…chudegi sirf mujhse hee…ye baat alag hai ki last time mujhe uspar thoda shaq hua tha ki kahi wo David se toh set nahi hone wali..par aaj David ko dekhkar main samajh gaya tha ki Nisha use is janam me toh kya agle sau janmo me bhi nahi milegi, Lekin phhir bhi mera bartaav David ke sath kuch acha nahi tha…jiska karan, as you know …ye tha ki mujhe nafrat hai naye logo se baat karne se…mujhe bilkul bhi pasand nahi ki jise main pasand nahi karta wo mere paas aakar mujhse mere ya Nisha ke bare me baat kare….i just…just hate everyone….

“Arman…”mere khayalo me vighn dalte hue ek aawaz mere kano me gunji aur main samajh gaya ki ye aawaz kiski thi…isliye is aawaz ko ansuna karke main room ki taraf aage badhta raha…

“Armaaaan….”ek baar phhir wahich aawaz mere kano ko cheerti hui nikli aur abki baar aawaz thodi tez thi aur thodi tez se mera matlab hai bahut tez….

“Nisha…mujhe room jana hai aur office ka kuch kaam hai usko khatm karna hai, isliye main tumse abhi nahi mil sakta…bye”bina peeche mude aage chalte hue hee main bola ….

“main Nisha nahi Aradhna hoon…”abki baar ye aawaz bahut jyada tez thi…itni tez …jaise kisi ne mere kaan ke paas jor se chillaya ho aur is aawaz ne mere badhte kadmo me jam sa laga diya….mera dil joro se dhadakne laga…hath-pair kanpne lage aur main man hee man me bhagwan se prathna karne laga ki maine jo kuch bhi suna hai…wo sirf mera vaham ho….

Mere andar itni himmat nahi thi ki main peechhe mudkar dekhu…jabki is samay full din ka samay tha…mere kadam aise jam ho gaye the jaise ki kisi ne bediyo se unhe bandh diya ho…matlab main unhe hila toh sakta tha lekin ek kadam bhi aage badhana mere liye doobhar tha…lekin main pura time toh yaha khada nahi rah sakta tha abhi nahi toh kabhi toh mujhe peeche dekhna hee hoga…isliye apni puri himmat jutakar main peechhe palta…par waha koyi nahi tha…

“fuck…ab ye bhi din dekhna padega…pahle toh sirf sapne me hee Aradhna ki aawaz sunayi deti thi ,par aaj toh haqiqat me bhi….ek minute, kahi ye sapna toh nahi…?”

Maine apne aaju baju dekha,sab kuch normal hee tha…main waha ke aas-paas ke environment ko dekha …sab kuch waisa hee tha jaisa ki haqiqat me hota hai…lekin yadi ye haqiqat hai toh phhir Aradhna ki aawaz mujhe kaise sunayi de sakti hai …kahi ye mera vaham toh nahi ya phhir sach me main koyi sapna dekh raha hoon…sapna ya haqiqat….? Ye Sapna hai…..nahi haqiqat…..nahi ye sapna hai…pagal hai kya bosedk, ye haqiqat hai…aur Jab bahut der tak mujhe samajh nahi aaya ki ye ek sapna hai ya haqiqat toh maine apna purana funda istemal kiya…jo main tab istemaal kiya karta tha…jab mere school ka ek marhoom dost mujhe sapne me daraya karta tha…sale ne bahut pareshan karke rakha tha,us-se main jitna dara tha utna toh main 8th Semester ke end me S.P. se nahi dara tha…

.
Main ek ghar ke samne gaya aur us ghar ki boundary par ek mukka marne ka socha kyunki yadi ye sapna hota toh phhir main jaha soya hua hu waha apne hath me uthe dard ke karan uth jata lekin yadi mukka marne ke baad main yahi rahta aur mujhe dard bhi hota toh ye haqiqat hai aur sath me wo aawaz bhi jiske karan main apna hath todne ka risk le raha hoon…maine apne hatheli ko kaskar bandha aur ek jordar punch deewar par mara….

“real hai, BC”dard se hath sahlate hue main cheekha aur hath sahlate hue hee room ki taraf badha…
.

Room pahuchkar maine fridge se barf nikala aur apne hath sekte hue Varun se kaha….

“Varun tu kisi ache doctor ko janta hai kya…matlab waisa doctor jo buddhijiviyo ka ilaaz karta hai…”

“buddhijiviyo se tera matlab mental log ?"

“apparently ”

“Neurologist ?”

“hao yar…abhi-abhi mujhe Aradhna ki aawaz sunayi di…”

“ye tere hath ko kya hua…”

“kuch nahi ,bas experiment kar raha tha deewar par mukka mar kar…tere jaan pahchan me hai kya koyi neurologist”

“dekhna padega”

“dekh lena…”apna laptop on karte hue main bola…aur apne kaam par lag gaya…

“ye bhi complete…ye bhi complete aur ye bhi complete…arey wah ,aaj toh Rathi darling bahut khush hogi…kamal kar diya apun ne…par kamal ki baat ye hai ki main puri raat jaga aur neend ab bhi meri aankho se koso door hai…ek jamhayi tak nahi…bolo Shri Arman ki……Jai”

Rathi mam ki fat ke char ho gayi,jab maine Sharda Vihar pahuchte hee teeno files uske table par fek di toh…matlab jab table par rakh di toh….usne apna spectacle uthaya aur aise muh banakar mujhe dekhne lagi jaise kisi ne uski choot marte waqt unexpectedly lawda uske gand me daal diya ho yani ki full shocked… bas fark itna tha ki Rathi mam ko is samay sirf dard nahi ho raha tha baki pura expression wahi unexpectedly gand me lawda dalne wala tha….

“Yogi se check karwaya….”files dekhte hue Rathi mam ne kaha aur files dekhte waqt wo beech-beech me apne hontho ko apne daanto se chaba rahi thi…jisase main samajh gaya ki Rathi mam ki fat ke char nahi balki aath ho gayi hai….

“bitch please…I’m Arman..Shri Arman”maine mann me kaha

“yogi se check karwaya ?”

“abhi nahi…”

“excellent job….it’s a pleasure to have you, Arman….”files me apni aankhe gadakar Vandana Rathi boli

“thannnkkk…..”bolte-bolte main achanak ruka kyunki files dekhte hue Rathi mam itna kho gayi thi ki wo apne neck ke thoda neeche scratch karne lagi aur main bhi gaur se unke neck ke neeche ke hisse ko dekhne laga….

“abhi iske upar mutth mar du to….maza aa jaye…suppose Arman, ki Rathi mam apna lawda… yani ki tera lawda choos rahi hai…yahi ,abhi…isi cabin me….phhir wo apne trouser ki zib kholte hue peechhe mudkar apni gand teri taraf kar deti hai….”aur mere aisa sochate hee waha ka drishya badalne laga….

maine dekha ki Rathi mam mujhe ungali se ishara karke apne paas bulati hai aur main unke paas jakar unke boobs ko jor-jor se masalne lagta hoon….Rathi mam ka ang-ang unke tight trouser aur shirt se bahar aane ko bekabu ho rahe the aur jor-jor se saans lete hue wo kabhi mere hontho ko chumti toh kabhi mere seene ko aur phhir usne apne hath se mere pant ki zib kholi aur apna hath mere underwear ke andar dalkar mere lund ko masalne lagi….Rathi mam ke mere lund chhune se utpanne uttejana ke karan maine uske sar ke baal ko kheenchkar uske hontho par apni ungaliya firayi aur phhir use neeche jhukakar uska muh apne zib tak le aaya….. meri is harqat par Rathi mam ne muskura kar meri taraf dekha aur mere lund ke bahar wale pant aur underwear ke hisso par apna muh ragadne lagi….maine apne dono hatho se uska sar pakda aur apne pant par ragadne laga….Rathi mam is kadar uttejana ke aagosh me thi ki usne mere pant aur underwear ko chus-chus kar geela kar diya tha aur phhir thodi der baad mere lund ko underwear se bahar nikal kar apni jeebh se halka sa sparsh kiya…..aaahhhh

“Arman….Arman….”

“haaann…yes mam…”sakpaka kar main jaise hosh me aaya aur hosh me aate hee apne zib ke paas apna hath le gaya… “ khayali pulav ” 

“kaha ho mister…kaha kho gaye the…”

“darasal mam main soch raha tha…kya soch raha tha yes… I should use SkyCiv 3D to model and solve complex 3D structures…”

“as your wish…good luck”

“thank you….mam”

.
Aaj ka din mere liye office me thoda boring ho raha tha kyunki aaj mujhe koyi kaam nahi tha…isliye maine mann me Rathi mam ko chodne ke bare me socha…kyunki jo time mila hai uska use toh karna hee chahiye upar se Rathi mam bagal wale kamre me hai toh thodi feeling bhi aayegi aur yadi jyada mann kiya toh bathroom me jakar muthiya mar lunga afterall, jaisa mann…waisa karm…
.

Maine apne shoes utare aur chair peeche khiska-kar dono pair computer wali desk par rakhkar aaram se baitha aur ek lambi saans lekar aankh band ki…waise toh maine ye sab kuch Rathi mam ke liye kiya tha lekin aankh band karne ke baad mera mann sirf Rathi mam ke cabin tak hee pahuch paya tha ki ekdum se mere imagination ka scene hee change ho gaya….jaise kisi androoni taqat ne mere mann ko Rathi mam ke cabin ke bahar se dhar dabocha aur le jakar kisi andheri jagah par patak diya ho…yani ki charo taraf sirf andhera hee andhera tha…koyi insaan nahi , koyi aawaz nahi…charo taraf ghanghor shanti…kya main so raha hoon ? lekin yadi main so chuka hoon toh ye kaise mumkin hai ki main khud se baat kar raha hoon…par ye toh koyi sapna bhi nahi hai…toh phhir asal me main aur mera mann hai kaha ? kahi main neend aur sapne ke beech wali awastha me toh nahi hoon…? Wait, ye aawaz kaisi hai…ye toh…ye toh….mere school ki prayer hai…toh kya main……………………………………………………………
.

“uth be ,so gaya tha kya prayer me….Arman, uth ja..wo dekh Bhaisa idhar hee raha hai…yadi usne prayer time me sote hue dekh liya to…tere pichhwade me seengh ghusa dega”

“Varun tu….”use school dress me dekhkar main chauka…

“aur nahi toh kya…Robert downey Jr. aakar tujhe uthayega…uth ja ab chal…”

“chal ab…ab chal…a bchal….abchal= 6 words yani inse 6! Words banaye ja sakte hai yani ki 720 words….Varun mujhe aisa kyun lag raha hai ki kisi subject ka test hai aaj…aaj test hone ki probability kya hai…?”

“zero bata sannata ”

Prayer khatm hone ke baad main…Varun ke sath kuch der School me idhar-udhar ghoomta raha …aur class teacher ke class me aane se pahle hum dono wapas aa gaye…

“Armaaaan…”

“present sir…”(kabhi toh actual name liya kar be Bulla…ladko ne tera name bhaisa sahi rakha hai…)

“wo dekh Reema…kitni achi lag rahi hai…”abhi attendance chal hee raha tha ki Varun apni adat anusar mujhse baat karne me lag gaya

“chal tujhe main kathin wale theorem explain kar deta hoon ,taki Reema se teri setting ho jaye...main pahle tujhe theorem samjha deta hoon jise tu dialogue bana kar ratt lena aur apne se koyi bhi…I repeat… apne se koyi bhi line mat add karna aur aakhiri me hence proved likhkar pen copy me halke se fekna, lekin pen copy se neeche nahi girna chahiye…I repeat ,pen copy ke neeche nahi girna chahiye warna ghamand wala expression hoga ….pen halke se copy par fekna..hmm… actually fekna mat…pen ko copy me rakhna aur jis side Reema hogi us side ungali se roll kar dena…roll matlab samajhta hai na…ye dekh aise…”apne pen ko desk par roll karke Varun ko dikhate hue main bola “toh ahiste se pen ko roll karna aur muskurate hue normal aawaz me Reema ki taraf dekhkar bolna ….Hence ( ½ second gap ) proved aur phhir waha se turant uthna aur meri taraf aana….turant uthna ,lekin aaram se uthna….hadbada kar nahi aur thank you…you’re so smart type ke words sunkar ansuna karna aur seedhe, bina peechhe mude meri taraf aana….chal ab bol ke dekha hence proved….”

“hence proved..”

“itni jaldi nahi…hence…half second gap….phhir proved….hence proved”

“hence proved…”

“exactly…”

“kaun nalayak peechhe se aawaz kar raha hai…khade ho ja…”humare class teacher shri…shriman Bulla ji ki moti aawaz class me gunj uthi…jise sunkar aadhe student toh aise hee has diye lekin main nahi hasa kyunki main…main toh uski nazar me is school ka sabse acha student tha….main toh apne school ka topper tha…toh phhir according to stupid teacher’s stupid logic…main toh halla kar hee nahi sakta tha….”

“Arman…kaun halla kar raha hai ,name batao toh…”mujhe khada karke Bulla ne pucha…

“sir , ye Varun…Varun halla kar raha hai…”bina ek pal gawaye main bola…

“sir ,Arman jhooth bol raha hai…maine halla nahi kiya…”seena taankar Varun bhi bina ek pal gawaye mere virodh me uth khada hua…

“chup kar nalayak…Arman jhooth thodi bolega ,wo toh school ka sabse acha ladka hai…chal bahar ja class se…”

“kya sir, aap bhi…”

“jaata hai ya main aaun…nalayak…disturb karta hain attendance lete time…”aur phhir meri taraf dekhkar Bulla ne pucha “aur kaun-kaun halla kar raha tha Arman…”

“sir…ye Reema aur uske baju me baithi hai jo isi saal aayi hai…kya name hai uska…. Shweta…haan…Shweta….wo bhi halla kar rahi thi…”

“Sirrrrr…”bijali ki bhati Shweta uthi aur meri taraf dekhkar boli “sir, ye ladka jhooth bol raha hai…”

“Shweta…tum toh padhne me achi ho phhir kyun baat kar rahi thi…aur Arman kabhi jhooth nahi bolta kyunki wo toh…”

“School ka sabse acha ladka hai…”Bulla ki praising lekin boring line ko complete karte hue main bola aur Shweta gusse se mujhe ghurte hue baith gayi...

raha sawal Reema ka toh wo pichhale do saal se mere sath padh rahi thi…isliye wo janti thi ki Bulla ko ullu banana meri aadat hai aur ladkiyo ko warning dekar chhod dena…Bulla ki aadat hai…isliye wo kabhi react nahi karti thi balki andar hee andar ise enjoy karti thi…jiske karan kabhi-kabhi mujhe lagta tha ki shayad wo mujhse man hee man me pyar karti hai….lekin Varun ke karan maine use chhod rakha tha kyunki mera ek siddhant tha ki dost ki bahan aur dost ki maal ko kabhi line nahi marni chahiye….yani ki Varun ki maal Reema mere liye Varun ki bahan ki tarah thi yani ki meri bhi bahan….and this is the first law of friendynamic…..proposed by Sir Arman”
.

School me meri bahut jyada hee dhak thi jiske kayi karan the…pahla karan ye tha ki main School ka topper tha…Literally . last year maine jo marks score school kiye the utne pure school me kisi ne nahi kiye the, upar se mere school me aaj tak ka highest marks ka jo record tha use bhi maine 0.40 % adhik lakar tod diya tha…ye hua pahla karan. Dusara karan ye tha ki main cricket me apne school se state level ke do players me se ek tha aur aage sirf isliye khelne nahi ja paya kyunki mere gharwalo ko laga ki khel me jyada dhyan dene ki vazah se mere marks Pandey ji ki beti se kam aa jayenge…teesara karan ye tha ki main apne school ka president tha…yeah , main president tha…chautha karan ye tha ki mere father mere school ke trustee me se ek the….pachwa karan ye tha ki main apne school se is saal bhi top marne wala tha aur sixth reason ye tha ki main…main tha. Isliye sare teachers mujhe jante bhi the aur mante bhi the…halaki main thoda ghamandi bhi tha jiske chalte ek-do teacher mujh napasand bhi karte the lekin apun ne kabhi iski parvaah nahi ki….
.


Next period me Varun ne mere bataye anusar wo theorem Reema ko explain kiya aur plan ke according hence proved bolkar meri taraf aane laga….

“mujhe dekh rahi hai kya be…”

“hao,chup chap aaja…peechhe mat mudna…tujhe hee dekh rahi hai…”

“lagta hai pat gayi bhai…thank you …kya batau ,tujhe ki kitna khush hoon…”

“soch ,jab sirf mere sath class me baitkar tu itne jhande gaad raha hai toh , yadi exam me mere aage ya peechhe hota toh…mera matlab tera name ‘A’ se hona chahiye tha…”

“lekin mujhe mera name pasand hai…VARUN….VARUN DEV…sakshat bhagwan ke darshan hote hai tujhe roj…aur ab is-se jyada kya chahiye tujhe…”

“mera matlab completely change mat kar…bas samne ka V hata de…Run suffix me rakhe rakh….ARUN….Arun…Varun…Arun….dekh kitna acha name hai….Arun-Arman….jodi bhi jam rahi hai….”

“prabhu mujhe kshama karo …main Varun hee thik hoon…”

“jaisi teri marji…mera kya ,main toh tere hee fayde ki baat kar raha tha….”
.

“sir…Arman sir….”

“kaun hai be…”gusse se daant pees kar main bola aur samne Sharda Vihar me kaam karne wale peon ko dekhkar main apna pura gussa pee gaya,kyunki kisi mahan vyakti ne kaha tha ki yadi kisi shaks ka kirdar janna ho toh ye dekho ki uska bartaav uske neeche ohade me kaam karne walo ke sath kaisa hai…jitna acha bartaav, utna acha wo insaan….

“sorry yar…kal Rathi mam ne itna kaam de diya tha ki raat bhar nahi so paya aur jab tune uthaya toh tujh par chilla utha…sorry”

“koyi baat nahi..”khush hokar usne kaha

“jyada khush mat ho, main sorry isiliye nahi bolta kyunki main apne kiye par sharminda hoon,balki isliye taaki samne wale ko aur sharminda kar saku…ja chay le ke aa…”

“coffee ya chay”

“bidu ,I’m an Engineer…Mechanical Engineer….mujhe chay aur cigarette ki aadat hai…par tune mujhe chay ke liye nahi uthaya…toh phhir kisliye uthaya”

“arey wo toh main batana hee bhool gaya….Vandana mam bula rahi hai…”

“iski to…chain se jeene nahi deti toh kam se kam chain se sone toh de….waise kyun bulaya hai…tujhe koyi idea hai kya…”

“no idea…”

“chal ja phhir…kaha acha khasa main Shweta se milne wala tha, isne utha diya…par manna padega , past ke ek-ek events ko exactly itne detail me yaad karna kitna shandar hai…par kahi ye koyi bimari toh nahi ? kya fark padta hai, kaun sa main kisi ko jaan se maar raha hoon…main toh bas apne hee past events ko realize kar raha hoon….”sochate hue main utha aur jamhayi + angadayi , simultaneously lete hue apni garden chatkayi….
.

“itni der…dus minuts ho gaye tumhe bulaye hue aur tum intercom ka phone kyun nahi utha rahe the…”mere andar ghuste hee Rathi baras padi, iske bawzood ki maine teen din ka kaam ek din me kar diya tha….Sali, randi….isiliye main logo se nafrat karta hoon….kyunki wo hai hee isi ke kabil…

“kal raat ko soya nahi toh…yaha office me aankh lag gayi thi…”

“ye…tumhare late aane ka excuse hai…”phhir se mujhpar cheekhte hue wo boli aur mera matha thanakne laga….wo toh main sokar utha tha isliye thoda shant tha warna abhi tak toh Rathi ko chod ke zameen par bichha diya hota ….par main abhi shant tha…matlab gussa toh mujhe aa raha tha, par main shant tha….

“excuse nahi,mam…ye sach hai…”jamhayi lete hue main bola 

Mera jawab sunkar Rathi mam ki jal gayi,wo mujhe pakka pel hee deti yadi main yaha ek engineer ki haisiyat se na hota toh….lekin wo aisa nahi kar saki aur table par rakhi do files ki taraf ishara karke boli….

“ye do files hai…inki report mujhe kal tak chahiye…”

“bas do…teen kar dijiye…teen kyun…char…abhi toh char ghante office me hee rahunga toh ek toh yahi complete kar dunga….”bolkar main muskura diya jis-se Rathi mam ke chehre ka rang thoda badalne laga ….

“nahi,bas do hee files hai…inhe complete kar dena”

“Madarchod…nahi, madarchod nahi….Madharchod….ye sahi rahega iske liye…thoda vazandar gali….lagta nahi ki main yaha jyada din tik paunga…ye chudail kha jayegi mujhe….BC kal puri raat nahi soya aur aaj bhi ab sona mushqil hai….mana ki main yugpurush hoon lekin lawda kya gand hee mar loge is yugpurush ki, jaga-jaga kar….waise bhi kam sone ki vazah se dimag mera hang marte rahta hai aur toh aur aaj Aradhna ki aawaz bhi sunayi di…yani ki aage bhi sunayi degi…upar se aaj main apne neend aur sapne ke beech me kahi phas gaya tha…wo toh bhala ho school life wale Varun ka jo usne mujhe kheechkar prayer hall me le gaya,warna mera coma me jana tay tha….khair isiliye toh main…main hoon…ek raat aur sahi…cigarette aur daru ke bharose toh main apni puri zindagi kaat doon …ye toh sirf ek raat katne ki baat hai…par kuch bhi ho, Rathi hai badi Madarchad…madarchod nahi…Madharchod….”

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Chapter-7 : Hallucination or Reality
“oh hello…kaha kho gaye…”

“kahi nahi mam,bas aaj kal mera brain ,hang mar deta hai…kahi bhi…..aisa pahle bhi hota tha…lekin aajkal kuch jyada hee ho raha hai…khair, koyi baat nahi…kal tak ye files bhi complete ho jayegi”

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Jab aap do raat soye nahi hote hai toh kaisa mahsoos hota hai ye bayan karna thoda mushqil hai…kyunki BC, kuch sahi se mahsoos hee nahi hota….halki si bhi aawaz room me hone par wo bahut der tak kaan me gunjati rahti hai aur aapka dimag us aawaz ki nakal karta rahta hai,jab tak ki usko koyi dusara kaam nahi mil jata….lagatar do raat tak jagne ka jo ek nuksan hai usme se ek ye bhi ki chizo ko mahsoos karne ki aapki Shakti kam ho jati hai….jaisa ki abhi mere sath ho raha tha….room ka fan on tha,lekin phhir bhi mujhe uski hawa mahsoos nahi ho rahi thi…main har panch-dus minutes ke baad apna sar pakad kar dabata…khujata aur phhir kaam par lag jata….beech-beech me mujhe kayi aawaze bhi sunayi deti…jinme se kuch aawazo ko toh main pahchanta tha par kuch ko nahi…mujhe kabhi auto ki aawaz sunayi deti toh kabhi train ki….jabki in dono se main is samay kafi door tha…mujhe aisa lagta ki Varun jag raha hai aur chadar oodhe mujhe ektak nihare ja raha hai…lekin jab main uski taraf dekhta toh bistar par wo mujhe sote hue hee milta tha….mujhe kuch pal ke liye aisa lagta… jaise ki bahar bahut tez aandhi chal rahi hai toh kuch pal aisa lagta jaise ki dharti hil rahi hai….kabhi mujhe kitchen me mere aur Varun ke aalawa kisi teesare ke hone ka ahsaas hota toh kabhi kitchen me bartan ke girne ki aawaz sunayi deti….mujhe aisa bhi lagta jaise ki is ghupp andhere me koyi balcony ke khule darwaje se mujhe jhak raha hai aur bas mere sone ka intezaar kar raha hai….par main janta tha ki ye sab sirf ek vaham hai, mere dimag ka vaham…asliyat me toh abhi room ka fan on hai aur is flat me mere aur Varun ke aalawa teesara koyi nahi hai….ek taraf mere dimag ne jaha mere andar dar paida kiya tha wahi dusari taraf mere dimag ne hee us dar se samna karne ki taqat mujhe di thi….kahne ka matlab hai ki main dar toh raha tha lekin itna nahi ki phati me balcony aur kitchen ka darwaja band karke chup chap so jaun…warna mere fans kya sochenge….wo toh jeete-jee mar jayenge mujhe is kadar dara hua dekhkar….yahi sochate hue maine apne laptop ko thoda kinare kiya aur aankh band karke apna sar dabane laga…ki kisi ke sparsh se mera pura rom-rom kanp utha…mujhe aisi kapkapi hui ki bas pucho mat… jisne bhi mere jaangh par hath rakha tha uska dar ab mere andar sama chuka tha….mujhe aisa lag raha tha jaise ki wo bas mere aankh khulne ka intezar kar raha hai aur mere aankh kholte hee kuch aisa karega jiski maine kalpana tak nahi ki hogi….isiliye maine apni aankh nahi kholi aur waise hee ankh band kiye hue leta raha….
Jisne kuch der pahle mujhe sparsh kiya tha ,wo ab ungaliyo se mere jaangh me taal de raha tha aur har guzarte waqt ke sath mere dil ki dhadkane tez hoti ja rahi thi…


“Arman, ye sab ek vaham hai…tere dimag ki mangadhat kahani…haqiqat me yaha tere aur Varun ke siwa koyi nahi hai…”ye sochate hue maine apni aankh kholne ka nirnay liya 

main hundred percent sure tha ki jab main apni ankhe kholunga toh samne koyi nahi hoga…Yahi sochate hue maine apni aankh ek jhatke me kholi par main galat tha… mujhe mere samne kisi ka chehra dikha jo apni aankhe badi kiye hue mujhe ghoor raha tha …maine bina ek pal gawaye apna pura jor lagakar use peeche dhakka diya aur uthkar kaske ek laat uski chhati par mari….iske baad main use marta hee gaya ,bas marta hee gaya….lekin wo na toh mera virodh kar raha tha aur na hee mujhse bachne ki koshish kar raha tha…wo toh bas apna daant fadkar mar khate hue hase ja raha tha….

“kaun hai…madarchod tu…bol…kaun hai …”uske muh pe laat marker maine puchha aur jab usne koyi jawab nahi diya toh use phhir se marne laga…
Ye silsila kafi der tak chalta raha…main use marta aur beech-beech me sawal bhi karta ,lekin usne koyi jawab nahi diya…uske muh aur naak se khoon nikalkar floor par bah raha tha lekin wo tha ki bas haste hue maar khaye ja raha tha aur jab main use maar-maar kar thak gaya toh wo utha aur balcony ki taraf badha….main use aur bhi marna chahta tha…main use jaan se marna chahta tha lekin ab mujhme itni bhi taqat nahi thi ki main kuch bol bhi paun…yaha tak ki mujhe saans lene me bhi dikkat ho rahi thi isliye puri tarah thak kar main bistar par gir pada aur thodi der baad jab mujhme kuch himmat aayi toh mujhe kuch shabd sunayi diye….

“main phhir aaunga….”

Maine apni puri taqat laga di khud ko uthane ke liye aur jaise hee wo balcony se kuda main bhi uthkar uske peeche balcony se kood gaya…

“bhagta kaha hai lawde, rook…teri maa ka…”bolte hue maine use pakda 

Lekin abki baar wo mujhse chhoot gaya aur boundary se chhalang markar Colony ke sadak par bhagne laga…is samay raat ke do ya teen baje the…jiske karan is samay full shanti thi…aisa lag hee nahi raha tha ki ye koyi colony hai yani ghanghor shanti...bhagte hue kayi baar main uske karib pahucha…lekin jaise hee main use pakadne ki koshish karta wo apni speed aur tez kar deta….jiske karan mera gussa aur meri raftaar dono lagatar badh rahi thi….par yaha sochane wali baat ye hai ki main aisa kar kyun raha tha jabki mujhe maloom tha ki wo sirf aur sirf mere dimag ki ek upaj hai aur tab daudte waqt mujhe realize hua ki main toh aisa bilkul bhi nahi karna chahta…wo toh bas apne aap hee ho raha hai…jaise ki kisi ne mujhe command de di ho ki Arman tujhe bas bhagna hai….maine khud ko rokna chaha lekin mere kadam ruk hee nahi rahe the,main toh bas uske peechhe-peechhe andha-dhundh bhage ja raha tha….duadte-daudte main colony se bahar nikal aaya aur ab bhi main us anjaan shaks ka peecha karte hue daud raha tha….


“main rook kyun nahi raha…ye ho kya raha hai…”daudte hue main jor se cheekha aur khud ko rokne ki tarqeeb sochane laga ki mujhe samne ek ped dikhayi diya…

“Arman…rukne ka sirf ek hee tarika hai…samne wale ped ke paas jab pahuchega toh us-se takra jana…isase chot toh aayegi ,par atleast tu ruk toh jayega…ok, done phhir….”

Aur isi ke sath meri ped ke sath jabardast takkar hui.Ped toh ek inch bhi nahi hila par main takra kar kayi meter door ja gira aur jo shabd mere muh se nikla wo tha “behanchod” 

iske baad maine na koyi aawaz nikali aur na hee koyi pratikriya di….kyunki main ab iske kabil hee nahi tha….mujhe aisa lag raha tha ki ped se takrane ke karan shayad mera left wala kandha toot gaya hai lekin phhir bhi main shant wahi zameen par pada raha aur kuch der baad wahi so gaya…..


.
Subah meri neend surya ki kirno ke mere aankh ke sath hue collision ke karan khuli aur maine wahi zameen par pade-pade apne aas-paas ke mahol ka jayja liya….

“National Highway 6(NH 6)…jo Gujarat… Maharashtra… Chhattisgarh… odisha… Jharkhand aur Kolkata ko jodti hai, is samay din ke 7 baje honge…aasman khula hai ,isliye barish hone ki sambhavna na ke barabar hai….temperature 26 degree hai aur sadak ke dono taraf ped lage hue hai jiske karan thandi-thandi hawa bhi chal rahi hai….great ”kahte hue maine apna baya kandha sahlaya…. “not bad…bas dard hee hai, haddi sahi *****at hai….”

Apne kandhe ko sahlate hue main utha aur jeb se cigarette nikal kar rajnikant style me muh ke taraf feka lekin mera nishana chuk gaya aur cigarette mere chehre se takra kar neeche zameen me gir gaya

“main aaj bhi feke hue cigarette nahi uthata ….hhayi…”neeche gire cigarette ko dekhkar maine khud se kaha…isi beech mera hath mere pant ki jeb me rakhe mere goggle par gaya aur mujhe maloom chala ki baye kandhe ke sahare ped se takrane ke karan goggle ke ek taraf ka kanch toot gaya tha….maine ek aur cigarette jalakar ek lamba kash kheecha aur toota hua goggle pahankar dhua udate hue River View Colony ki taraf chal pada….

Room me Varun ab tak so raha tha aur use sota hua dekh mera mann kiya ki uske pichhwade me ek kaskar laat maru…lekin phhir socha ki jane do yar…mujhe neend nahi aati iska matlab ye thode hee hai ki main dusaro ko bhi na sone du….:khushnaseeb hai wo log jinhe chain ki neend aati hai yaha toh BC aankh bhi band karo toh bhoot nazar aate hai:
.

“tu kitne din se nahi nahaya be….”Bathroom se nahakar nikalte waqt Varun ne pucha aur maine use completely ignore maar diya…matlab na toh uske sawal ka jawab diya aur na hee uski taraf dekha….main toh is waqt Rathi mam ki di hui do files ko complete karke facebook chala raha tha….

“tu fb bhi use karta hai…meri photo like kar dena phhir… jo kal maine Sonam ke sath mall me kheechi thi aur mann kare toh sweetest couple type ke kuch comment bhi kar dena…”

“done…”

“waise tu fb kyun chala raha hai…”

“ab lawda sab tumko bata du…”

“bata na bhai…”

“ajeeb jabarjasti hai…chal na, tera photo like kar dunga aur sweetest couple wala comment bhi thok dunga…”

“ye kaun hai…jiski tune profile khol rakhi hai…”

“ye aaya na tu point par….ye Rathi mam hai, Sharda Enterprises ke Nagpur branch ki manager….soch raha hu friend request bhej du…lekin Sali ne ignore kar diya toh bezzati ho jayegi…waise tana tann maal hai na…”

“hmmm…shadi ho gayi iski…”

“pata nahi…”

“name ke aage kya likhati hai…Miss ya Mrs.”

“Ms. ”

“dhat teri ki…”bolkar Varun mere paas se door chala gaya
tabhi mera mobile bajne laga….maine dekha call Nisha ki thi aur mere receive karte hee wo boli….

“ye kaise dialer tone hai….Rishte me toh hum tumhare baap lagte hai, name hai Arman….Amitabh Bachchan ke bade wale fan ho kya…”

“ringtone ho toh Shri Arman ke jaise,warna na ho…”BigB ka ek aur dialogue chipkate hue maine kaha “toh finally tumhe meri yaad aa hee gayi, do din baad…”

“toh tumne kyun phone nahi kiya…kya ye kahi ka rule hai ki main hee har baar phone karu…bhagwan ne tumhe bhi mobile diya hai, number dial karne ke liye hath diya hai aur abki baar toh maine soch liya tha ki main na toh tumse milungi aur na hee tumhe pahle se call karungi…but I lost once again…”

“so…”

“wo actually, main aur Varun aur Shipra aur Sonam….David ke sath sham ko dinner par ja rahe hai…toh socha ki tum bhi aana chaho…”

“main ye sab ochhe kaam nahi karta”

“please aa jao na…I love you..love you..love you”

“thik hai…venue sms kar dena…mood hoga toh aa jaunga,lekin phhir yadi mere se kuch ulta seedha ho gaya toh mujhe blame mat karna…aajkal mere andar koyi naya virus ghus gaya hai,jiska antivirus dhoondane me mujhe time lagega…”

“don’t worry, main tumhe sambhal lungi…ok bye and thank you…love you…”

“fuck you…”mobile bistar par fek-kar main bola “ye mujhe sambhal legi…huh…yaha main hee khud ko nahi sambhal pa raha hoon aur ye kahti hai ki ye mujhe sambhal legi aur BC ye kya chutiyapa laga rakha hai is David ne…lawde ko lund pakdana hee padega…jab se shahar me aaya hai, Nisha ko mujhse door kiye hue hai….rook beta tu aaj sham ko mil …itna chodunga ki body se paseena nahi balki khoon niklega…”

“kya boli Nisha…”Varun ne puchha

“acha toh tum bhi shamil ho…darasal ye tera hee plan raha hoga mujhe bahar le jane ka…tune socha hoga ki tere bolne se toh main jaunga nahi toh tune Nisha ko patti padha di…aur toh aur us popcorn killer Shipra aur Jhatu David ko bhi shamil kar liya…ye jante hue bhi ki mujhe naye logo ke contact me rahna bilkul bhi pasand nahi…”

“Shipra se toh tu mil chukka hai aur rahi baat David ki toh actually kal raat ko M.B.D. restaurant me meri aur Sonam ki mulaqat David se hui thi…wahi Sonam ne mujhe David ka introduction Nisha ke childhood friend ke taur par karaya…hum teeno phhir kafi der tak MBD Restaurant me baithkar idhar-udhar ki baate karte rahe….tabhi usne mujhe aaj ke dinner ke liye invite kiya toh main mana nahi kar paya…”

“toh phhir mujhe isme kyun shamil kiya…”

“Nisha ke kahne par…Nisha ne mujhe phone kiya tha ki main tujhe kah du…lekin main janta tha ki tu meri baat manega nahi, isliye maine ye kaam Nisha ko hee saunp diya…”

“aur ye bhi bata diya ki mujhe razi kaise karna hai….wah, badi achi dosti nibhayi tune”

“haan toh isme galat kya hai…tujhe problem kya hai Shipra aur David se….David ko toh tu janta bhi nahi…”

“asal me mujhe problem Shipra ya David se nahi balki…balki naye logo se milne me hai…mera matlab kaise log in bade-bade hotel me baithkar badi-badi baate karte hai…bewazah ek dusaro ko advice dete hai…kisi teesare ki peeth peeche burayi karte ya politics ka adhura gyan chodte hai….isme se kuch do kaudi ke log bhi hote hai jo bharat ke itihas ki charcha karte hai aur Mahatma Gandhi ko ulta seedha bolkar ye dikhate hai ki wo kitne joshile hai…kitni aag hai unke andar aur yadi paas me koyi unke aukat ka ya unse adhik aukat wala kuch galat kare toh unme ratti bhar bhi himat nahi hoti ki wo use jakar roke….dar-asal ye log jo ache ,sabhya hone ka dhong karte hai…wo isliye nahi ki kyunki wo aisa karna chahte hai balki isliye kyunki ye sab karne ka unke paas paisa aur power hai…lekin main aisa nahi hoon…main har situation…har temperature…har pressure par constant rahta hoon….na toh main change hota hoon aur na hee meri values….baki sab sale variable hai…. Upar se main thahra Mechanical department se …mujhe ghutan hoti hai itni sari ladkiyo ke beech aur jab wo apna muh pout karke selfie leti hai toh mera mann karta hai ki unke muh me mukka maar du…aur toh aur unke sath BC unke sath wale ladke bhi aise gand ke chhed jaisi shakl banakar photo khichwate hai , in short ….i Hate everyone….i…..i….just….hate…..everyone….”
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Mujhe nahi pata par Kya kisi ne kabhi gaur kiya hai ki kya matlab hota hai “GANDU” aur “GAND” jaise sabhya…susheel shabdo ka ? Gandu ko hatao….Gand par concentrate karte hai…what is its actual meaning….maine bahut sari adult stories me dekha hai ki kayi bar log is shabd ka kuch is tarah istemaal karte hai,jaise ki “main uske gand ko kaskar masalne laga….uska gand mere gand se touch ho raha tha….maine uske gand me lund dal diya jisase wo cheekh uthi…”
Darasal main puchhna ye chah raha hoon ki gand ka asali matlab kya hota hai…pichhwada ya phhir pichhwade ke beech ka…………………..hm-uh……you got it…I know you got it. Par main ek Yugpurush hokar ye sab kyun soch raha hoon…mana ki mujhe hardcore anal sex ka video dekhna pasand hai lekin aisi baate publicy karna ,kya ye mere jaise mahan insaan ko shobha deta hai ? nahi ? darasal baat ye thi ki maine abhi-abhi Ms.Rathi ka pichhwada dekha tha aur confuse ho gaya ki uske us portion ko gand bolu ya nahi….bas isiliye,baki toh main bedam sharif hoon 

“excellent…Arman…you’re too good… actually you’re …”

“fantabulous…?”Rathi mam ko word suggest karte hue main apna kaan khujane laga….

“hmmmm….yes…mujhe toh laga hee nahi tha ki tum ek din pura nahi sone ke bawzood dusare din bhi apna kaam khatm kar loge…you’re amazing”

“bas mam ”

“today you’re free….jo karna hai karo…jago ya so jao…mujhe koyi matlab nahi…bas kisi se complain nahi aani chahiye….baki jo karna hai karo…”

“chudai karu teri…”Rathi mam ko dekhkar maine man hee man me kaha aur ek taraf ishara karte hue puchha ki wo jo us side world cup jaisa kuch rakha hai ,wo unhe kyun mila tha….

“acha wo…wo toh mujhe promotion ke samay mila tha jab main senior executive se Manager bani thi tab….you wanna see it”

“why not”

Aur isi ke sath Rathi mam apne ghumaudar chair se uthi aur us cup ki taraf jaane lagi jispar main mootu tak na…wo toh apun ko Rathi ki gand dekhni thi isiliye maine us-se us world cup ke bare me pucha tha….Rathi mam ke pichhwade ko bade gaur se dekhte hue maine khud se kaha “chal beta, aaj raat ke mutth marne ka jugad ho gaya…”

“acha hai…kitna bada aur mota hai….aur beech me chhed bhi hai ”Rathi mam ke gand aur cup ko ek sath mix karke maine kaha…

“aisi bhi koyi taarif karta hai..kya ? mota hai , bada hai aur beech me chhed bhi hai ”thoda hairan hote hue wo boli “Arman mere kal ke behavior ke liye…sorry ,thoda personal problem tha…jiski vazah se main thoda gusse me thi….tumne bura toh nahi mana na…”

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Aur tabhich mere Arman Version 2.0 ne mujhe aadesh diya ki main Rathi mam se cheekh-cheekh kar bolu ki “janeman…bura wo manta hai…jiske paas bur hota hai aur mere paas toh lawda hai…main bura nahi manta balki bur fad deta hoon…” lekin maine khud pe control kiya aur Rathi mam ki baat dhyan lagakar sun-ne laga taki jab main apne mann me isko chodte waqt apna lawda iske muh me dalu toh main iske muh aur daant ka actual size aur shape soch saku….

“tumne dil pe le liya kya….”

“abey ye toh mera dialogue tha…”chaukte hue maine ek baar phhir khud ko control kiya aur shant baitha raha…

“ok…Arman…thank you…”

“actually mam ,you like my simplicity….i mean I like your simplicity….thank you”kahte hue main utha aur Rathi mam ke cabin se bahar aa gaya.

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Aaj ka din mere liye thoda acha tha,kyunki aaj Rathi janeman ne kuch bhi kaam mujhe nahi diya tha…na hee koyi officework aur na hee koyi homework…jisase maine ye socha ki mujhe Nisha aur uske dosto ke sath dinner par jana chahiye….warna mere fans kahenge ki Shri Arman ki social life zero hai….mujhe aaj office me koyi kaam nahi tha isliye main aaj ek ghante pahle hee bina kisi ko bataye Sharda Vihar se nikal gaya....

“kidhar jaoge”Sharda Complex ke bahar mujhe khada dekh ek autowale ne pucha…

“tum kidhar jaoge…”

“apun toh kidhar bhi chale jayega,yadi sawari ho toh…”

“Ganga-jamuna chalega kya…”

“par waha ka double charge lagega…police ka lafda hota hai udhar”

((Ganga-Jamuna is the third largest red-light area{brothel} of India,located in Nagpur))

“kitna lega…”

“waise toh 200 rupaye per candidate leta hai apun ladko ko us chakle me chhodne ke liye lekin aap single ho isliye 300 rupiya lega…”

“kaha lega….muh me…? itna rate toh waha ke chakle ki chakliyo ka bhi nahi hai….”

“bade…risk bhi toh apun ko jyada hai…kisi ne dalal samajh ke dhar liya toh panch-dus hazar gaye jeb se…”

“aisa kya…chal phhir nahi jata….tum bhi kya yaad rakhega ki kis…..oye auto….”bagal se guzarte hue auto ko aawaz dene ke chakkar me maine apna dialogue adhura chhoda aur jo autowala mere paas khada tha us-se bola”chal thik hai bidu…apun chalta hai…par ek din tere khatir zaroor jaunga us red right area me matlab…red light area me....kya bolta hai tu use…”

“chakla…”

“haan….. us chakle me zaroor jaunga main….”
.

Jab main auto me baitha toh main akela tha…lekin bahut der ke liye nahi aur jald hee agle chauk se auto me do aur logo ka aagman hua…jisme se ek ladki thi aur ek uska boyfriend….aisa maine socha…waise toh wo dono bhai-bahan bhi ho sakte the…ya jija-Sali…ya devar-bhabhi bhi…lekin maine unhe girlfriend aur boyfriend hee samjha kyunki iski probability jyada thi. Auto me ladka mere bagal me baitha aur ladki ko usne apne bagal me baithaya…jise dekhkar mera mann kiya ki launde ke muh me thook du,lekin phhir maine aisa nahi kiya aur chupchap earphone laga kar gana sunne laga lekin thodi der baad hee Vandana Rathi phone ke through mujhe disturb karne aa gayi….

“Ye BC Rathi…na toh mujhe chain se jeene deti hai…na chain se sone deti hai aur ab toh BC mujhe chain se gaana bhi sunne nahi de rahi rahi…kya karu…mar jaun kya ab…ye lawda private naukri hoti hee aisi hai….bhad me gayi ….MC”aur isi ke sath maine ungali swipe karke mam ko red wale option par lejakar apne mobile se bahar kar diya…..

Auto me aaj kuch interesting nahi hua aur ek baar toh mujhe auto wale ne aage baithne ke liye bhi kaha…jiske liye maine shuru me toh saaf mana kar diya lekin phhir uske request ke karan main maan gaya…

“change mangta apun ko bidu. Sau ki patti toh apun ke paas bhi hai…”

“toh apne us sau ki patti ki batti bana aur daal le….andar”

“change nahi hai bhai….”accelerator ko ghumate hue wo bola….

“chal phhir kal le lena…”

“rook, apun jugad karta hai kuch….” wo auto wala peechhe muda aur baki logo se 
kiraya collect karke mujhe dete hue bola “ye le bidu….tere 70 …”

“thik hai…”

“ok…thank you bidu…”

“sala…chaklabaz”jeb me paise rakhne ke baad maine auto wale ki taraf dekhkar kaha lekin shayad usne dhyan se suna nahi aur kuch reply diye bina hee waha se chala gaya
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River View colony ki taraf chalte hue maine apna mobile nikala aur whatsapp se jo gandi-gandi photos aur videos download hui thi unhe dekhne laga…. River View colony ,NH-6 ke thik bagal se laga hua tha lekin mujhe NH-6 se wo 200-250 meters ka rasta bahut akharta tha…mere mann me khayal bhi aaya tha ki main bike se Sharda Vihar aaun-jaun lekin meri tharak ne mere is khayal ko darashahi kar diya…. isliye main office se aate waqt pure raste kuch na kuch karte rahta tha….abhi main River View Colony ki taraf aate hue ek video hee dekh raha tha ki ek safed color ki Mercedes mere bagal se sansanate hui nikli aur phhir thoda aage jakar ruk gayi….lekin mera dhyan ab bhi mobile par tha….main is waqt mobile me ek desi hot video dekh raha tha aur wo video dekhne me main itna busy tha ki mujhe abhi mere aas-paas ho rahi ghatnao ki koyi jaankari nahi thi…bole toh ,Arjun drishti aur meri arjun drishti tab tak kayam rahi jab tak ki main khud us Mercedes ke pichhwade se nahi takra gaya….

.
“bc…kaise beech raste me car khadi kar rakhi hai…”car ke pichhwade se hui meri takkar ke baad sambhal kar khade hote hue main cheekha aur video ko wahi se chalu kiya jaha se mercedes ke sath collision ke karan main dekh nahi paya tha….

“kya chutiyapa kar raha hai lawda…chod na…BC…. ek toh camera jhat jagah set kiya hua hai…upar se sirf doodh dabaye ja raha hai.. chhote log abey,lawda chusa lawdi ko…”

“Arman….”

“ye kaun bola be…”aaju-baju nazar marker main dheere se bola aur jab mujhe koyi nahi dikha toh maine socha ki ye mera bhram hai….isliye apna lawda khujate hue aage badh gaya.

“Armaaaan….”abki baar thodi tez aawaz me kisi ne mera name pukara….

“Aradhna…? Lekin uski aawaz toh aisi nahi hai….phhir kaun sa naya character mere dimag me ghus gaya hai…ek toh lawda waise hee kal raat wala launda ,jise maine khoob mara…wo bolkar gaya hai ki wo phhir aayega…upar se Aradhna ki aawaz bhi mujhe aajkal sunayi dene lagi hai….uspar ab teesara kaun aa gayi….teesara matlab teesari…. matlab abki baar wali aawaz ek ladki ki thi aur yadi mera sixth sense sahi hai toh….BC kya khak sahi hai…din bhar uzool-fizool ki chize dikhate rahta hai….”

“Armaaaaaaaaan..”thoda aur intensity ke sath ye aawaz phhir mere kano me gunji…

.
Aur tab mujhe ahsaas hua ki ye aawaz na toh mere aaju se aa rahi hai… na toh baju se… aur na hee mere aage se….. darasal ye aawaz mere peechhe se aa rahi thi aur jab mujhe iska ahsaas hua toh main peeche palta

“iski maa ka ….Rathi Lund….ye yaha kya kar rahi hai…kahi ye mere 1400 gm ke dimag ki koyi ghinauni kartoot toh nahi…ya ye sach me yaha hai…let me think…Rathi mam ne mujhe teen baar bulaya aur teeno baar unki aawaz gradually badhi hui thi yani ki jab unhone second time mera name liya toh pahli baar se aawaz jyada tej thi aur jab teesari baar mera name liya toh pahle ke dono baar se jyada tej thi…yani ki normal human behaviour ?….wo mere taraf abhi thoda gusse se dekh rahi hai…ye bhi normal human behaviour ?…lekin jo sochane wali baat hai wo ye ki….ye is samay yaha kya kar rahi hai….ye toh meri fan bhi nahi hai…isliye yaha par mamla gadbadata hai…yani ki ye sirf meri thinking hai….actual me Rathi mam yaha hai hee nahi….toh kya karu…jaun uske paas ya yahi khade rahu….”
Main abhi isi soch me dooba hua tha ki Rathi mam ne mujhe apni taraf na aata dekh car start ki aur meri taraf aane lagi….aur main ab bhi isi confusion me tha ki Rathi mam yaha par haqiqat me hai ya ye sirf mera ek vaham hai….

“tumhe sunayi nahi deta …bahre ho gaye ho kya…kab se aawaz de rahi hoon…”mere thik bagal me car rok kar Rathi mam boli….

“dress toh wahi hai subah wali…toh kya ye sach me yaha hai…ek kaam karta hoon…chhu kar dekhta hoon…lekin kal raat jab main use maar raha tha tab bhi toh main use chhu hee raha tha…yani ki iski koyi guarantee nahi hai ki touch wali feeling se meri is samsya ka solution nikal jayega…lekin phhir bhi ek baar touch kar hee leta hoon… ”

maine car ke window par rakhe Rathi mam ke hath ko ek baar dheere se chhua aur jhatke se turant hata liya…. “real lag reli hai…” bolte hue maine dusari baar ahiste se Rathi mam ke hath ko chhua aur confirm karne ke liye teesari baar Rathi mam ke hath ko touch karke sahlane laga…

“tum ye kar kya rahe ho..tumhara dimag toh sahi hai na…”

“yes……..i mean, no….yes….actually main check kar raha tha ki aap haqiqat me ho ya ye sirf mera……you know”

“fallacy…”

“hmmm”

“tum psycho ho kya…”

“use hatao…aur mujhe batao ki yadi aap real ho toh aap yaha kya kar reli ho…”

“kar reli….”haste hue Rathi mam boli…

“ye le…iska toh itne me hee gand fat gaya…iska tab kya hoga jab main lambe-lambe dialogue marunga…tab toh has-has ke iske gand se pani nikal jayega…mera matlab choot se pani nikal jayega”

“tumne kuch kaha kya…tumhare honth silent mode me fadfada rahe hai…”

“mera lund ,jyada fadfada raha hai…”silent mode me hee apne honth fadfadate hue maine kaha…

“again…”

“aapne mere sawal ka jawab nahi diya ki aap yaha mere peechhe kyun aayi hai…”

“oh hello, main tumhare peeche nahi aayi hoon, River View Colony me mera flat hai, E-5 aur mujhe maloom hai ki tum yahi rahte ho….A-3 flat me….”

“ab fas gayi na,janeman…..tum haqiqat me nahi ho…ha…ha…ha…”daant fad ke haste hue main bola ,jiske baad Rathi mam bhi hasne lagi….lekin phhir haste hue achanak wo ruk gayi…

“ek minute….abhi kya bola tumne mujhe….”chehre ka rang laal karte hue usne meri taraf dekha

“chal na…jab tu yaha hai hee nahi toh main tujhse kyun daru…mere khud ke dimag me itna bhav kha rahi hai…chal nikal…”

“tumhari himmat kaise hui…”

“nahi toh kya karegi…ek-do files aur de degi….huh…Shri Arman ke liye wo punishment nahi balki baye hath ka khel hai….tu apne real version me sochati hogi ki tu dhada dhad files mujhe dekar mujhe pareshan kar rahi hai…bitch please....yadi dena hai toh 7-8 files de…ye teen-char files toh main mutth marte hue complete kar deta hoon….aur aise kya dekh rahi hai, maregi kya mujhe…le maar…ye tera office nahi hai jaha tu mujhpar raub jhadegi…ek ulte hath ki padegi na toh……...khair chhod”bolte hue maine apna wahi ek side se toota hua goggle lagaya aur phhir cigarette jalate hue bola “ab mujhe kya jhak reli hai…chal khisak le dabi me…”

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Itna bolkar main waha se jaane laga lekin mujhe andar hee andar mahsoos hua ki maine Vandana Rathi ki insult karne me apna sau pratishat nahi diya hai, isliye main wapas Vandana Rathi ke paas jakar ek lamba kash kheencha aur dhua Vandana Rathi ke muh par fek kar bola “tu abhi tak idharich hai…chup chap nikal le…warna ek mukka marunga na toh ek mahine tak dard dega….”
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Chapter-8 : The Dinner
Girlfriend- ye ek hee word kafi hai un logo ko jalane ke liye ,jinke paas ye nahi hoti aur ye ek hee word kafi hai un logo ko dilasa dene ke liye jo iske chakkar me chutiya bane hai…ab log kahenge ki Shri Arman ,ladkiyo ki izzat nahi karta….Shri Arman , sexist hai…. toh mera logo se kahna hai ki…haan ,hoon main sexist .jo ukhadna hai ukhad lo….i see women as sexual objects….koyi pyar nahi…koyi chutiyapa nahi….sirf chudai…actually main kahna ye chahta hoon ki zindagi kitni simple hai lekin hum ise pyar ke chutiyape me padkar complicated bana dete hai…dusare shabdo me……zindagi kitni simple hoti yadi hum pyar ke chutiyape me nahi padte toh….aur isi karan main Nisha ko jhel raha tha…warna kab ka Aradhna ki tarah nikal kar fek diya hota….

Lekin Nisha ko jhelne ki sirf yahi vazah nahi thi…dar-asal kabhi-kabhi wo mujhe achchhi lagti thi.isiliye main use abhi tak apni girlfriend banaye hue tha….lekin mujhe ye bilkul pasand nahi ki main apni girlfriend ke liye dikhawe ki zindai jiyu….matlab un jagah par jaana jaha main jana nahi chahta…us tarike se jeena jaise main jeena nahi chahta…wo sab movie actual me dekhna jise dekhne ki kalpana shayad main sapne me bhi na karoon….. yahi vazah hai ki main aur Nisha aajkal jyada nahi milte….jaha ektaraf main usase pareshan hoon toh dusari taraf wo mujhse…lekin phhir bhi hum dono aise dikhate hai jaise ki hum kitne khush hai….mujhe yaad nahi ki Nisha ne last time mere sath coffee kab pee thi….shuru-shuru me toh mujhe laga ki ye sab uske naraz rahne ke karan ho raha hai…lekin jab us din usne M.B.D. restaurant me mere sath jane ke bajay David ke sath film dekhne jane ka decision liya tab mujhe thoda shaq hua aur maine Nisha ke bartaav me aaye parivartan ko gaur karne laga aur tab main is conclusion par pahucha ki hum dono ki relgadi ab kisi bhi samay patri se utar sakti hai aur ho na ho….is kaam me uska dost David zaroor humari relgadi ko patri se neeche dhakka dene ka kaam karega….main sab janta tha, main wo sab kuch mahsoos kar sakta tha jo ki Nisha mere bare me aajkal sochati hai…lekin main phhir bhi kuch nahi kar raha tha aur kyun nahi kar raha tha….kyunki ye sab mujhe bahut boring lagta hai…yani ki mujhe pasand nahi hai…..khair is waqt Varun mere samne badhiya suit pahan raha hai aur main is samay bhi yahi soch raha hoon ki ….main dinner par jaun ya nahi…

“chal na taiyar ho…”

“Nisha ko bol dena ki mujhe thoda kaam aa gaya tha office me…isliye main nahi aa paya…”

“itna simple bahana…wo bhi Shri Arman ke case me…maza nahi aaya….chal jaldi se taiyar ho aur by the way main koyi jhooth nahi bolne wala…”

“toh thik hai…main bol deta hoon…”

“sale sharam kar…wo nahi hoti toh devdas banker sadak par ghoom raha hota Disha ki yaad me…”

“Esha ”

“haan,wahi…Esha ki yaad me…aur tu uske liye uske dost ke sath dinner me nahi ja sakta…jaha main khud bhi hoon tere sath…”

.
Aur tab suddenly mujhe realize hua ki kis halat me main Nagpur aaya tha…jaise mera koyi wazood hee na ho…log mere aas-paas se guzarte toh the lekin mujh par unka koyi effect nahi dikhta tha…main jaha ek baar baith gaya toh ghanto wahi baitha rahta aur pura din sirf apne ateet ke uljhano me khoya rahta tha….mere college ke aakhiri din main muskurane ki acting kar raha tha aur aise behave kar raha tha jaise ki mujhe koyi fark hee nahi padta…lekin fark pada tha…jisme Esha aur Gautam ne milkar char-chand laga diye the….seriously I miss Rajshri Pandey, hostel…my friends….fights between hostlers and other college students…. Esha…. Anchoring…. aur tabhi mujhe S.P. yaad aaya aur uske sath me Aradhna aur wo sab kuch jo maine Aradhna ke sath jeete hue kiya aur wo sab kuch jo uske marne ke baad mere sath hua….maine phhir bhi khud ko sambhala aur final semester ka exam diya aur chahta tha ki Esha mere sath rahe…lekin aakhiri exam ke din usne bhi…………..leave it.

.
aksar mere man me ye khayal aata hai ki bhagwan kyun mujhe wo sab kuch nahi de deta jo main chahta hoon…jise paane ke liye maine mehnat ki…jiske liye main tadpa aur phhir main un logo ko dekhta hoon jinke paas wo hai aur tab main samajh jata hoon ki wo log…wo chize jinhe main pana chahta tha…wo mere layak hee nahi thi…

.
“dekh Arman last time puch raha hoon ….chalega…”

“hmmm…chalo, chalte hai…mera kya bigdega”bolkar main utha aur taiyar hone laga…

.
Ek bade hotel me jaane ka baki kya fayda hota hai, ye toh mujhe nahi pata par ek jo fayda mujhe hamesha dikhta hai wo ye ki aisi jagaho par maal bahut hoti hai…waitress se lekar customer tak….sab fad maal hoti hai aur aisi jagah par main aur mera hathiyar hardum taiyar rahte hai….hathiyar se mera matlab hai mere muh se….aapne kya samjha ?

“tumne kuch order nahi kiya, Arman…”mujhe dekhkar David ne kaha aur suddenly mujhe ahsas hua ki mujhe bhi kuch order karna chahiye.

“jo Varun ne order kiya same wahi”Shipra ki taraf muskurate hue dekhkar main bola “aur do char kilo popcorn…”

“Nisha…dekh ,Arman phhir se mujhse kaise baat kar raha hai…”

“main tujhse baat hee kaha kar raha hoon…aur jo sach hai wo sach hai…tu accept kyun nahi kar leti ki tune us din 500 ka popcorn akele khaya tha”

“very funny”

Sab kuch thik tha…sab kuch normal hee chal raha tha ,jab tak ki David ne mujhe toka nahi…..

“Nisha ne bataya tha mujhe ki ,tum Vegetarian ho…par sharab bahut peete ho”

“kyunki mera aisa manna hai ki kisi aur ki jaan lene se behtar hai ki main khud ki jaan le loon….kya main galat hoon ? ”

“toh tum kahna chahte ho ki tum humse…yaha baithe har shaks se behtar ho kyunki tum nonveg nahi khate….hmmm….tab toh mujhe afsos ke sath kahna padega ki tumhari soch kitni chhoti hai”

David ke aisa bolte hee mere bagal me baithe Varun ne mera hath dabaya ,yani ki wo indirectly mujhse kah raha tha ki main David ko koyi jawab na du…mann toh mera nahi mana lekin socha ki …hatao yar,jane do lavde ke baal ko….
Mere kuch na bolne ka asar positive raha aur David ne aage kuch nahi bola ,shayad Nisha ne bhi uska hath daba liya hoga….aisa maine andaza lagaya…maine gaur kiya ki table par baitha har wo shaks jise main ache se janta tha ya sirf janta tha wo sab bilkul shant the…yani ki aadat ke mutabiq Shipra apna muh nahi fad rahi thi…Sonam Varun se ishq nahi lada rahi thi aur Nisha mujhse baat nahi kar rahi thi aur David… jab se main aaya hoon tab se wo ya toh sirf mujhe ghoore ja raha tha ya meri harqato par comment pass kar raha tha…khair ,main use nahi janta isliye uske bare me kuch nahi bol sakta lekin baki teen…wo,itne chup kyun the….aur ye BKL David mujhe kyun ghoore ja raha hai….abhi lawda fek ke marunga toh pura khandan chud jayega…..aur jab maine apna dimag daudaya toh dekha ki Shipra David ko kuch ishara kar rahi thi…jiske baad David ne mujhse turant ek sawal kiya….

“tum ek engineer ho”

“Mechanical Engineer…”

“tum kaam kaha karte ho”

“Sharda Vihar”

“ye kaha hai”

“sorry….Sharda Enterprise…”

“kamaal hai,maine toh aajtak name bhi nahi suna”kahte hue David hasne laga aur uske sath Nisha , Shipra aur Sonam bhi has di aur tab mujhe samajh aaya ki ye darasal in charo ki milibhagat hai….

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“acha toh ab puri kahani samajh aayi mujhe….maine Sonam ki insult ki…phhir Shipra ki insult ki aur Nisha ki toh main aaye din karta hee rahta hoon aur ye teeno mujhe aaj tak jawab nahi de payi isliye inhone David ke sath milkar mujhe neecha dikhane ka plan banaya hai…ab samajh me aayi ye kahani….Sonam aur Shipra ka toh samajh me aata hai,lekin Nisha bhi…… that’s why I hate everyone”Nisha ki taraf dekhte hue maine socha…..
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mujhe ab bhi yakin nahi ho raha tha ki Nisha aisa kar sakti hai…..khair yahi toh antar hai mere jaise yugpurush me aur in jaise chhote insano me….kahi isme Varun bhi toh shamil nahi hai ….? Maine Varun ki taraf dekha toh wo is samay thoda gusse me tha ,jiski vazah shayad yahi thi ki David ka yun mera Mazak banaya jana ,use kuch khas pasand nahi aaya tha….yani ki jaise Nisha ne mujhe chutiya banaya tha waisich Varun ko Sonam ne chutiya banaya tha…aur tabhi mujhe apni wo baat yaad aayi jisme maine kaha tha ki…Girlfriend- ye ek word hee kafi hai un logo ko jalane ke liye jinke paas ye nahi hai aur ye ek word hee kafi hai un logo ko dilasa dene ke liye jo iske chakkar me chutiya bane hai…aur yaha wo chutiye main aur Arun…matlab main aur Varun the…..
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“tum aksar shant kyun ho jate ho…kahi tumhe aisa toh nahi lagta ki main tumhara Mazak uda raha hoon ,actually main aisa hee hoon….main dil ki baat jubaan par le hee aata hoon….tum chaho toh Sharda Enterprise chhodkar ,mere sath meri company me kaam kar sakte ho….aur tumhari salary hogi 30000 per month….mujhe nahi lagta ki Sharda Enterprise tumhe isase jyada salary degi”

“thirty thousands per month….yuck….itne me tohmeri naukrani bhi kaam na kare”bolkar Shipra has padi aur main khud ko control karne laga ki nahi beta Arman…nahi…in logo ke muh nahi lagna inhe kya pata teri mahanta ke bare me….
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Maine us waqt jab Shipra mujhpar has rahi thi toh gaur kiya ki Varun ne mera hath chhod diya tha yani ki wo ab chahta tha ki main un sabko jawab du…lekin maine apne mann ko bhatkaya aur apne hee khayalo me kho gaya…is beech Varun bahana markar waha se jana bhi chaha lekin Sonam ne use apni kasam dekar use rok liya….pata nahi wo log Varun ko kyun rok rahe the…kyunki khushi toh unhe meri bezzati karne se mil rahi thi….

“Arman tumne jawab nahi diya ki…tum meri company join karoge ya nahi….”

“done…tees hazar me done…thank you…yugpurush_arman@india.com me call letter bhej dena… ab khush”

“peon ki post hai….manzoor hai kya”kahte hue David has diya….Sonam aur Shipra bhi hasi lekin main sirf Nisha ko dekh raha tha….wo bhi is samay mand-mand muskura rahi thi....wo kayi baar toh apni hasi rok leti lekin kayi baar uski hasi aisi mand-mand muskano ke roop me samne aa jati thi….jise dekhkar main bhi muskura deta tha….

“toh tum taiyar ho meri company me subah-sham jhadu marne ke liye…”

“sorry…darsal baato hee baato me main kahi aur khoya hua tha , you know… ek busy person ke paas faltu logo ki baato ko sunne ka time nahi hota lekin phhir bhi wo faltu tuchiye log bakar-bakar karte rahte hai toh mujhe unki haan me haan milana padta hai…abhi tak main wahi kar raha tha lekin ab main pure tarike se yahi hoon aur kuch der rahunga bhi toh jo puchhna hai ab puchho….chalo start karo puchhna”

“tum jhooth bol rahe ho…tumne humari sari baate dhyan se suni aur uska jawab bhi diya lekin ab bol rahe ho ki tum kahi khoye hue the….ye kaise mumkin hai”Shipra boli 

“MTL hoon main yani ki multi talented ladka…ye toh kuch bhi nahi main toh khoye-khoye tujhe ek jhapad bhi maar sakta hoon , jiske baad tu bhi kho jayegi… try karegi”

“Shipra ko chhodo ,mujhse baat karo…..newton ka third law lagao aur humne tum par jo action liya hai uska reaction do…newton ka third law…jante bhi ho ya nahi…kamal hai…science ke student hokar third law of newton nahi jante….main batata hoon every action has equal and opposite reaction….”

“wow David…. You are so smart…mujhe ye rule likh kar do na…taki main bhi Arman ko ye rule bol saku”David ki taraf dekhkar Shipra boli

“actually, main khoya hua tha ek facebook post me….maine kal facebpook me ek post dekha tha… ek image….koyi jpeg file thi shayad…jo ki kisi nami page ne post kiya tha...jisme do image ko combine kiya gaya tha….ek image thi om sybol ki…om matlab om…shankar bhagwan wala om”hawa me om banate hue maine kaha“aur dusari image par number likha gaya tha 786….aur us image ke upar likha gaya tha ki om ke liye like kare aur ***** ke liye comment…dekhte hai kaun jeet-ta hai…yakin nahi manoge us page par barah lakh logo ne like kiya tha aur shayad itne hee logo ne comment…. Maine us pic ko dekha aur usme like aur comment ho rahi sankhya ko dekhkar mere mann me vichar aaya ki kitna free time hai logo ke paas….upar se yadi comment section me jao toh aise aise shabd ek dusare ke religion par kiye hote hai ki unhe main bata nahi sakta…bata nahi sakta kya…main toh soch bhi nahi sakta….bas isi vazah se mujhe socially hona pasand nahi hai kyunki main aksar logo se disappoint ho jata hoon… ab aaj ke dinner ko dekh lo, main jab se aaya hua hoon tab se tum log mera Mazak uda rahe ho, lekin maine kuch kaha….nahi na ….kyunki main janta hoon ki tum logo ki aukat hee yahi hai…group me baithkar kisi ki hooting karna….i just hate everyone…aur David , tu mujhe Shri newton ka third law padha raha hai…abey ullu yadi tune apne 8th semester ki book….sorry 8th semester kaha se aa gaya, teri toh aukat hee nahi ki tu Engineering ke 8th semester tak pahuch paye…yadi tune apne school ki class 8th ki science ki book ko thik dhang se padha hota toh tujhe samajh aata ki newton ke third law me action aur reaction alag-alag body par hota hai lekin tu….tune toh naya rule hee nikal diya…action aur reaction ko ek hee body par thok kar…tujhe toh award milna chahiye…chutiya award…ya phhir ghanta award…ye hua first point….aur dusara point ye ki tune newton ke third rule ke base par mujhse kya bola ki main tujhe apna reaction doon….abey gandul, newton chacha ne kaha tha ki action aur reaction alag-alag time par nahi…usi samay hota hai….toh yadi maine usi samay , jab tum log mera Mazak uda rahe the ya Mazak udane ki koshish kar rahe the toh yadi usi samay main tumlogo ko ek-do mukka mashak deta ya phhir tum logo ke muh me thook deta tab wo hota newton ke third law wala reaction….isliye agali baar se ye rule kahi ghusadne se pahle yaad rakhna ki Shri Arman ne kya kaha tha….BC tum jaise log hee ,bachpan me 2+2 ke jawab me 6,7 likhkar aksar murga bana karte ho….aur Shipra tujhe newton ka third rule chahiye….taki tu mujhe bata sake….tujhe pata hai, tum jaisi ladkiyo ko dekhkar main kya sochta hoon….main sochta hoon ki….tumlog is duniya me kyun aayi…matlab koyi career nahi…koyi knowledge nahi…tum jaise…tum jaisi se matlab tum teeno jaisi ladkiya bas baap ke paise ke dum par 23-24 saal tak aish karti hai phhir shadi kar leti hai….bas life khatm….BC isase achchhi life toh River View Colony ka kutta-Bisleri jeeta hai…kyunki afterall uski koyi respect hai…uska koyi role hai…tum logo ka kya role hai ?…baap ke paise par aish karna…? Tum logo ko zara sa bhi andaza hai ki tum logo ko dekhkar tumhare maa-baap kya sochte honge ? apne dosto ke samne kitni sharam aati hogi unhe ye bolne me ki…meri beti, kuch nahi karti…wo toh bas chhachhundar ke mafiq idhar se udhar din bhar ghumte rahti hai….shame on you, girls….shame on you….”kahkar maine ek lambi saans li aur pani peene laga….paani peene ke baad maine ek Dakar mari aur Shipra ki taraf dekhkar bola“aur janeman, kya haal hai….aglI baar kisi padhe likhe ko le aana mujhse muqabala karne ke liye…toh main chalu, ya kisi aur ko koyi aur baat karni hai…Nisha…?Sonam….?Shipra…..? itni shant kyun ho tum teeno…lagta hai mere baaton ko tumne dil pe le liya…dil pe hee lena warna kahi aur logi toh kahi aur se baat bahar niklegi…badi aayi, third law of newton explain karne wali…. toh main chalu….David bhaiya ? main jaun ya aap mujhe koyi aur naya offer denge ya koyi science ke rule samjhana chahe toh main ruk sakta hoon…basharte aapne un rules ko ek anpadh…bepakal insaan ki tarah na padha ho….”

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Meri baat ka waha baithe sabhi logo ne bur maan liya tha aur Varun ke reaction ko dekh-kar mujhe ahsas hua ki maine jyada bol diya hai….Shipra ki halat toh rone jaisi ho gayi thi…Sonam aur Nisha bhi gumsum gumsum thi….

“dekha ho gaya na kabada…mujhe chhedte hee kyun ho, phhir..mana ki currently main version 3.0 par chal raha hoon…lekin iska matlab ye thodi hai ki Version 2.0 ke ek bhi features nahi honge…mere dimag me version 1.0 aur 2.0 ka backup hai…jise main jab chahu tab install karke tum sabki fad sakta hoon..that’s Shri Arman for you…bitches”

“main soch raha tha ki ” un sabka kaam tamaam karne ke baad main waha se jaane ke liye khada hee hua tha ki David bol pada“Arman tum baat kar rahe the kisi fb pic ki, jisme kisi famous page ne kuch objectionable material post kiya tha ,jiske karan tumne us post ko like karne wale ,us post me comment karne wale lakho logo ko galat samajh liya….ye kis hadd tak sahi hai…kya yahi tumhari aukat hai….kya tumhari thinking itni giri hui hai ki tumne us page par like,comment karne wale sabhi logo ko galat maan liya…jabki galti sirf us pic ko post karne wale ki thi…tumhe pata hai humare uchi society me log tum jaise insaan ko kya kahte hai…narrow minded…iska matlab bhi pata hai tumhe…narrow minded…”

“abhi tune thodi der pahle science ka rule mujhse pucha tha, usase santusti nahi hui kya…jo tu ab science se koodkar English me aa gaya….abey tune mujhe samajh kya rakha hai…khair jaane do…”

“ok leave it…lekin tu ye toh zaroor manega na ki tu narrow minded hai… tum jaise log hee terriorist jaisi chizo ko badhawa dete hai”

“lol…gay please”

“let me finish… tum ek baar socho aur phhir mujhe batao ki galti kiski thi…us fb post me…use post karne wale ki ya use like/comment karne wale ki”

“dono ki… darasal mera aisa manna hai ki….chutiya banana buri baat nahi hai, chutiya banna buri baat hai….sorry lesbians for my foul language… kya karu, dialogue book me yahi likha tha ”

“toh tum ye kahna chah rahe ho ki us pic ko like karne wala har shaks chahe wo chhota ho ya bada…chahe wo nasamajh hee kyun na ho…wo sab bure hai…ab ye mat kahna ki unme se koyi innocent nahi raha hoga…”

“bahut ho gaya,ye vad-vivad…main chalta hoon”ghadi me time dekhte hue maine kaha…

“toh tum haar gaye…”

“nahi”

“toh phhir ise complete karke jao….jise tumne shuru kiya hai…warna apni haar swikar karo aur hum sabse dus-dus baar sorry bolo”
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Chapter-9 : Deterioration of Brain
“hmmmm….lagta hai tum logo ko completely finish karna padega….taki aaj ke baad mere samne khade hote hee tumhara paani nikal jaye….”wapas baith kar main bola“toh kaha the hum…haan us fb post par…jaha tumhare according kuch innocent log bhi the jinko duniyadari ki samajh nahi thi……toh yadi deeply analyse kiya jaye humari baato ko toh tum yahi dekhoge ki tum ek-do ache insan ke avaj me sau bure logo ko bacha rahe ho aur main sau bure loge ke karan us ek ache insan ko bhi nahi baksha raha… aur yadi aur deeply analyse kiya jaye humari baato ko toh tum paoge ki hum dono hee galat hai….par tum mujhse jyada galat ho….darasal main ye kahna chah raha hoon ki hum sabhi galat hote hai par sawal ye hai ki kaun jyada aur kaun kam….aur rahi baat us ek ache insan ki toh….. ye toh natural law hai…gehu ke sath ghun bhi chudta hai….so shut the Ferrous uranium….i mean fuck up”


Dusare din subah subah mere mobile par Nisha ka sms aaya ki….aaj ke baad wo meri shakl bhi nahi dekhna chahti hai….maine ye baat Varun ko batayi toh wo thoda sad ho gaya…afterall dosti toh nibhani hee thi aur usi dosti ke karan Varun sad hone ka natak kar raha tha….ya sachmuch me sad tha ?…mujhe nahi pata…maine mobile me aaya hua sms Varun ko dikhaya…toh wo bola

“kal raat bahut reaction pe reaction pel raha tha na, ab jhel ye reaction….ab ro baithkar”

Jiske jawab me maine kuch nahi kaha aur table par rakhe goggle ke sath cigarette ke packet ko uthakar balcony ki taraf chup-chap aa gaya…maine cigarette jalayi aur kash marne hee wala tha ki mujhe yaad aaya ki procedure toh ye nahi hai…procedure ke mutabiq mujhe pahle goggle pahanna chahiye uske baad phhir cigarette jalani chahiye….maine jali hui cigarette ko kuch der dekha aur phhir balcony se neeche fek kar goggle lagaya aur dusari cigarette jalaya….

“hat BC , bahut rahis hoon main…mujhe kisi ki zaroorat nahi hai…”

“kamal hai, Shri Arman bhi udas hote hai…mujhe laga tha ki ye pyar….mohabbat ke chutiyape me padkar tu kabhi udas nahi hoga”room ke andar se hee mujhe taana marte hue Varun bola“chal thand rakh…Sonam se baat karke tera patch up karwa dunga main”

“abey, main wo nahi soch raha , jo tu soch raha hai ki main soch raha hoon…main toh isliye udas hoon kyunki ye bhi koyi tareeka hai break up karne ka…ki bas ek sms kar diya aur break up…mera matlab koyi gali nahi koyi galauch nahi…ye toh insult hai meri…mujhe dekh maine kitne style se Aradhna se break up kiya tha aur utne hee style se Esha ne mere sath….lekin Nisha ne toh KAPD kar diya..”

“acha toh tu chahta hai ki ,Nisha pure society me announce kare ki usne tujhe apni zindagi se nikal feka hai”

“ye sab chhod… wo tu kya bol raha tha ki Sonam ke through tu mera patch up karwa dega…yadi aisa hai toh main abhich Sonam ko sorry bolne ke liye taiyar hoon…wo bhi live….bol kya bolta hai”Varun ki taraf cigarette aur lighter fek kar main bola “soch le…tera kitna name hoga…log kahenge… gaur se dekhiye is shaks ko…yahi hai wo shaks ,jisne Shri Arman se sorry bulwaya ,wo bhi ek ladki ko….log toh tere diwane ho jayenge aur ladkiya tera lund chusane ke liye tere peeche bhagengi….aur tera boss….tujhe”

“ho gaya na be….”meri baat ko beech me katkar Varun ne kaha“chal main try karta hoon…lekin pahle tu Sonam ko call karke sorry bol”

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Maine apne mobile ka front camera on kiya aur video recording start karke sorry bola lekin mujhe usme kuch khalipan sa laga yani ki kuch adhoora adhoora sa…aur jab maine aas pass dekha toh mujhe samajh aaya ki maine goggle nahi pahna hai…kamal hai , mujhe jaha tak yaad hai , usme toh maine abhi do minute pahle hee goggle pahna tha..phhir ye kaise mumkin hai ? anyway maine goggle pahna aur ek baar phhir se video mode me camera on kiya..

“hiii…Sonam…Good morning…may god give you all the good and bad things you want today and sorry for last night…I know you and your beautiful ,intelligent friends will give me mercy…ok bye, have a bad day…I mean good day…love you from Varun” video record karke maine mobile Varun ki taraf fek kar kaha“is video ko jaha bhejna hai bhej de….main chala Sharda Enterprises ”


Kal raat ko David ke dinner aur subah Nisha ke break up messege ke karan main ek baat toh bhool hee gaya tha…jo ki is samay mere liye sabse jyada important thi …wo ye ki kal mujhe River View Colony ke bahar jo Rathi mam milI thi wo haqiqat me thi ya wo mere dimag ka koyi jhol tha…yadi wo mera vaham hua toh phhir thik hai…lekin yadi wo sach me Rathi mam niklI toh phhir main toh gaya kaam se….
Sharda Vihar pahuch kar main chupchap apni seat par jakar virajman ho gaya aur mere virajman hone ke kuch samay baad hee mere computer ke paas rakha telephone baj utha….aur jaisa ki mujhe ummid thi call Rathi ki thi…usne mujhe apne cabin me aane ka nyota diya…jiske baad maine soch liya ki “ yadi aaj jyada hawa me udegi toh isko bhi zameen pe le aaunga…. bhad me gayi naukari….Shri Arman ko naukari ki kami hai kya….huh”

Ms.Rathi ke cabin me ghuste hee mere hosh udd gaye kyunki aaj wo jo tight dress pahan kar aayi thi use dekhte hee nano second me mera lund tight ho gaya…waise toh Ms.Rathi ko maine aaj tak sirf formal me dekha tha lekin aaj wo pata nahi kaun sa dress pahan kar aayi thi…jisme kandhe tak toh kuch tha hee nahi aur kamar ke paas elliptical shape me uski dress ka kuch hissa gayab tha…jis-se Rathi mam ki gori…chikni kamar ka kuch hissa mujhe dikh raha tha… mera sara gussa Ms.Rathi ko dekhkar chhoo-mantar ho gaya…aaj Rathi mam kuch jyada hee saj sawar kar aayi thi…isliye main bahut der tak bina hile dule…bina saans liye ektak sirf aur sirf use dekhta raha…mera matlab…isko chodne ko pa jaun toh mera jeewan safal ho jaye…lekin ye janeman ,aaj formal dress me kyun nahi aayi….kya Sharda Enterprises ke kayde ispar lagu nahi hote….yahi fayda hai manager hone ka…

“tumhare kal ki badtameezi ke liye main tumhe baad me sabak sikhaungi…filhal mujhe abhi Sharda Enterprise ke General Manager Shivakant Sehgal ko receive karne jana hai…isliye main abhi jaa rahi hoon aur khabardar yadi kal ki tarah samay se pahle ya kisi ko inform kiye bina gaye toh”kahte hue Ms.Rathi ne apna bag uthaya aur waha se chalti bani….aur meri nazar unke matakte hue gand aur kamar par ja atki….jiske baad mere muh se anayas hee kuch shabd Rathi mam ki tariff me nikal pade

“tujhe na chodu toh chain mujhe aata nahi hai,
Ek tere siwa koyi aur lund ko bhata nahi hai…”

Rathi mam ke jaane ke baad main wapas apni jagah par aakar baith gaya, jaha office me kaam karne wala peon jo ki meri hee umra ka tha meri table par chay rakhte hue bola…

“kya , Arman bhau…kidhar chale gaye the tum kal….Rathi madam bhadak relI thi bahut”

“tu mujhse aap kahkar baat kiya kar be…warna kisi din pel dunga…samjha”

“kya Arman bhau…apun ko laga ki apun dono firand hai…isliye aapko tum bola,warna ricard hai Jagat ka ki,usne kabhi is office me kisi sahib aur madam ko bhav tak nahi diya”

“ye kya hai be…thandi chay leke aaya hai…ja dusari leke aa”

“are kya bhau…thik hai apun laata hai,lekin aapko apun ka ek kaam karna padega”bolkar Jagat ne pahle idhar udhar dekha aur phhir dheere se bola“mujhe wo walI fillum chahiye”

“bhag lawde yaha se…warna abhi shikayat kar dunga”

“kya bhau…bhav kha rele ho…do na”

“chal beta kalti ho ja…”

Mujhe Sharda Vihar me kaam karne se koyi dikkat nahi thi balki Sharda Vihar aur Rathi mam ki badaulat main aksar bore hone se bach jaya karta tha lekin iska nuksan bhi tha ,wo ye ki office me kaam na hone ki vazah se main bore bhi hone lagta tha aur ye jo boring word hai, isase main duniya me sabse jyada nafrat karta hoon…insano se bhi jyada.

Yahi haal aaj ka bhi tha,balki aaj haal kuch jyada hee behal tha…baki din toh Rathi mam ki gand ka sahara bhi tha ,lekin aaj toh wo bhi nahi thi…I mean aaj toh lawda… lawde hee lag gaye…upar se Vandana mam ki dhamki alag…Vandana mam se pichha kaise chhudaya jaye ? aisa kya karu ki Vandana mam wo wali baat puri tarah se bhool jaye…

Inhi pareshaniyo se joojhate hue main chair par pura pasar gaya aur upar chhat ki taraf dekhne laga…chhat se mera matlab hai ceiling…maine dekha ki ceiling ek do jagah se crack hai aur ek jagah usme shayad black ya green color ka daag bhi tha….mujhe karne ko kuch toh tha nahi ,isliye main us daag ko hee dekhne laga aur jaise-jaise main use dekhta gaya ,mere dimag me kayi aakritiya aane lagi wo ceiling ka hara dhabba chamakne laga aur uski chamak itni tez thi ki meri aankho me chubh rahi thi….kayi aakritiya mujhe ceiling par madrati hui dikhayi di….maine us chamakte hare rang se honi wali chubhan ko rokne ke liye apni aankh band kar li…lekin meri aankh ab bhi chubh rahi thi jaise maine apni aankh band hee na ki ho…mera pura sharir bahut jor se kanpne laga….itni jor se ki mere dono hath pair buri tarah kaanp rahe the aur daant aapas me takra rahe the..main apni aankhe kholkar ye dekhna chahta tha ki BC ye kya bala hai lekin jab maine apni aankhe kholi toh main kahi aur tha…maine apni aankh kholi toh paya ki main toh apne ghar me tha…jaha mujhe Vipin bhaiya ki aawaz sunayi de rahi thi…

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“papa,aapne Arman ko kaha tha ki wo Varun ke sath na ghoome lekin maine kal Varun ke sath hee Arman ko dekha tha bus-stop par…..”

“uthne de usko ,abhi batata hoon main…”ek kadak aawaz ke sath mere papa ji ne kaha ,jo mere kaano tak bhi pahuchi…..

“subah se hee shuru ho gaye ye baap-bete…pata nahi kya dushmani hai mujhse”badbadate hue maine bistar chhoda 

Us din jyada kuch khas nahi bola mere papa ne…bas mujhe ek bar aur warning di ki main yadi Varun ke sath ghoomte ya baat karte hue paya gaya toh meri aisi-taisi kar denge…..pata nahi kya problem hai in sabko Varun se ? khair main taiyar hua calender me taarikh dekhi….23 sept. 2009 

“bhai yar , tujhe ek baat batani hai…”prayer ke dauran apne aage baithe Varun ko kochakte hue main bola

“Bulla bhai ,idhar hee round maar rahe hai aur unhone tujhe mujhse baat karte hue dekh liya toh, wo tujhe toh kuch nahi kahenge lekin mujhe thapadiyate hue kahenge ki nalayak disturb karta hai…school ke sabse ache ladke ko….”bina peeche mude Varun ne kaha

“sun toh sahi”

“na bhai…”

“bhag sale…ab bolna ki Reema se setting karwa de…”

“kaun se jamane me jee rahe ho gurudev…Reema se meri setting ek mahine pahle hee ho chuki hai…kal hee toh bataya tha tujhe ki maine use uske ghar jakar kiss kiya hai”

“yani ki last time main ek mahine pahle aaya tha”badbadate hue maine apni aankh band ki aur prayer me wapas lag gaya….

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Ye shayad dusari ya teesari baar tha jab main apne version 1.0 me pahucha tha…aur main ye janne ko bahut utsuk ho chuka tha ki kya main yaha jo bhi karunga kya wo mera past change kar dega aur kya mujhe mere ateet ki dusari hee kahani bayan karega…mera matlab yadi maine abhi apne hath ko chaku se kaat liya toh kya next time jab main yaha aaunga toh kya mere hath me chaku ka wo nishan rahega ya phhir aise hee sirf aaj tak ke liye hee wo nishan simit rahega...23 sept. 2009 mujhe ache se yaad hai ki aaj ke din recess time me meri hee class ka ek launda bathroom me cigarette peete hue pakdayega jiske baad uski khoob pelayi hogi….isliye mere paas bahut se mauke the ye check karne ke liye ki yadi main yaha koyi changes karu toh haqiqat me kya hoga…..

“haan ab bol…ki kya bol raha tha prayer ke time…”prayer hall se class ki taraf aate hue Varun ne mujhse puchha

“main tujhse kahna chahta hoon ki…ki……nahi yar tu sochega ki main tujhe bewkoof bana raha hoon…jo ki main tujhe hardum banata hoon ”

“bolega bhai”

“main tujhse kahna chahta hoon ki main is waqt se nahi hoon….matlab main Arman hee hoon lekin pata nahi main yaha kaise achanak aa jata hoon..”

“chal be…subah se kuch aur nahi mila kya…kal tu class me mujhe bol raha tha ki tu future dekh sakta hai aur aaj bol raha hai ki tu future se hee aaya hai…”

“abey kal maine waise hee kah diya hoga ,sixth sense ke dum par….lekin aaj main sachmuch me future se aaya hoon”

“aisa toh phhir ye bata ki”class me baithe laundo ki taraf dekhte hue Varun ne puchha“aaj kise bulla class ke bahar bhejega”

“abey ye chindi sawal mujhse tu kyun puch raha hai…main tujhe bade kand ki information deta hoon…wo bhaisa hai na C section me”

“kaun wo kariya…jisase kutte ki tarah baas aati hai”

“haan wahi…kariya…wo aaj lunch ke samay cigarette peete hue pakda jayega,jiske baad school ke sare teacher use gher kar marenge aur ”mera itna bolna tha ki aas-paas ki deewaro me vibration hona shuru ho gaya…jisase main samajh gaya ki ab mera ant samay aa gaya hai...lekin itni jaldi ?…pichhali baar toh kafi time tak main yaha tha. Ab main ye kaise maloom karunga ki yaha change kiya hua incident vastav me bhi change hota hai ya nahi….

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Initially mera plan ye tha ki main recess me us ladke ko bathroom me cigarette peene nahi dunga jisase wo na toh teachers ki pakad me aayega aur na hee school me halla hoga aur next time jab main yaha aaunga toh Varun se puchh lunga ki kya wo launda cigarette peete hue pakdaya tha….ispar yadi Varun ka jawab na rahega toh main samajh jaunga ki cheeze badal rahi hai lekin yadi Varun ne haan kaha toh samajh jaunga ki mera yun yaha aana sirf aaj ke liye valid hai…main jo karunga wo sirf aaj tak ya phhir kahe ki sirf mere dimag tak hee simit rahega… in sabka vastavikta se koyi lena dena nahi hai aur phhir River view colony me jakar Varun se finally confirm kar lunga…warna directly puchhne se wo mujhe pagal samjhega…lekin abhi achanak vibrate hoti dewaro ne mera sara plan chaupat kar diya tha ye aisa tha jaise ki prakriti mujhse kah rahi ho ki…. na munna na…tum jo ho chukka hai use badal nahi sakte….

“Varun sun dhyan se…2011 me India world cup jeetegi lekin 2015 me semi final me haar jayegi…ab tu ye yaad rakhna…chal jaldi se bol ke dikha”

“2011 me india world cup jeetegi lekin 2015 me semi final me haar jayegi…”

“right…bas tu ye yaad rakhna aur next time main tujhse jab bhi puchhu toh mujhe bata dena…aur sale agli baar jab Reema ke ghar jayega toh dhyan se kand karna kyunki uska bhai tum dono ko pakad lega aur Gandhi jayanti ke agle din Bulla surprice test le….le…leeee….lega”apna sar dabate hue main bola“isliye taiyari kar lena kyunki Bulla hum dono ko alag……alag…….”
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“iski maa ka….koyi zandu balm lao be” haqiqat me aakar apne sar ko dono hath se thok kar main bola

mere dimag ki ulool zalool harqato ke karan hee main aajkal vartman samay me honi wali kayi ghatnao ko yaad nahi rakh pa raha tha aur kisi bhi chiz ko mujhe bar-bar remind karna padta tha jaise ki aaj taarikh kaun si hai…aaj din kaun sa hai…abhi thodi der pahle kya hua tha….kal kya hua tha. Yani ki mere common sense ki aajkal full baji padi thi aur aisa hee kuch abhi ho raha tha…maine aankh band karke kuch der tak socha aur tab mujhe samajh aaya ki main is waqt Sharda Vihar me hoon aur mere samne ye ladka jo mobile hath me pakde hue khada hai uska name Jagat hai….

“Jaggu…ek cup”ungali dikhate hue maine use kaha…jiske thodi der baad hee Jagat chay lekar aa gaya

“wo yogi ji bol rahe hai ki apna mail dekh lo…”

Maine Jagat ke hath se chay ka cup liya aur bina kuch responce diye apna mail kholne laga…lekin Jagat wahi khada raha…

“Arman sir…wo wali video do na”

Aur uske itne bolte hee maine gusse se bhari tirachhi nazar se use dekha jiske baad wo chup chap waha se khisak liya……chay ki siskiya….. mera matlab chay ki chuskiya lete hue maine mail se juda attachment download kiya jisme machine parts se related dimensions vagerah thi…..

“hat behanchod”eka-ek us attachment ko close karte hue main bola“ab ye mujhe chodna sikhayenge…”lekin phhir dusare hee pal maine attachment ko khola aur kaam par lag gaya 
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Sharda Vihar se room aate waqt mera mobile baja…auto itna pelam-pel bhara hua tha ki mujhe apna mobile nikalne me kafi dikkat ho rahi thi aur mobile nikalne ke dauran mera hath mere bagal me baithi ek ladki ke jaangh se touch ho gaya….mujhe use sorry kahna chahiye tha, lekin mobile nikalne ki jaldbazi me maine use kuch bhi nahi kaha…jisase shayad wo bur maan gayi aur wo boli….

“idiot…andha hai kya”

“haan ,bol Varun”us ladki ko bina koyi jawab diye main bola lekin Varun shayad kisi se baat kar raha tha jisase mujhe kuch background aawaze sunayi di….

“ye article ,Mishra ko de dena aur bolna ki maine bhijwaya hai aur….aur Ganga-Jamuna wala article yahi rakh do…pahle main check karunga…ab tum jao”

“bolega be….”

“haan Arman…ek khushkhabri hai tere liye”

“bak”

“Sonam tere sorry wale video se bahut khush hui aur usne Nisha ko mana liya hai…aur unhone bhi tujhe sorry bola hai”

“pakka”

“haan…”

“chal phhir ,bye…abhi auto me hoon toh aawaz saaf nahi aa rahi”Maine call disconnect ki aur mypics pe jakar Nisha ki photo par click kiya 

“idhar dekh oye…”thodi der pahle mujhe idiot aur andha kahne wali ladki ko aawaz dete hue maine kaha“ye meri girlfriend hai,jise main bhav tak nahi deta…ab khud ko dekh”front camera on karke uski photo usi ko dikhate hue maine kaha…“khud ko dekh aur compare kar meri girlfriend se…tujhe lagta hai ki main jaan buchkar waisi harkat karunga…matlab jab mere paas five star hotel ka ras malayi hai toh main ek third class dahi bade par apna hath kyun marunga… tujh jaisi ladkiyo ko main dekhta toh kya thookta bhi nahi hoon…aur ab chup hee rahna warna aisi bezzati karunga ki itni garmi me body se paseene ki jagah aansu niklenge…got it”

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Auto me baithi us laundiya ko bhapka dekar main colony ki taraf badha…waisi toh mujhe abhi bahut problems thi lekin sabse badi jo problem thi wo ye ki kaun si problem sabse badi hai….? mere dimag ka yun ajeeb harqat karna…ya Nisha se mera breakup ya phhir Vandana mam ki dhamki…main kispe jyada concentrate karu…kisko pahle solve karu aur kaise solve karu ?

Vandana Rathi ne aaj mujhe office me warning dekar meri tension aur badha di thi aur mujhe aisa lag raha tha jaise ki ab mera dimag fat jayega... .main toh aaj Vanadana mam se milne ke pahle tak yahi soch raha tha k kal sham ko office se aate waqt meri jo unse River View colony ke bahar mulaqat hui thi wo mera hallucination tha lekin aaj Enterprises jakar pata chala ki wo hallucination nahi balki sach tha…main sach me Vandana Rathi se kal Colony ke bahar mila tha… lekin wo yaha kya kar rahi thi ? par gaur karne wala jo mudda tha wo ye ki pahli baar maine kisi real incident ko bhram mana tha , mujhe toh kal pura yakin tha ki Rathi mam se meri asal me koyi mulaqat hee nahi hui thi…


“toh iska matlab ye hua ki halat aur kharab hote ja rahe hai, ab mujhe haqiqat aur apne dimag ke dhokhe ko pahchan karne me bhi dikkat ho rahi hai…Vandana Rathi toh ab jo karegi , wo karegi hee… lekin ab meri fatne wali hai…mujhe ye ho kya raha hai..pahle neend gayab hui aur ab haqiqat bhi gayab hote ja rahi hai… mujhe ab aage se ahtiyat bartna hoga kisi se baat karte samay….sixth sense ke toh lavde lag hee gaye the ab toh baki bacha kucha sense bhi pata nahi kaha chala gaya ”


Yahi sab sochate-sochate main colony ke gate ki taraf badh raha tha ki meri nazar colony ke park me padi…waisi mere aas-paas kya ho raha hai ,kaun kya kar raha hai…main is par jyada dhyan nahi deta…lekin park ke andar dekhte-dekhte meri nazar ek ladki par atak gayi, jiski umra mere jitney hee rahi hogi…wo ektak mujhe waise hee dekhe ja rahi thi jaise ki main use dekhe ja raha tha…hum dono ki aankhe ek-dusare par bilkul constant thi yani samay ke sath koyi parivartan nahi…..mujhe kuch samay laga us ladki ko pahachan-ne me…aur jab wo mujhe pahchan me aayi toh maine ahiste se apni nazar us-se hatakar samne ki taraf kiya aur teen tak ginti ginkar apne flat ki oor pura dum laga kar bhag khada hua….


“ye toh Aradhna thi BC…ye pakka hallucination hai…hundred percent…lekin kahi wo sach me hui toh ?.......”maine khud se sawal puchha aur phhir khud par hee jhalla kar kaha“bitch please….usko mare hue ek saal ho chuke hai aur use yadi atma ban kar tujhe darana hota toh ek saal ke gap me nahi aati…balki usi samay teri fad deti jab tu college me tha….”

“yani confirm hai ki wo mere dimag ki upaj thi”khud se sawal puchhate hue main badbadaya aur room ka gate kholkar andar aa gaya…

“isme bhi koyi shaq hai kya…jail wale kand bhool gaya kya…shame on you”

“wokay…no problem…main iska koyi na koyi solution nikal hee lunga……yadi time mila toh ”
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“abey Arman , uth…ye had ho gayi be…room ke andar kyun nahi gaya…chal uth”

“kaun hai be..disturb mat kar, warn pelunga…waise bhi neend aati nahi aur jab aati hai toh tum log utha dete ho…mujhe samajh nahi aata tum log ko dikkat kya hai mujhse…na sale chain se jeene dete ho…na chain se sone dete ho…ab kya mar jaun main,tab thandak milegi tum logo ko…”

“abey uth kar dekh toh sahi…tu soya kaha hai…”mujhe wapas jor se hilate hue usne kaha….

Aur abki baar mera matha itni jor se thanka ki main teji se utha aur uthkar seedhe Varun ka collar pakad liya

“bosedk fod dunga,bata raha hoon…aukat me raha kar”hath bandhkar maine use bola…


Ye sab suddenly hua tha ,mujhe ye maloom tha ki samne Varun hai lekin phhir bhi maine aisa kiya matlab maine kiya nahi wo toh aise hee apne aap ho gaya…… mujhe hosh me aane me kuch samay laga…jiske baad main muskurane laga and trust me…mera muskurane ka koyi mann nahi tha…abhi toh bilkul bhi nahi….

“fad acting karta hoon na main”Varun ka collar chhod haste hue maine kaha

“acting…ye sab acting thi…tu room ke bahar sham ko 7 baje ghas par so raha hai aur mere jagane par mujhe marne par utaru ho jata hai aur ab bol raha hai ki…kaisi lagi meri acting”

“ approximately ”bolte hue main phhir muskuraya 


Par wo muskan sirf Varun ka mood thik karne ke liye tha, asal me main andar se bechain hua ja raha tha ki main yaha kaise aaya…maine toh room ka darwaza khud apne hath se khola tha aur kayi cigarette peekar stubs ko dustbin me goal bhi kiya tha…phhir main yaha kaise …kaha aur kab ?

“ab andar chalega, ya yahi ghas par sokar phhir se apni acting dikhayega ”naraz hote hue Varun bola aur andar chala gaya

Varun ke andar jaane ke baad maine ek nazar aas-paas mari aur ye confirm kiya ki koyi mujhe dekh toh nahi raha hai phhir maine achanak hee apne pant ki zib kholkar lund bahar nikala aur bola“aao salo…gand nahi fad diya toh bolna”

Raat hote hee logo ki dinbhar ki mehnat unpar hawi hone lagti hai…lekin mere sath thik iska ulta hota hai , raat ko 11-12 baje mere sharir ke andar energy peak par hoti hai,jaise main kayi ghanto ki neend lekar baitha hua hoon aur aaj bhi kuch aisa hee ho raha tha….khana khane ke baad main bistar par leta hua deewar par tangi ghadi ko dekh raha tha…main second ki sui ko observe kar raha tha...mera mann ho raha tha ki main Varun ko sab bata du…mera mann kar raha tha ki main Varun ko apne us time travel ke bare me bata du, jo aksar mera dimag mujhe karate rahta hai….lekin problem yaha bhi wahi thi ki Varun mera yakin nahi karega aur jaisi aajkal meri harqate hai… waise me Varun toh kya yadi Arun bhi hota toh wo bhi mera yakin nahi karta….Arun kya… main khud nahi karta…lekin tabhi mujhe kuch sujha aur maine Varun se pucha…

“Varun, kya school me maine kabhi tujhe kaha tha ki, main future se hoon…”

“tune toh ye bhi kaha tha ki tu avatar hai kisi bhagwan ka…”apne laptop ki screen ko jhukate hue usne mujhse kaha….

“wo toh maine aise hee kah diya hoga…ye bata kya maine kabhi tujhe kaha tha ki 2011 world cup india jeetegi aur 2015 me india semi final me haar jayegi”

“dekh Arman disturb mat kar…waise hee sala ye Ganga-jamuna ka matter mere hath me dekar meri aisi taisi kar di hai agency walo ne….”

“yani Na…ok, mujhe bas yahi janna tha”


Itna bolkar main wapas deewar par tangi ghadi ko dekhne laga aur har baar jaise-jaise second ki sui hilti main count karte jata….ab mera pura dhyan counting par tha….main hazar-hazar ke sets me counting kar raha tha…taaki counting ekdum correct ho aur mujhe asani ho…maine hazar-hazar ke kayi sets complete kiye aur jab maine thak kar counting band ki toh hazar-hazar ke kul 17 sets the…yani ki 17000 seconds….yani ki sadhe char ghante se bhi adhik samay tak main sirf second ki sui ke movements ko ginta raha…..wow…… fantabulous ! 
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Nisha…mujhe aksar shabd kam pad jate hai is shabd ko describe karne me…main soch me pad jata hoon ki ,kaisi iski tareef karu…jis-se ye khush rahe aur mujhe barabar deti rahe ….main soch me pad jata hoon, kaise aur kya karu ki iska dil na toote ya ise bura na lage aur isi soch-soch me mujhe aksar koyi aisi tarqeeb mil jati hai jisase main, Nisha ki utar deta hoon………..izzat…. matlab mera intention toh sahi rahta hai lekin result sahi nahi nikalta…ab isi samay ko hee le lo….jab aaj Nisha mujhse milne MBD me aayi toh maine use 'hi…' karne ke liye hawa me hath uthaya tha lekin maine 'hi..' nahi kiya maine apna hath upar hawa me uthaya aur Nisha ko middle finger dikha di….ye sab ekdum achanak se hua tha aur iski maine kalpana bhi nahi ki thi…lekin maine ye kiya tha aur paap toh paap hota hai ,chahe jaan buchkar kiya gaya ho ya anjaane me…

“toh ye tarika hai tumhara hi kahne ka…koyi galatfahami me mat rahna ki mujhe tumhari yaad aa rahi thi ya aur kuch…main yaha isliye aayi kyunki mujhe Sonam ne kaha tha…”

“sorry for middle finger…wo main karna nahi chahta tha ,bas suddenly… instantly …mujhse ho gaya…trust me.”

“kal raat tumne thik nahi kiya Arman , tumne hum sabko abuse kiya….”
“wah…tum karo toh cool, hum kare toh fool..I agree ki maine kal raat thik nahi kiya lekin thik toh tum logo ne bhi nahi kiya tha…kya tum logo ka plan mujhe bulakar sabke samne insult karne ka nahi tha…tum logo ne mere khilaf shadyantra racha…tum charo ne milkar mere liye chakravyuh ka nirman kiya…ab maine arjun ke mafiq chakravyuh tod diya toh isme meri kya galti hai…ye toh mera parakram hai…”

“thik hai manti hoon ki , humne tumhe insult karne ka plan banaya tha…lekin ek limit ke andar…lekin tumne toh hadd hee kar di…seedhe hum sabke family members par pahuch gaye tum….do cup cold coffee…”order marte hue Nisha boli…

“ek hee lana main nahi piyunga…”waiter ko aawaz dekar main bola “There is no limit to what I can do…. aur tum logo ne kya kiya, wo Varun , sala mujhe bol raha tha ki main uske office me peon ki naukari kar sakta hoon…tumhari saheliya mujhpar khullam-khulla has rahi thi…ye galat nahi hai…aur kya name hai us bewkoof ka….hmm…Shipra ,wo mujhe newton ka third law padhane wali thi….sorry par ye tumhare liye limit me hoga…mere liye bahut jyada hai aur main katayi bardasht nahi kar sakta ki meri koyi insult kare ,wo bhi mere dost ke samne….mere fans kya sochenge , Aur by the way tumne David ko kya koyi turram khan samajh liya tha jo mere samne le aayi usko…tumhe mere level ka andaza bhi hai ki main kya hoon…main kaun hoon…main bhagwan hoon, mera janam nahi avatar hua hai…main nayi duniya bana sakta hoon…us duniya me sadak,building yaha tak ki insano ko bana sakta hoon…ek ko toh maine bana bhi liya hai…tumhe andaza bhi hai ki main time travel bhi kar sakta hoon apne tez dimag ke through….aur aise me tum mera muqabala karne kise le aayi….us David ko…aur usne field kaun sa chuna…Physics ?. Par tum yaha ye baat karne nahi aayi ho…dar-asal main kahna ye chahta hoon ki galat hum sab hote hai...par sawal ye hai ki kaun kam. Kal dinner ke time par galat tum log bhi the aur galat main bhi tha…”

“toh iska faisala kaise hoga ki,kam galat kaun hai…”coffee ka cup uthakar Nisha ne kaha aur phhir halki halki chuskiya leni lagi…

“jo sorry bol de…jo ki main bol chuka hoon”

“sorry…”cup neeche rakhte hue Nisha boli aur apne purse se paise nikal kar table par rakh di…

“rahne de..main de dunga bill…warna ek naya mudda utha legi ki Arman ,tumne kabhi mujhe coffee bhi pilayi hai…kya”

“sach…”thoda khush hote hue Nisha ne kaha “aaj kafi samajhdar maloom pad rahe ho…”

“haan,kyunki kal sapne me apna jack sparrow aaya tha”


Iske baad Nisha kuch nahi boli aur main use dekhta raha…maine kayi baar Nisha ke behaviour ko observe kiya aur reading note ki jiska mean nikal kar main is nateeze par pahucha ki hum dono hee kitne fake hai…kahne ko toh hum dono boyfriend-girlfriend hai lekin pichhale do-teen mahino se humare beech aisa kuch bhi nahi hua jisase ye lage ki hum dono wakayi me boyfriend-girlfriend hai…maine observe kiya ki Nisha shayad ab ek mauke ki taalash me hai…wo mauka jiske buniyaad par wo mujhse door ja sake...is tarah ab ye relationship puri tarah mujhpar depend karta tha ki main use wo mauka du ya nahi….chhote log hamesha mauke ki taalash karte hai lekin mere jaise brahmand vijeta ,jab jo karna ho…kar dete hai.

“toh main chalu…”jab thodi der tak main kuch nahi bola toh apna bag kandhe me latkate hue wo boli….

“aaj raat ko free ho kya….”

“common Arman, tum toh aise behave kar rahe ho jaise….jane bhi do….haan free hoon…”

“main soch raha tha ki , main tum logo ko ek chhoti si party du…mere job lagne ki khushi me…tum sab ise meri apology bhi samajh sakte ho”

“really…”apni aankhe badi karte hue Nisha boli “mujhe toh yakin hee nahi ho raha hai…Shri Arman aur apology party….”

“kaha na ki kal sapne me Jackie dada aaye the…wahi pirates wale”

“ok…ab mujhe acha lag raha hai…thank you Arman…”uthkar Nisha ne kaha

“fuck you…I mean…love you”

“love you too…Arman….take care”apne hontho par muskan lakar Nisha boli aur waha se chal di

“Sali fake…just like me”

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Chapter-10 : 24 Hours
MBD se nikalkar main colony ki taraf chal pada aur chalta hee raha…bahut der tak chalte rahne ke baad maine gaur kiya ki sadak khatm hee nahi ho rahi hai…raasta to maine apne room tak jaane wala naapa tha par main room nahi pahuch raha tha…room kya ,main toh colony ke gate tak bhi nahi pahuch paya tha aur ab achanak se jis sadak par main chal raha tha wo mere liye anjaan ho gayi thi…main kidhar jaun aur kidhar na jaun mujhe kuch samajh hee nahi aa raha tha…maine apne aas-paas dekha…waha bahut sari sadak ab apne aap ban rahi thi ,jo ki ek-dusare ki same to same copy thi aur ek dusare se randomly kahi se bhi judte ja rahi thi…jinpar se bahut sari gaadiya tez raftaar ke sath gujar rahi thi aur jab koyi gadi tez raftaar ke sath mere paas se gujarti toh mera dimag jhanjhana jata…maine dekha ki in sadko ka koyi normal pattern nahi tha…ye toh bas randomly ek dusare se judati ja rahi hai…kayi sadak toh mere aankho ke samne ban rahi thi…apne aap.jaise kisi ne koyi jadu ki chhadi ghumayi ho aur tabhi mere paas aakar ek school bus ruki…

“abey, Arman…bheeg kyun raha hai…jaldi andar aa…”

“kaun…kya abhi baarish ho rahi hai ”

“abey andar aayega…School nahi jana kya…”

“School…kaun sa school…kya main ek teacher hoon…? aur ye Arman kaun hai..mera name Arman hai ?”

“andar aayega ki nahi tu…”ek dusari kadakdar aawaz mere kaano me padi jiske karan main us aawaz ki taraf dekhe ko mazboor ho gaya…wo school bus ka conductor tha shayad…confirm, wo school bus ka conductor hee tha….ya phhir nahi tha.


Maine apne aap ko wahi khade rahkar upar se neeche tak dekha aur paya ki main ek school uniform me hoon…aur baarish me puri tarah bheeg gaya hoon…lekin ye barsaat kab hui ? aur yadi hui bhi toh mujhe pata kyun chala ? aur ye jhat barabar launde mujhe jaldi se andar kyun aane ke liye kah rahe hai ? inki maa ka… wait….kahi main phhir se toh….shit


“are yar…phhir se past me…pata nahi main real me kaha hoon…”bus ke andar aate hue main gusse se bola 

Mujhe thoda samay laga ye janne me…ki actually mere sath ho kya raha hai.par mujhe chinta is baat ki thi ki main haqiqat me kaha hoon…kyunki mujhe itna toh yaad hai ki Nisha ke jane ke baad main bhi MBD restaurant se bahar nikal aaya tha lekin apne room tak nahi pahucha tha…yani ki main Restaurant aur apne room ke beech kahi behosh pada hua hoon…? 

“BC mujhe yaha se bahar nikalna hoga…warna koyi mere upar gadi chadha kar nikal jayega….”


Maine gaur kiya ki bahar bahut tez baarish ho rahi thi aur us baarish me main bhi bheega hua tha,jiska ahsaas mujhe ab ho raha tha…. yani ki apne aankh me paani dalkar toh main wapas haqiqat me nahi ja sakta tha…kyunki main already pani me bahut bheega hua tha aur ab bhi yahi tha…isliye maine apne sar ko thodi der sahlaya aur mere aage wali seat ke peechhe jo lohe ka handle laga hua tha uspar apna sar de mara…

“kamal hai…kuch nahi hua…lagta hai ,force kam pad gaya” kahte hue maine ek aur baar apna sar us lohe ke handle me de mara lekin nateeza ab bhi wahi tha…aur main ab bhi wahi tha…maine do-teen baar aur try kiya…lekin har baar sirf mera sar hee dard deta…

“kyun be…mutth marne ka side effect ho raha hai kya..jo apna sar baar-baar patak raha hai…”mere bagal wali khali seat me baithkar Varun bola

“tu bhi yahi hai…”

“jaha tu…waha main..”

“gay… waise …aaj date kaun si hai…”

“19th Sept. 2009….”

“ye nahi ho sakta….”apni aankhe fadkar aur full chauk-kar main bola…jiska karan ye tha ki last time jab main yaha aaya tha toh Varun ne mujhe 23 Sept. ki date batayi thi aur aaj wo 19th sept. bata raha tha….yani ki past me past…kya chutiyapa hai yar….

Last time main jab aaya tha toh Varun ko maine ye bataya tha ki ‘ Indian cricket team 2011 me world cup jeetegi aur 2015 me semifinal haar jayegi’…taaki main ye check kar saku ki main past events me interfere kar sakta hoon ya nahi….aur mera plan tha ki jab main agli baar apne School life me Varun se milunga toh us-se ye puchkar confirm kar lunga…lekin ab samay ne apna naya khel shuru kar mujhe aur peeche dhakel diya tha...upar se main yaha kab tak rahunga ye bhi mujhe nahi pata tha…ispar se reality me main kaha pada hua hoon iski mujhe alag hee tension ho rahi thi…

“Arman…”

“hmm….”

“Armaaan…”abki baar thoda cheekh kar Varun ne mera name pukara

“chillata kyun hai be….wo bhi kaan ke paas”

“ek bahut zaroori baat karni hai tujhse…”

“time nahi hai…main khud bahut pareshan hoon…aur ye jhat barabar launde…jo bus me aage baithe hai…wo halla kyun kar rahe hai…inki toh main…”

“sun na bhai…”

“bak…”

“wo Gaurav hai na…Gaurav…”

“D section wala,Gaurav…wahi na tera dost…”

“dost mat bol MC ko…”

“kyun be…kal tak toh tu aksar uski tareef karta rahta tha…aaj kya hua…” apna sar dabate hue Varun ki taraf dekhkar maine puchha…lekin Varun chup raha…


Varun mujhse kuch kahna chahta tha…lekin uski jeebh atak rahi thi. Matlab wo mujhse kah nahi pa raha tha…aur jab wo mujhse nahi kah pa raha tha yani ki abtak toh usne is bare me kisi se jikra tak nahi kiya hoga…
“le kaan me bol de…”apna sar thoda aur Varun ke karib lejakar maine kaha…jiske baad Varun ne apni mutthi bheechi aur bahut speed ke sath ek saans me sab kuch bol gaya…ek saans me ? nahi actually usne ek baar beech me saans liya tha…ya phhir do baar…?

“main kal sham ko cricket khelne gaya tha aur mom-dad bhi ghar par nahi the….main Gaurav ko apna dost manta tha aur wo aksar mere sath mere ghar aaya karta tha…aur kal jab main cricket khelkar ghar wapas lauta toh dekha ki Gaurav ,meri behan Mahi ke sath mere ghar me tha...Gaurav ko yun apne ghar me dekh mujhe ajeeb laga…bahut ajeeb laga..lekin mere kuch puchhane se pahle hee Gaurav boundary koodkar waha se bhag gaya….”
.

Do you Remember the first law of friendynamic ? created by me….let me remind you…dost ki maal = dost ki behan…yani ki dono ko line marna mana hai….lekin yaha toh D section wale Gaurav ne jise Varun apna dost manta tha usne sirf line hee nahi mara tha balki aur bhi bahut kuch mara tha…School pahuchkar maine D section me jakar dekha…Gaurav abhi school nahi aaya tha…lekin prayer hall me mujhe Gaurav dikh gaya….mann toh mera usi samay use thokne ka tha lekin phhir maine khud par control kiya aur jab prayer khatm hui toh main Varun ko lekar D section me gaya…waha D section ke aur bhi ladke the…jinme se kuch Gaurav ke dost bhi the….lekin mujhe unse koyi matlab nahi tha aur na hee mujhe unki koyi parvah thi…main…Varun ke sath seedhe Gaurav ki bench ke samne gaya..jaha wo baitha hua tha….mujhe ,Varun ke sath dekhkar Gaurav samajh gaya ki main yaha kyun aaya hoon…


“kaise be..”Gaurav ka thobda pakad kar main bola…

“sorry bhai, galti ho gayi….”dheemi aawaz me Gaurav ne Varun se kaha…

“galti….ye le…”bolkar maine sabke samne Gaurav ko ek tamacha kheechkar diya…


us waqt mujhe pata nahi kya ho gaya tha…jab se maine Gaurav ki is harqat ke bare me suna tha…tab se mera khoon jal raha tha…mujhe aisa laga jaise ki Gaurav ne Varun ki behan ke sath nahi balki meri behan ke sath wo sab kuch kiya ho…aur Gaurav ko waha apne samne dekh main sirf yahi nahi rooka….mere ek tamacha marne ke baad wo mujhe bhi marne ke liye utha…lekin wo thik se khada bhi ho pata us-se pahle hee maine uske seene me ek laat jad di…jis-se Gaurav wahi ladkhada kar peeche neeche gir gaya…aur mujhe maa-bahan ki gali dete hue jor-jor se rone laga…uske rone ki aawaz se main itna jaan gaya tha ki ab school ke teachers zaroor aayenge…yani ki main fasne wala to tha hee toh maine socha ki kyun na ise puri tarah markar khatm kar diya jaye…isliye pahle toh maine neeche gire hue Gaurav ko laato se mara lekin jab mera mann nahi bhara toh hafte hue main bhi neeche baitha aur uska baal pakadkar kheechte hue uska sar zameen par jor se patak diya….jisase uske cheekhne ki aawaz aur bhi tez ho gayi…..lekin main nahi ruka aur uska sar zameen par marta hee raha…aur jab uske mathe se khoon nikalna shuru hua toh maine uske sar ko chhodkar utha 

“Madarchod…Varun tujhe apna bhai mankar apne ghar le jata tha aur tune uski bahan ke sath hee…”bolte hue maine ek laat seedhe Gaurav ke muh me mari…jiske baad uske sar ke sath uske muh se bhi khoon nikalne laga….


Par main thoda hairan tha ki D section me se uska koyi bhi dost mujhe rokne ke liye samne kyun nahi aa raha tha…Gaurav ka koyi bhi dost use bachane ke liye mujhe nahi rok raha tha aur na hee kisi ne ladayi jhagda shant karwane ki koshish bhi ki…yaha tak ke Varun ne bhi mujhe nahi roka aur tab main samjha ki Varun toh yahi chahta tha…wo janta tha ki main friendynamic ke law ke karan bahut jyada gussa ho jaunga aur bina kuch soche-samjhe marte dum tak Gaurav ko marunga…yani ki Varun ne jaan-buchkar bus me wo baat mujhe batayi thi ? toh ye sab Varun ka plan tha ? that’s why ,I hate everyone…..


Maine Gaurav ka pair pakda aur use ghaseet kar class me sabke samne laya aur phhir se neeche baitha aur mukko ki jhadi laga di….is dauran kayi baar mera hath neeche floor par bhi takraya aur mujhe bhi dard hua…kayi jagah se mera bhi hath kat gaya tha aur mere hath se khoon nikal raha tha….lekin main nahi rooka…mujhe toh bas Gaurav ki shakl dikh rahi thi aur dheere-dheere mujhe uski shakl me Gautam ki shakl nazar aane lagi….isliye main use maarta gaya, bas maarta gaya….aur tab tak maarta raha jab tak ki school ke teachers ne aakar mujhe us-se alag nahi kiya…mere principal ne toh mujhe maarne ke liye apna hath bhi utha liya tha….lekin phhir wo rook gaye aur mujhe kuch nahi kiya….BC fattu ,Principal…main uski jagah rahta toh kachar dalta.
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Jab teachers ne milkar mujhe Gaurav se alag kiya toh maine apne hatho par dhyan diya…mera dahina hath buri tarah sooj gaya tha aur zameen me takrane ki wazah se kayi jagah se kat bhi chukka tha aur khoon nikal raha tha….
Gaurav ko turant school wale hospital le gaye aur mujhe Principal ke cabin me ….jaha sabhi teachers mujhpar chilla rahe the…mujhse reason puchh rahe the ki maine aisa kyun kiya….lekin maine ek shabd bhi nahi kaha….jiske baad teachers ne D section ke kuch ladko ko bulaya….

“sir, is ladke se puchhiye….ye D section ka sabse achchha ladka hai… ….ye jhooth nahi bolega…”Principal ke cabin me aaye hue D section ke ek ladke ki taraf ishara karke Shriman Bulla ji ne Principal se kaha….lekin Principal kuch kahte uske pahle hee main bol pada…

“kaun ye….ye aur hoshiyar ?…..main baye hath se bhi paper likhu toh is-se adhik number mere aayenge….”

“Arman…just…shut up…”


Mujhe shut up karane ke baad Principal ne D section ke sabse hoshiyar ladke se meri is harqat ka reason puchha aur us hoshiyar ladke ne sab kuchh bak diya…usne Principal sir ko bata diya ki Varun ki bahan ko lekar ye ladayi hui thi….Principal ne D section ke ladko ko wapas bheja aur Varun ko cabin me bulaya aur sath hee D section ke ek ladko ko Vipin bhaiya ki class me bhejkar unko bhi khabar pahucha di…Varun se Principal ne pura matter jaan liya,jiske baad wo soch me pad gaye ki ab aage kya kiya jaye…..unhone mere ghar phone bhi laga diya par meri asli problem mere mammi-papa nahi the…meri asli problem mera bada bhai tha…jo abhi-abhi gusse me Principal ke cabin me ghusa tha …


“isne aisa kiya…? ”Principal se pura matter jan lene ke baad Vipin bhaiya uthe aur seedhe meri taraf badhe…

Vipin bhaiya ko apni taraf aata dekh mujhe andaza ho gaya tha ki ab mere sath kya hone wala hai…isiliye main apne gaal sahlane laga taaki dard kam ho….

“kyun be…kya samajh rakh hai tune school ko…”ek thappad markar unhone mujhse puchha…

“tujhe kitni baar samjhaya ki…Varun ke sath mat ghooma kar…mat baat kiya kar us-se…”dusara thappad marker unhone kaha “aaj main teri sari garmi utarta hoon…aaj pure school ke samne tujhe markar jo tera ye ghamand hai na….use aise todunga ki….”


Pahle toh Vipin bhaiya ne mujhe principal ke cabin me dhoya aur phhir maarte hue mujhe Principal ke cabin se bahar le aaye…is beech Principal sir ne Vipin bhaiya ko rokne ki koshish bhi ki lekin Vipin bhaiya nahi ruke aur mujhe marte hee rahe….ab teachers to class me the nahi…kyunki aadhe toh Gaurav ko lekar hospital gaye the aur aadhe Principal ke cabin me the… isliye bahut se students idhar-udhar ghoom rahe the…aur jab Vipin bhaiya mujhe marte hue Principal ke cabin se bahar le aaye toh sabki maano saans atak gayi…jo jaha tha wahi se sann rahkar is nazare ko dekh raha tha….teachers ne Vipin bhaiya ko rokna chaha lekin Vipin bhaiya ne saaf-saaf warning de di ki “uske family matter par koyi dakhalandazi nahi karega….”

Vipin bhaiya ne mujhe bahut dhoya mujhe beeso jhapad mar diye aur jab wo hath se marte-marte thak gaye toh unhone ek laat mujhpar kaskar jad di….jisse main wahi thodi door jakar gira…zameen par main thoda tedha hokar gira tha jiske karan mere ek side ki khopdi zameen par buri tarah ghista kar chhil gayi thi….lekin Vipin bhaiya ko pata nahi mujhse kya dushmani thi…wo yahi nahi ruke aur unhone mera baal pakad kar mujhe uthaya 


“aaj se tu sudhar jayega…bahut garmi hai na tujhme….”kahkar unhone apna hath mujhe marne ke liye uthaye hee the ki maine apni hatheli ko kaskar bandha aur ek mukka kaskar Vipin bhaiya ke naak par de mara…

“bada hai isliye abhi tak khada hai…lekin ab aur nahi…meri bhi koyi izzat hai aur tujhse kahi jyada hai..tujhe pata hai tere classmates ke aalawa School ke baki students tujhe kis name se pukarte hai…? Wo sab tujhe dekhkar kahte hai ki wo dekh Arman ka chutiya bhai ja raha hai ,jo Arman se har field me peeche hai…jo hamesha Arman se haar jata hai aur ab agar tune meri taraf ek kadam bhi badhaya toh…yahi zinda gaad dunga…..MAA KASAM”
.

Hum dono bhai the…lekin aaj jo school me ho raha tha, wo bahut bura tha…maine jab Vipin bhaiya ko dhamkaya toh unki thodi fati aur wo shant ho gaye…iske baad unhone na hee mujh par hath uthaya aur na hee mujhse kuch kaha kyunki wo ab iske kaabil bhi nahi the…actually hua ye tha ki maine jo mukka unke naak par mara tha, us-se unke naak se khoon nikalne laga tha…aur thodi hee der me wo bhi khoon se lathpath ho gaye…par isme galti kisiki thi ? meri ? Vipin bhaiya ki ? ya School ke teachers ki ? jo is samay mook darshak ban kar khade the….mana ki mere papa is school ke trustee hai lekin unhe Vipin bhaiya ko phhir bhi rokna chahiye tha…Vipin bhaiya ne apne jeb se roomal nikala aur apne naak se lagatar bah rahe khoon ko rokne ki koshish karne lage...main wahi khada tha…wahi kuch foot ki doori par…maine Vipin bhaiya ko dekha wo ab bhi roomal se apna khoon saaf kar rahe the tabhi meri nazar principal ke cabin ke bahar rakhi lohe ki bench par padi aur main bina samay gawaye waha gaya aur bench ko uthakar seedhe Vipin bhaiya ke paas pahucha….main us bench se kya karne wala hoon ye samajhne me teachers ko thoda time laga aur jab tak wo ye samajhte maine bench ko kayi baar Vipin bhaiya ke sar par de mara tha….confirm…maine 4 baar Vipin bhaiya ko us bench se mara tha aur ek baar school ke us teacher ko jisne mujhe sabse pahle rokne ki koshish ki thi… 


Waise Jab aapke papa school ke trustee rahte hai toh iska sirf fayda hee fayda hota hai…ab mujhe hee dekh lo …maine itna bada kaand kiya…Gaurav ko hospital pahucha diya…lekin mujhpar koyi action nahi liya gaya…kam se kam do-teen hafto ke liye toh school se bahar karna banta hee tha…par wo bhi nahi….upar se School prashasan ne Gaurav ko iska dosi thahraya aur use restricate to kiya hee sath hee quarterly exam dene se bhi use rok diya….yani ki mere papa ne apni influence ka full use kiya aur isme unka sath diya Varun ke papa ne…jo ki School ke char trustees me se ek the…kyunki afterall unhi ki laundiya ke chakkar me toh ye bawal hua tha…


.
“hero banne ka bahut shauk hai tujhe…” hospital me meri aur Vipin bhaiya ki marham patti karane ke baad jab papa bahar gaye to Vipin bhaiya ne mujhse kaha…

“wo toh main already hoon…”

“tu ruk..Arman…ab toh bas mujhe ek mauke ki taalash hai…phhir dekh main kaise teri dhajjiya udata hoon….”

“ek baat batao…koyi kaam dham nahi hai kya ,jo din bhar mere peeche pade rahte ho…kya maine kabhi aapke matter me ungali ki.aapko kya lagta hai mujhe aapke kands ki jaankari nahi hai…Vipin bhaiya, main sab kuch jaanta hoon…par main kabhi kuch bolta nahi…yadi main papa ke samne apka parcha kholne baith gaya na….toh unke idol bete hone ka jo dhong aap rach rahe ho na wo sab rafa- dafa ho jayega…pata nahi aakhir ghar me sab aapko acha kyun mante hai…jabki aap jitney percentage late ho us-se toh main hamesha 10-12 % aage hee rahta hoon…aap koyi sa bhi field chun lo aur mujhse jeet ke dikha do…study…sports…quiz…GK…kuch bhi chun lo”

“Arman…bahut ghamand hai na tere andar…par yaad rakhna ye ghamand tootega zaroor…zindagi mauka sabko deti hai…abhi tera time hai, kal mera hoga….tab main gin-gin ke hisab lunga…ghamand toh ravan ka nahi bacha toh phhir tera kya haal hoga….”

“toh ye bhi toh dekho ki Ravan ka ghamand toda kisne tha…Shri Ram ne…na ki aap jaise kisi sadak chhap ne…aur mera ghamand jab tootega ,tab tootega...uski parvah mat karo…aap toh ye socho ki ghamand tootne se pahle main kya-kya kar jaunga aur mujhe toh bas quarterly exam ka intezaar hai…jaha main har subject me 95+ score karunga aur aap 70…75 me chud jaoge…aak thoo…jakar padhayi karo aur maa-baap ka naam roshan karo…shukra manao ki mere karan hee Pandey ji ki beti se aap sab compete kar pate ho…warna aap sabko wo Pandey ji ki beti rel deti”


Vipin bhaiya apna daant peeskar rah gaye aur main in sabme itna kho gaya tha ki mujhe yaad hee nahi raha ki main is samay ka nahi hoon aur ye sab toh pahle se decided hai…mujhe achanak khayal aaya ki main toh ab bhi MBD aur River View Colony ke beech me kahi behosh pada hua hoon…maine time dekha…ab tak mujhe yaha aaye hue lagbhag paanch ghante beet chuke the, par kya haqiqat me bhi paanch ghante beet gaye honge ?…ya us-se kam ? ya phhir jyada ?


“agli baar se past aur present ke time ko compare karna padega….”bistar par lete hue maine socha“pata nahi main kis haal me hounga…waha se guzarne wale log toh mujhe bewada samajh rahe honge…pata nahi yaha se kab niklunga…kahi main mar toh nahi gaya BC ? ”

Yaha ke bare me ek chiz jo maine aur gaur ki thi wo ye ki mujhe na toh yaha neend aati hai aur na hee mujhe bhookh lagti hai, isiliye jab ghar me mujhe khane ke liye bulaya gaya toh maine saaf-saaf mana kar diya aur gharwalo ko laga ki main gussa hoon…jab ghadi me raat ke dus baje toh meri chinta aur badhne lagi….aur apne room me deewar ko dekhkar maine socha ki “chalo ek aur baar try marte hai…”

Maine apne sar ko sahlakar deewar par de mara…lekin nateeza ab bhi wahi tha aur main bhi wahi tha…

“ye kya hai BC …kya chutiyapa hai...mujhe wapas jaana hai…”deewar par chillate hue maine kaha aur wapas bistar par let gaya…ab neend toh mujhe aati nahi upar se main abhi us samay me atka hua tha…jis samay me mere paas na toh laptop tha aur na hee mobile…isliye beetne wala har ek seconds mere liye ghanto ke barabar tha…aur wo puri raat meri zindagi ki ab tak ki sabse badi raat rahi…jise maine bistar par letkar apne vartman ke bare me sochte hue bitaya…mera dimagh ab puri tarah ghoom raha tha…isliye subah 6 bajte hee main chupke se ghar se nikal kar ek pan thele par cigarette peene gaya….

“4-5 cigarette dena…”jeb se sau ki ek patti nikal kar maine kaha

“sar me kya hua…”Cigarette dene ki bajay us Pan thele wale ne mujhse mere sar ke bare me pucha

“tujhse kya matlab be…tu apna kaam kar…”bhadakte hue maine kaha…

“itna chilla kyun raha hai…izzat se baat kar…”

“dekh main na teri *** chod dunga…yadi tune cigarette dene ke aalawa ek aur shabd bhi kuch kaha toh…”

“ja BC , nahi dunga cigarette…”

“cigarette toh tera baap bhi dega…”bolte hue maine sau ki patti wapas apne jeb me dali aur apna hath andar daalkar cigarette ka ek packet nikal liya “tu mujhse puch raha tha na ki mere sar me ye chot kaise lagi…aise hee lagi thi…tere jaisa ek lawda tha…usi ko marte waqt mujhe chot lagi…ab mere peeche mat aana…warna ye chot tere sar me transfer kar dunga”
______________________________

Sadak ke kinare bane ek ghar ke peeche jakar maine fatafat ek cigarette sulgaya aur lambe-lambe kash marne laga …jisase mujhe thodi rahat nahi mili ….jiske baad maine do aur cigarette fook mare….aur tab mujhe apni galti ka ahsaas hua aur main wapas us panthele wale ke pas gaya…

“sorry…”cigarette ke dibba uski taraf fekte hue main bola “ 6 bachi hai…rakh le…aur agli baar se grahak jo maange chup chap de diya karna…”
.

Cigarette peene se meri bechaini thodi kam hui thi lekin phhir bhi main tension me tha ki main kab yaha se nikal paunga par main itna toh jaan gaya tha ki yadi main yahi ghar par pada raha toh yaha se nikalna mushqil hai…mujhe kuch na kuch karte rahna hoga taaki kisi ek event ke dauran mere dimag ke andar chalne wala samay chakra mujhe bahar nikal feke….isiliye main school jaane ke liye taiyar hone laga…gharwalo ne bahut mana kiya ki aaj mat ja, thode din rest kar le…lekin main nahi mana aur important test ka bahana karke school ke liye taiyar hone laga…lekin gharwale phhir bhi nahi maan rahe the aur Pita shri ne toh yaha tak kah diya tha ki wo mere teacher se baat kar lenge…lekin main nahi mana aur jabaran school jaane ke liye taiyaar hone laga….jiske karan papa thoda naraz ho gaye….lekin maine apna bag taanga aur ghar se nikal gaya….

Aaj Varun nahi aaya tha…isliye main bus me sar jhukaye chup chap baiha tha..normally bus se school ka safar aadhe ghante ka tha…lekin jab bahut der tak bus school nahi pahuchi toh maine ghadi me time dekha…


“ek ghanta ho gaya…aur bus abhi tak chal rahi hai…”apna sar uthakar maine khidki ke bahar dekha toh meri aankh fati ki fati rah gayi….bahar thik usi tarah bahut sari sadke ban rahi thi…jaise ki kal. Jis-se main samajh gaya ki yahi samay hai, yaha se nikalne ka…maine khud ko dekha toh paya ki main school uniform me nahi hoon aur mera sharir bhi present time wale Arman ka tha…maine bus me apni nazar daudayi , bus me koyi nahi tha….na toh students …na hee conductor aur na hee driver….par bus apni full speed ke sath sadak par daudi jaa rahi thi….

“kya-kya karwa raha hai mera dimag mujhse….ab is chalti hui bus se koodna padega…khair koyi baat nahi….kaun sa mujhe kuch hoga…”badbadate hue main gate tak aaya aur bhagwan ka naam lekar neeche kood gaya….mujhe past me aakhiri pal jo yaad hai usme bus ka tyre mere upar chadh gaya tha aur mujhe bahut sari aawaze sunayi de rahi thi lekin phhir sab kuch achanak se shant ho gaya…


Idhar haqiqat me main jab utha toh meri lakh koshisho ke bawzood meri aankh nahi khul rahi thi…jaise ki kisi ne feviquick se chipka diya ho…maine apni ungaliyo se bhi aankh kholne ki koshish ki lekin aankh aisi chipak rahi thi main kuch nahi kar pa raha tha…jis-se mujhe shaq hua ki kahi main sach me haqiqat me aaya hoon ya phhir se kahi aur pahuch gaya hoon….kahi lawda ,main mar toh nahi gaya ? 

“control…control…aur ahiste se khol…jaha power kaam nahi karta waha pyar kaam karta hai…kaam kar raha hai…aise hee …haan…iski toh…”

Aankh khulte hee main chauka , kyunki is waqt main apne room me tha…lekin ye kaise mumkin hai…kyunki mujhe ache se yaad hai ki main MBD restaurant se apne room pahucha hee nahi tha…maine time dekha toh dopahar ke ek baje the…aur yadi ye wahi din hai jis din main last time Nisha se mila tha toh yaha ka do ghanta mere past ke chaubis ghante ke barabar hai…..

“Relativity…Einstein kaka ”

Par yadi ye dusare din ka 1 PM hua toh ?…yadi yaha koyi relativity na hui toh ? ye bhi toh ho sakta hai ki mujhe kisi sadak ke kinare pada hua dekh Varun mujhe utha laya ho…aur is waqt kahi bahar gaya hua ho…waise bhi room ka gate khula hai…par isme ek locha hai…yadi main sadak ke kinare behosh pada rahta aur Varun mujhe dhoondh leta toh wo mujhe yaha room me thodi lata ,wo toh mujhe seedhe hospital me admit karta…par ye maloom karna ki aaj kaun si taarikh hai bahut aasan tha…maine apna mobile uthaya aur date check kiya….

“5 Sept. last time jab main Nisha se mila tha toh 5 Sept. tha ya phhir 4 sept. ya phhir 3…ek min. kal 4th Sept. tha…sure…lekin mujhe aisa kyun lag raha hai ki kal 4th nahi balki 3rd Sept. tha…bahut confusing hai ye…ek kaam karta hoon Nisha ko call karta hoon….”
.

“haan ,Arman…toh confirm hain na ki tum hum sabko party de rahe ho….”

“party ,kaisi party…”angadayi lete hue maine pucha

“arey itni jaldi bhool gaye…tumhi ne toh kaha tha ki tum…mujhe, Shipra ko ,Sonam ko aur David ko apology party doge…”

“arey haan…yaad aaya…par pahle main tumhe specially party dunga ,akele me….uske baad sabko ek sath….”

“tum Mazak kar rahe ho na…”

“na..matlab haan…matlab na…pata nahi kya bol raha hoon main”

“main kuch samjhi nahi…”

“samjha toh main bhi nahi…par main Mazak nahi kar raha…aaj sham ko main aur tum matlab ki tum aur main kahi bahar chalte hai…mall ya hotel…kuch bhi choose kar lo…”

“sachi na…phhir apni baat se palat mat jaana…ok bye”

“arey rook toh…”

“jaldi bolo…main fb me apni photo dalne ke liye photo edit kar rahi hoon..”

“main tujhse aaj hee MBD me mila tha na…confirm…”

“ye bhi koyi puchhne wali baat hai…do ghante pahle hee toh mile the aur bill bhi tumne pay kiya tha…remember”

“kya remember…mujhe sab kuch yaad hai…wo toh main bas tujhe yaad dila raha tha ki aaj bill maine pay kiya hai”

“I love you..ab bye…”

“love you too….”bolte-bolte main ruka aur phhir kisi soch me pad gaya….jiske baad main man hee man me raksho ki tarah hasne laga…. “ab batata hoon in sabko ki Arman se panga lene ka kya nateeza hota hai…mujhe toh abhi se hee kafi excitement hai aur jab mera ye haal hai toh in sabki toh gand hee fat jayegi…inhe Version 2.0 ki jhalak dikhani padegi,taki next time se aukat me rahe…waise bhi kafi din ho gaye kuch dhamal kiye hue….mere fans ko lagta hai ki main badal gaya hoon ”
.

Nisha se baat karne ke baad main bistar se utha aur neeche baithkar cigarette jalaya…

“toh school life ka ek din real life ke do ghante ke barabar hota hai…main khamkha tension le raha tha…is tarah toh main kayi din waha bita sakta hoon…Relativity is great…Shri Einstein is great…ye ab kaun call kar raha hai….kash ki ek din Esha ka call aa jaye aur wo bole ki…sorry Arman, wo sab toh Mazak tha…asaliyat me main Gautam se nahi balki tumse hee pyar karti hoon….kya tum mujhe abhi college ki canteen me mil sakte ho ? …..par main janta tha ki aisa kabhi nahi hoga…ye sab toh sirf meri dili ichhaye hai jo aksar mere dil me utar jati hai….Esha….Eshaaaaaaaaa……jitni baar iska naam liya hai yadi utni baar bhagwan ka naam liya hota toh bhagwan mujhe swarg lok ka raja bana dete….khair koyi baat nahi…”

Waha se uthkar main balcony me aaya aur wahi khada hokar aane jaane wale logo ko dekhne laga….aur bahut der tak main waha se aane jane wale logo ko dekhta raha…pata nahi, kyun..par main waha balcony me khada hokar waha se guzarne wale har ek shaks ko dhyan se dekh raha tha…jaise ki unhone kya pahan rakha hai…wo kaise chal rahe hai…wo akele hai ya kisi ki sath me….yahi sab karte hue maine bahut der wahi balcony par beeta diya tha aur jab mere pair jawab dene lage toh main andar aane ke liye muda lekin peeche mudte hee mujhe meri aankho ke samne Aradhna ka chehra dikhayi diya…aur main ekdum se jhatka khate hue apne aap peeche chala gaya…jisase mera pair balcony me fasa aur main ulta hokar balcony ke neeche gir gaya….

“Maaadhar……kya hai lawwdaaa yeeeee…”karahte hue main sirf itna hee bol paya aur phhir wahi seedha let gaya….

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Chapter-11 : lip of heart
Balcony se neeche girne ke kuch samay tak main wahi zameen par leta raha aur jab sharir me thodi jaan aayi yani ki jab balcony se girne ka dard kuch kam hua toh maine lete hue hee apna hath-pair hilaya….

“thoda dard hai lekin hath-pair kaam kar raha hai…”

Waha se uthkar sabse pahle maine apna shoulder ghumaya aur angadayi lene ki koshish ki…lekin tabhi meri kamar me itna tez dard hua ki angadayi mujhe beech me hee cancel karni padi…

“kamar lachak gaya kya …aur maro beta stunt…”

“lawda stunt…wo toh Aradhna ka chehra dikhayi diya toh…”

“fattu…”

“ab mare hue logo se kaun nahi darta…upar se jab tumne khud use mara ho…”langada-langada kar ek hath kamar me rakhkar andar jate hue main bola aur andar aate hee bistar par gir gaya….

“Nisha ko kya bolunga ab…”maine khud se sawal kiya

“bolna kya hai…sach bol dena..ki jisko tune college life me chod ke fek diya tha…wo tujhe dikhayi deti hai…use tu sach kyun nahi bata deta ki…tere sath aajkal kya ho raha hai….kaise teri gand mar rahi hai…”

“tujhe kya lagta hai…main use sab sach bataunga aur wo maan jayegi…”bistar par palti marte hue main bola “abey wo sochegi ki main use bewkoof bana raha hoon…”

“abey try toh maar…shuru se explain kar usko…tujhe nahi lagta ki Nisha ko ab sab sach batane ka waqt aa gaya hai…”

“chal be..jab jhooth bol sakta hoon toh sach kyun bolu…chal acha ,maan le…ki main use sach bata bhi deta hoon toh beta wo sach janne ke baad sirf ek hee chiz karegi….”

“kya…”

“breakup…”

“wo toh waise bhi hoga”

“jab hoga tab dekha jayega…aur tujhe kya lagta hai ki main use jakar bolunga ki…Nisha ,main dimag ke through time travel kar sakta hoon ya past me ja sakta hoon toh wo ye baat maan legi…abey chutiye, wo itna hasegi na ki haste-haste use heart attack aa jayega….chal ab nikal thodi der aaram marne de apun ko…aur ja jakar painkiller lekar aa dukan se….”


Balcony se neeche girne ke baad mann toh mera bilkul nahi tha kahi jaane ka…lekin kyunki Shri Arman ne vaada kiya tha isliye kuch ghante ke rest ke baad main jabran bistar se utha…facewash se face dhoya… cream, powder lagaya aur phhir kabad me se suit nikal kar pahan-ne laga…puri tarah taiyar hone ke baad main room se nikal hee raha tha ki mujhe yaad aaya ki…deo bhi maar leta hoon aur do-char painkiller bhi mashak leta hoon…aur maine aisa hee kiya…

“kaha hai, janeman….”call karke maine Nisha se puchha…

“bas 5 minute…wo pahle maine green colour ki nail polish laga li thi…lekin phhir mujhe yaad aaya ki meri dress toh blue colour ki hai ,isliye ab blue colour ki nail polish laga rahi hoon…sweet na…”

“maha sweet…”


itna sunkar Nisha khilkhila kar hasne lagi…aur maine turant call cut kar di kyunki wo abhi mujhe apne nail polish ke bare me bata rahi thi aur mujhe ye andaza ho chala tha ki yadi maine call cut nahi ki toh thodi der me wo apne lipstick…necklace aur kya kahte hai use jo aankho me lagate hai ?…eye color ….eye liner ? ya phhir eye shadow ? …whatever ….un sab ke bare me bhi batayegi…isliye maine phone rakhna hee munasib samjha….

“kya taiyar ho rahi hai yar…aadha ghanta ho gaya….aisich time pe jab main khali baitha rahta hoon tabhi mera dimag ghumta hai…khair, kar bhi kya sakte hai…”
Ye sochkar maine aadhe ghante ke baad bhi phone nahi kiya lekin jab ye aakda ek ghante ka hua toh mere sabra jawab de gaya aur maine phone laga hee diya…

“aaj hee chalna hai na ? ya kal chale….”

“bas 5 minute…main room se nikal hee rahi hoon…”

“chal phhir main car nikalta hoon…”apni kamar par hath rakhkar main khada hua aur car ki chabi ke sath goggle jeb me rakh kar neeche aaya….
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Main jab-jab Varun ki car ya bike use karta hoon toh har baar man hee man me use thanks kahta hoon…kyunki uski vazah se mujhe kahi aane jaane me ,kisi ke bhi sath aane-jaane me koyi dikkat nahi hoti….jo chahiye bas use bol do….uske according wo car ya bike chhod deta hai….Nisha ko aata dekh maine rear view mirror khud par focus kiya aur usme apna virtual…erect image dekhte hue baal set karne laga….

“kuch missing-missing hai par kya…watch….done, tie…done….phhir kya missing hai…yaad aaya, goggle…”badbadate hue maine goggle lagaya aur Nisha ke liye car ka gate khola….lekin phhir maine achanak car ka gate band kar liya aur laat maarkar car ka gate khola…jisase Nisha thodi chauk gayi…

“kaisi lag rahi hoon main…”car me baith-te hee Nisha puchhi

“maal”uske puchhte hee maine chir-parichit andaz me jawab diya “nice boobs…ek baar touch karke dekhu kya”

“aise bhi koyi tareef karta hai…”thoda mayoos hokar wo boli “dhyan se dekho maine kaun si dress pahni hai…”

“chal na…kyun paka rahi hai…”

“arey dress ka colour dekho…”

“navy blue…”

“kuch yaad aaya…”

“nahi…”

“arey ,yaad karne ki koshish toh karo…”

“blue…blue….hmm…blue film…tu sex karna chahti hai…car sex ”

“nahiiiiiii….yaad karo ki tumne mujhe ek baar apne mysterious dream ke bare me bataya tha…jisme tum aur main bahut khush the aur usme maine blue dress pahni thi…yaad aaya”

“kuch-kuch yaad aa raha hai…sapne se yaad aaya, kaha hai re mera revolver….abhi sapna sach karta hoon…”car start karte hue main bola aur car sadak par dauda di…


Nisha ki ek bahut kharab aadat hai ki uske sath raho toh all time us-se baat karte raho…aap kya kar rahe ho,isse use koyi fark nahi padta…chahe aapko heart attack hee kyun na aaya ho..wo baat karte hee rahegi…yahi mahol is waqt car me bhi thi…wo har do seconds me koyi naya topic utha leti aur chahti ki main car chalate waqt us-se baat karu…kabhi wo Shipra ke bare me baat karti ,toh kabhi Sonam ke bare me ,usne mujhse David ke bare me bhi baat ki aur phhir David ke sath apne bachpan ki puri kahani sunane baith gayi….jise sunkar maine socha ki…kya ,lawda humi ek chutiya the…jo ego ke chakkar me laundiyo se baat nahi karte the…khair wo samay Arman Version 1.0 ka tha aur Version 1.0 wala Arman tharki nahi tha…warna main kayiyo ki abhi tak le chuka hota….

“acha Arman , ye batao…meri heels kaisi hai…tumne gaur kiya kya…”

“mast hai…”bina Nisha ki taraf dekhkar maine jawab diya…

“bina dekhe bol rahe ho…”thoda mayoos hote hue Nisha boli

“bina dekhe…arey jab tu ,car me baith rahi thi na…tabhi maine tujhe pura scan kar liya tha…tere upar ke baal se lekar tere neeche ke baal tak ,sab kuch mujhe pata hai ki kaisa hai aur kitne centimeter ka hai”

“clean shaved"sharmate hue dusare taraf dekhkar Nisha ne kaha
Sharma kar Nisha boli lekin meri nazar samne sadak par hee rahi…kyunki ek bar college ke dino me main aise hee rolebazi me road par bike se parabolic curve banate hue pela gaya tha…jiski mujhe bahut bhari kimat chukani padi thi…main us din sadak par parabolic curve toh nahi bana paya upar se golden jubilee me anchoring karne ka hath laga mauka bhi maine gawa diya tha…are bhad me gayi anchoring…meri jaan bach gayi wahi bahut hai…aur tab main samjha ki free me sirf blood aur sperm donate karna chahiye..jaan nahi. Us din ke accident se maine jo chiz seekhi wo ye ki rolebazi kahi bhi chod lo lekin driving ke waqt bilkul nahi…isliye main Nisha ki baat sun toh raha lekin meri nazar samne sadak par fix thi….par ye baat alag hai ki ‘clean shaved’ sunkar mere pant me hulchal honi shuru ho gayi thi….


“acha Arman, ye batao…mera necklace kaisa hai aur ear ring….match to kar raha hai na…”ek khatarnak turning me Nisha ne mujhse ye sawal pucha, jise maine ek kaan se suna aur dusare kaan se nikal diya….matlab ki ,no response…

“bolo na…” aur abki baar bhi maine wahi kiya yani ki no response….


Mere is tarah back to back , do no response se Nisha thodi naraz ho gayi aur apna gaal phulakar apna chehra dusari taraf kar liya….maine Turning cross hone tak Nisha se kuch nahi kaha aur jaise hee turning cross hui…maine car sadak ke kinare roki…

“kya chahti hai , car thok du,tere is hazar rupaye ke necklace ke chakkar me ?…nahi tu chahti kya hai…jab se car me baithi hai…bas bole ja rahi hai-bole ja rahi hai…matlab ek percent bhi dimag hai ki nahi…upar se main thahra nausikhiya driver…abhi mar jayegi toh pata chalega, phhir narak me puchhte rahna ,rakshso se ki…meri sandel kaisi hai…meri lipstick kaisi hai…meri dress kaisi hai…”


“necklace hazar rupaye ka nahi…dedh lakh ka hai..”thodi der ke liye Nisha ne apna chehra meri taraf kiya…jawab diya aur wapas dusari taraf apna muh fer liya….
“itna mahanga…tab toh mauka dekhkar chori karna padega. Ya ek kaam karta hoon, tujhe yahi jaan se marker…tera necklace lekar rafoo-chakkar ho jata hoon…kisi ko thodi pata chalega ki tu mere sath thi…kya bolti hai, revolver nikalu…”

“David ko bataya hai ,maine…”abki baar bhi Nisha ne thodi der ke liye apna chehra meri taraf rotate karke jawab di aur phhir jawab dekar wapas opposite direction me rotate kar li…

“ek baar clockwise rotation, phhir rest, uske baad anticlockwise rotation…yani ki plus, zero , minus….magnitude same hai…toh net effect nikalta hai zero… displacement… zero…wow , Incredible ! Physics…aaj Shri Newton hote toh bahut khush hote…”bolte hue maine car dobara start ki….
.

Nisha ko maine jab se turning cross karke batti di thi, wo shant thi…jisase mujhe khayal aaya ki yadi main isko car me ghusne se pahle hee batti de deta toh kitna acha rahta…lekin ab jab wo chup thi toh mujhe thoda bura lag raha tha…seriously …mera matlab Nisha bolte hue hee achi lagti hai…main bhi lawda ajeeb case hoon…ek pal ko yadi mujhe ek chiz achi lagti hai toh dusare pal wahi chiz buri lagne lagti hai…kabhi-kabhi toh main samajh nahi pata ki aakhir main chahta kya hoon…kyunki har badalte waqt ke sath meri ichchhaye bahut tezi se badalti hai…itni tezi se ki ek hee minute me mujhe bahut pasand aane wali chiz dusare pal napasand ho jati hai….lekin is duniya me ek chiz aisi hai jise main kabhi napasand nahi kar sakta…actually ek nahi…do aisi chiz hai…jo constantly mujhe achi lagti hai..par mujhe aisa kyun lag raha hai ki aisi do nahi balki teen chize hai…Esha…daru…and Physics….confirm…mujhe constantly pasand aane wali aisi teen hee chize hai aur daru se yaad aaya…I love daru more than girls….

“wow, tumhara necklace toh kafi mehanga lag raha hai…kitne ka hai…”jab Nisha aur thodi der tak kuch nahi boli toh maine hee baat ki shuruat karna thik samjha….waise aise aage se baat karna meri fitrat me nahi hai,par kabhi-kabhi main aisa kar leta hoon…kuch khas logo ke liye.lekin Nisha ne koyi jawab nahi diya

“kya lipstick lagati hai tu, Nisha….main toh fan ho gaya tere hontho ka…matlab kamal kar diya tune toh”

“ab tum kyun mujhse baat kar rahe ho…haan !…ab car ka accident nahi hoga.yadi kuch bolo toh uspar kayam bhi raha karo….mujhe nahi karni tumse koyi baat-vaat…”mujhpar chillate hue Nisha boli

“mat kar…main toh bas insaniyat ka farz nibha raha tha…socha ki tujhe bur lag gaya matlab bura laga hoga toh….main aisi hee baat karne laga tha ”

“mujhse, double meaning me kyun baat karte ho aur is tarah ke ashleel…behude words ka istemaal mat kiya karo…”

“ab main tujhse aise baat nahi karunga toh kya Sonam se aise baat karunga… kamal karti hai, Physics ke niyam ka palan nahi karti hai…”gussa hone ka natak karte hue main bola…kyunki mujhe maloom tha ki mujhe gusse me dekhkar Nisha shant ho jati hai aur ye war is baar bhi kaam kar gaya....jiske baad meri taraf dekh kar Nisha boli…

“toh tumhe kaisi lagi meri sandel…dhyan se dekho…isme blue colour ka strip bhi hai neeche…”

“mast hai..ekdum mast…superb…matlab ki itna acha hai ki mera jee kar raha hai ki ise kha jaun….”

“hihihi…thank you…aur mera hairband…”

“bas kar re bawa…maar hee dalegi kya aaj…”

“itna acha hai…? Detail me batao na”chahakte hue Nisha itni khush hui ki bata nahi sakta ki kitni khush hui….


waise bhi ye sab puch-puch kar usne meri halat aisi kar di thi ki ab main kuch bhi describe karne ki halat me nahi tha….lekin phhir bhi apni puri taqat laga kar main bola…

“you’re great…your choice is just amazing…your dress is mindblowing and your vagina ke toh kya kahhh……ne…..sorry wo aise hee apne aap flow-flow me muh se nikal gaya”slowly-slowly break marte hue maine kaha….


Nisha ne Eternity Mall choose kiya tha…jo ki River View Colony se 25 km door tha…upar se main thahra nausikhiya driver…isliye hume Eternity pahuchne me lagbhag ek ghanta lag gaya….Nisha bahut khush thi, isliye main bhi bahut khush tha….waise meri ye fitrat toh nahi hai ki mujhpar samne wale ki khushi ya gham ka koyi asar pade…lekin jaisa ki maine pahle kaha tha ki kabhi-kabhi aisa ho jata hai…

“tumne ye mall kyun choose kiya…”lift se bahar nikal kar maine Nisha se pucha….
Jiske jawab me apna baal hath se peeche karte hue wo mujhe dekhni lagi aur kuch der tak meri aankho me dekhti hee rahi…


“ye kaha kho gayi…kahi ye bhi time travel toh nahi karne lagi…”sochte hue maine Nisha ko thoda hilaya , lekin wo meri aankho me hee dekhti rahi…

“kya tumhe itna bhi yaad nahi ki hum pahli baar yaha mile the…isi mall me…”

“yaad…sab yaad hai mujhe…tu kisi ka batua marke ground floor me bhag rahi thi aur main third floor par tha…jiske baad maine tujhpar tajectory set karke khud ko launch kar diya tha…mujhe aaj bhi yaad hai wo din…ki kaise tu mere samne ro rahi thi…”(kamal hai hum dono yaha mile the…mujhe toh laga tha ki park me mile honge)

“aisa kuch bhi nahi hua tha,samjhe….”kaskar ek mukka seedhe mere chhati me marte hue Nisha ne kaha…

“pyar me itna tez thodi marte hai….”apna chhati sahlate hue main bola 

“dekha mera power…”

“power…? yani work upon time…anyway …leave it ….”samne se aati ek maal ko dekhte hue main bola “mere samne jyada power-vower mat kar ,warna Abhi fook dunga na toh neeche feka jayegi…”
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Nisha khud ek maal thi aur uske rahte maine mere samne se aati hui ek ladki ko dekha aur bas dekhta hee rah gaya…us ladki ko samne se dekhkar meri dilI ichchha hui ki main uski gand bhi dekhu …uski gand ka shape aur size dekhne ke liye…jab wo mere paas se gujari toh main peeche muda aur dekhte hee main us ladki ko chodne ke bare me sochne laga aur man hee man me khud se bola…“wah…kya gand hai…ye jhatu toh ise bahut chodta hoga…chhote log, sale….gand ke pujari ”

“Arman…ab saamne dekh lo …wo chalI gayi”jab main bahut der tak peeche hee dekhta raha toh kohni marker Nisha ne mera dhyan us ladki ki gand se hataya….

“dekha…yahi hota hai…jab hum dono sex nahi karte toh…mera dhyan unnecessarily …. unnecessary ladkiyo par chala jata hai…”Dominos me ghuste hue maine kaha…


Dominos ke andar jakar hum dono ek jagah par baith gaye , maine do pizza order kiya ,jiske baad Nisha boli….

“tumhe meri aankhe kaisi lag rahi hai…”

“kya hua, teri aankho ko….”uski aankho me dekhte hue main bola“teri aankh toh thodi blue dikh rahi hai…”

“guess karo, ye kaise hua hoga”

“hmm…scattering of light…jiski vazah se aasman neela dikhta hai ”

“nahiiii…jab dekho, tab physics…common sense use karo na”

“lense…lagayi hogi”

“haan…”muskurate hue Nisha ne jawab diya “acha lag raha hai na”

“haan….”

“acha batao…hum dono pahli baar kaha mile the….”apni muskan jaari rakhte hue usne mujhse pucha…

“kyun batau ? ja nahi batata”

“are batao na…”

“pahle 100 de phhir bataunga”

“chalo de diya ,maan lo”

“toh maine bata diya, tu bhi maan le”

“ab samjhi…tumhe yaad hee nahi hai ki, hum pahli baar kaha mile the…hai na..”thoda serious hote hue Nisha boli

“yaad…mujhe sab yaad rahta hai…rook thodi der”bolkar maine flashback me gaya…


lekin ajeeb baat hai ki Nisha se first time milne ki jo tasveer mujhe mil rahi thi….wo Eternity mall ki nahi balki River View colony ke park ki thi….toh kya matlab hai iska ki Nisha mujhse jhooth bol rahi hai ya phhir mera dimag…? pahle toh aisa kabhi nahi hua…flashback mar-mar ke toh maine 8th semester ki puri story Varun ko perfectly sunayi thi…phhir kaha galti ho rahi hai..kya flashback me jaane ki meri power khatm ho gayi hai ? ya phhir Nisha jhooth bol rahi hai….? lekin Nisha jhooth kyun bolegi….ya ye bhi ho sakta hai ki hum dono first time park me hee mile ho aur Nisha jhooth bolkar mera test le rahi ho…..ye toh sala reasoning ka question ho gaya…chalo maan lo ki hum dono yaha Eternity mall me first time mile honge, par main mall kyun aaya hounga…kapde kharidne….No Never…8th Semester ke baad toh ye sab karne ka mera mann ho hee nahi sakta toh phhir kya pizza khane…kahi yaha Dominos me toh humari pahli mulaqat nahi hui thi ? lekin yadi mujhe pizza khana hota toh main yaha 25 kilometer door nahi aata…jabki mera kaam ek call se bhi ho sakta tha….toh kya phhir grocery ke liye main mall aaya tha….

“bitch please…you are Shri Arman…grocery no… never”

“phhir kisliye aaya raha hounga…jis-se meri mulaqat is-se hui hogi….”Nisha ko dekh kar main sochane laga….aur wo mano bas mera sar kalam ke liye ekdum taiyar thi…use bas intezar tha ki kab main galat jawab du aur wo mera sar uda de


“yaad aaya…PVR me…main movie dekhne aaya tha..hai na ? ”

“right..”thoda nirash hote hue Nisha ne kaha aur uske nirash hone ki vazah shayad ye thi ki use maine wo mauka nahi diya jiski taalash me wo thi….usne mujhe khari-khoti sunane ka pura intezam kar liya tha ,shayad ek-do dialogue bhi usne soch rakha tha lekin mere sahi jawab ne uske khade armano par dhokha kar diya tha…That’s Shri Arman for you….Bitches


Isi dauran humara order bhi aa gaya par jab se maine apna dimag revine mara tha tab se mera sar me dard shuru ho gaya tha…aur pizza ka ek slice maine jaise hee uthaya , mere fefdo me aisi tez jalan hui jaise kisi ne garam angare chhua diye ho….

“kya hua, Arman….rook kyun gaye, khao na”

“pata nahi…kya hua…par mujhe ab bilkul acha nahi lag raha”ek hath se apna sar aur ek hath se apni chhati sahlate hue main bola “mera sar ghoom raha hai…aise lag raha hai jaise ki abhi bas fatne hee wala hai…lagta hai brain hamorrhage ho jayega”

“lo pani piyo”apni jagah se uthkar meri taraf ,mere bagal me aakar Nisha boli…

“pani se kuch nahi hoga…”apna sar peeche chair me tikane ke liye maine apna sar peeche kiya….lekin chair me main apna sar tika saku wo chair itni badi nahi thi….

“kaisi jhat type chair rakhi hui hai, in logo ne…chal chalte hai,yaha se…”

“chalo…”bolkar Nisha uthi aur mobile nikalkar kisi ko call karne lagi…

“kise call kar rahi hai”

“ambulance ko….”

“pagal hai kya…”uske hath se phone chhenkar main bola “wo log mujhe hospital le jayenge seedhe…”

“toh isme problem kya hai”

“prooo….blll…eeemm”bolte hue main rook gaya, kyunki ab mera seena andar se itni teji ke sath jal raha tha ki mujhse bola bhi na gaya…lekin Nisha ko batana zaroori tha ki main hospital kyun nahi ja sakta….isliye seene ki tez jalan ko bardasht karte hue maine jabarjasti apna muh khola…lekin kuch bol nahi paya

“Arman , tumhari…halat mujhe thik nahi lag rahi…mujhe ambulance ko call karne do”pareshan hote hue Nisha boli…waha aas-paas logo ki bheed bhi lagi hui thi…lekin sab sirf mujhe dekh rahe the…waise mujhe kisi se koyi ummid bhi nahi thi aur na hee mujhe kisi se koyi shikayat thi… because I hate everyone…..

“Armaan…”

“Armaan nahi Arman…A-r-m-a-n…”

“just shut up…”gusse se cheekhte hue Nisha ne kaha aur mere hath se mobile chheen kar number dial karne lagi…

“samjha kar…mujhe koyi chhoti-moti type ki bimari nahi hai…jo hospital me jakar thik ho jaunga…mujhe jo bimari hai…usme bahut time aur bahut paisa lagega aur hospital wale mere ghar par khabar kar denge…jiske baad , wo mujhe hamesha kahenge ki, main aaj unki vazah se zinda hoon….”apni chhati par mukke marte hue main bola “chal, parking me chal…mujhe pata hai ki ye kaise thik hoga”
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Meri baat sunkar bhi Nisha nahi mani aur usne ambulance ko call kar hee diya…yani ki use mere ego ki koyi parwah hee nahi…isiliye main us-se nafrat karta hoon…jaan ka kya hai..agle janam me mujhe dusari mil jayegi…lekin ego…wo main ek baar tootne ke baad kaha se launga…

“main khane ke bina kuch hafte jee sakta hoon….paani ke bina kuch din aur oxygen ke bina shayad kuch minutes….lekin ego ke bina…ego ke bina main ek second bhi nahi jee sakta…”
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Isiliye Nisha ne jaise hee ambulance ko call kiya , main parking ki taraf ladkhadate hue teji se bhagne laga…mera irada ab ambulance ke aane se pahle waha se rafoo chakkar hona tha….taki main hospital na ja paun…

“acha hua…car lekar aaya tha…yadi bike lekar aaya hota toh parabolic ki jagah aaj bike chalate hue hyperbolic curve banta..chal ,ab nikal le”badbadate hue maine car ka gate khola 

Itne me waha Nisha bhi aa gayi…meri aankhe is waqt bahut jal rahi thi aur mujhe sabkuch dhundhla dikhayi pad raha tha…lekin us dundhale drishya me bhi main Nisha ka gussa dekh sakta tha…aur sath hee uska mayoos chehra bhi….car ki chabhi uske taraf fek-kar maine us-se puchha

“car chala legi,kya…”

“ambulance aa rahi hai aur tum usi me seedhe hospital jaoge”

“yaani ki na…koyi baat nahi, main khud chala lunga”dono hath se apne sar ka baal kheechkar main bola…jiske baad Nisha ne turant car ki chabhi uthayi aur mujhe car ke andar baithakar driving seat par baith gayi….

“bas tum aaj zinda bach jao….phhir main kabhi tumhare sath kahi nahi jaungi”

“aise bhi koyi…bre…bre…brreeeee…..breakup karta hai kya…Nisha mera muh jam ho ra…raha hai….by the way, nice dress…kitne me liya..ekdum kamal hai aur sandel bhi mast hai…usme jo blue colour ki strip hai na , us…uska kya kahna…aur hairband…wow..just amazing…tumhari aankh…tumhari aankhe aaj neeli hai, shayad scattering ki vazah se…nahi scattering nahi….scattering nahi…lense ki vazah se…”


Mera itna kahna tha ki Nisha car chalate hue hee rone lagi…jise dekhkar main soch me pad gaya…ki main toh bas uski tareef kar raha tha…taaki wo normal ho jaye…maine kuch galat kaha kya ? anyway…

“rok…rok…”achanak jor se chillate hue maine Nisha ko car rokne ke liye kaha….

“kyun kya hua…”

“mujhe mera ilaaz mil gaya…jaldi se rok…haan, rok diya….ab thoda reverse maar….ab thoda baye le….bas..bas…tu yahi rah main abhi aaya”

Car se neeche utarkar maine apne wallet se hazar ka note nikala aur apne samne bani daru ki dukan se ek quarter liya…..

“kyun be…mere area me toh dhayi sau ka ek pavva aata hai…tune toh teen sau kat liye…ajab andhi chod rahe ho, lawda…khair koyi baat nahi”
Quarter lekar main car me aaya…aur Nisha se car full speed me bhagane ke liye kaha…

“dekh be…paani ke bina kadwa toh lagega lekin ek yahi chiz hai ,jo tujhe normal bhi karegi….naak band karke ek saans me jitna pee sakta hai pee le”


lekin main daru ki botal ka dhakkan kholta uske pahle hee car sadak par daudte hue achanak se apne aap bahut jor se hilne lagi…Car me rakhi har ek chiz…sab apni jagah par vibrate karne lagi….maine Nisha ki taraf dekha lekin ab wo driving seat par nahi thi…wo driving seat se mano achanak gayab ho gayi thi,lekin car ab bhi sadak par daud rahi thi…aur tabhi meri nazar car ke baahar samne ki taraf gayi….aur saamne ka nazara dekh kar mere dimag ne kaam karna band diya tha….itna vishal aur bhayankar drishya maine apne zindagi me aaj tak nahi dekha tha…matlab ki koyi is drishya ko kaise describe kare….

“iski maa ka …..ye kya hai be….tsunami…” turant koodkar driving seat par aate hue main bola aur apni seat belt kaskar bandh li 


Maine dekha ki mere samne paani ki vishal dharaye tezi se meri taraf hee badh rahi hai , wo samundar ka ufaan itna bada tha ki Nagpur ki badi-badi building bhi bhi uske same chhoti lag rahi thi aur apne samne aane wali har chiz ko wo ukhad kar apne sath baha rahi thi….chahe phhir wo buildings ho ya phhir sadak ke kinare lage ped ya phhir khud sadak….maine turant car reverse mari aur full acelerator markar car bhagane laga….mere aas paas aur bhi log the jo ki us tsunami se bachne ke liye bhag rahe the…wo sab cheekh rahe the, chilla rahe the…lekin Samundar ki un vishal aur bhayankar dharao ke aage un sabki aawaz mano dab gayi thi….mere dekhte hee dekhte kitne log , kitni gadiya us sunami me sama gayi thi lekin main bacha raha …aur bhagta raha….lekin ek agle chaurahe par car modte waqt na jaane ek truck kaha se saamne aa gaya aur meri car ko usne samne se thok diya jis-se meri car palti marne lagi….
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“acha batao…hum dono pahli baar kaha mile the….”car ke sath jab main bhi palti kha raha tha toh mujhe ye aawaz sunayi di…lekin ye aawaz toh Nisha ki thi

“kyun batau ? ja nahi batata”mere muh se ye shabd apne aap nikla ,pata nahi kaise par mere muh se ye shabd apne aap hee nikal gaye…jaise ki bhagwan ne script likh rakhi ho ki Arman marte waqt ye shabd bolega….lekin ye silsila yahi nahi ruka mujhe aur bhi shabd sunayi diya aur maine kayi baar automatically reply bhi diya

“are batao na…”

“pahle 100 de phhir bataunga”

“chalo de diya ,maan lo”

“toh maine bata diya, tu bhi maan le”

“ab samjhi…tumhe yaad hee nahi hai ki, hum pahli baar kaha mile the…hai na..”

“yaad…mujhe sab yaad rahta hai…rook thodi der”


Itna bolte hee maine gaur kiya ki main khoon se lathpath hoon aur pani ki vishal dharaye bas mujhtak pahuchne hee waiI hai…is waqt mera sar dard nahi ho raha tha aur na hee meri chhati jal rahi thi… maine car ke andar har us pal ko mahsoos kiya jab main mar raha tha…maine mahsoos kiya ki kaise meri car sunami me samayi…kaise pani tezi se meri car ke andar ghusa aur kaise mera dam ghut raha tha aur kaise maine us car ke andar hee apna dam tod diya…..
.


“acha batao…hum dono pahli baar kaha mile the….”apni muskan jaari rakhte hue usne mujhse pucha…

“kyun batau ? ja nahi batata…..rook …main yaha kaise main toh just abhi-abhi mar gaya tha…”bolkar maine apne aas paas dekha toh paya ki main toh Eternity mall me hee hoon aur mere left side…Nisha khadi hai…actually left side nahi….right side me…maine gaur kiya mere pure kapde sukhe hai aur paani ka koyi nam-o-nishan tak nahi tha…

“Arman batao na hum pahli baar kaha mile the…”

“kya ye real hai ya ye bhi mera hallucination hai”

“acha ab main samjhi ,tumhe yaad hee nahi ki hum pahli baar kaha mile the”

“PVR me mile the…kitni baar batau…aur yadi tu mujhse zara sa bhi…electron ke size ke barabar bhi pyar karti hai toh please do minute ke liye chup ho ja…”

“okay….”mera hath pakad kar bachcho ki tarah hilate hue Nisha boli….
.

Maine apna sar jor se hilaya aur sochne laga ki actually ho kya raha hai….

“main Nisha ke sath Dominos me tha…jaha humne pizza order kiya ,lekin main pizza khata uske pahle hee mere sar me tez dard shuru ho gaya aur Nisha mujhe waha se bahar le aayi…jiske baad maine daru li lekin usi samay Nisha car se achanak chhoo mantar ho gayi aur car vibrate hone lagi….ye vibration aksar usi samay hota hai…jab main apne banaye virtual world se haqiqat me laut raha hota hoon…yani ki mujhe us samay jab car vibrate ho rahi thi…tab haqiqat me laut aana chahiye tha…lekin aisa hua nahi aur main wahi raha…jiske baad ek truck ne meri car ko thoka aur phhir us car me marne ke baad main wapas yaha aaya…toh kya ye haqiqat hai ? lag toh yahi raha hai…par sochane wali baat ye hai ki jab car vibrate kar rahi thi toh main wapas kyun nahi aa paya….khamkha mujhe marne ka experience lena pada…sala us sunami me dum ghutne ko main abhi bhi mahsoos kar sakta hoon..anyway, ant bhala toh sab bhala”
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“Arman chalo, Dominos me chalte hai..”mera hath pakad kar hilate hue Nisha mujhse boli

“Dominos…pagal hai kya, sunami aa jayegi…Dominos me”

“sunami….? toh phhir kaha chale”

“ bar chal, aaj tujhe daru pilata hoon”
.

main aur Nisha Eternity ke andar bane beer bar ya disco bar…jo bhi kah lo…uske andar gaye aur ek kone ki table pakad kar baith gaye…main chah raha tha ki Nisha mere kinare me mujhse bilkul satkar baithe…wo mere paas baithi toh thi par satkar nahi…

“itna door hee baithna hota toh main beer bar ke mid point me tere sath baithta na…jaha roshni hai…yaha andhere me nahi”kahte hue main intezaar karne laga ki Nisha ab mere karib aayegi…lekin jab wo mere karib nahi aayi toh main hee uski taraf khisak gaya aur uske kandhe par hath rakh kar bola…

“acha Nisha ,ye bata…kya legi pahle aur kaha legi”

“maza ya sprite…”

“white maza ?”

“Arrmaaaan….”

“dil pe mat le…mazak kar raha tha…chal acha , tu aaj mujhse kuch bhi puch le…main uska sahi jawab dunga…phhir main tujhse kuch puchunga jiska tujhe bhi sahi jawab dena padega”

“sach”

“haan”apna hath Nisha ke kandhe se neeche le jaate hue main bola

“mujhe sochne do…hmmm…acha ye batao ,tumhari favorite actress kaun si hai…”

“koyi si bhi nahi….”

“tumne bola tha ki, tum mujhe sach bataoge….”

“toh sach hee toh bata raha hoon…meri favorite actress time to time change hoti rahti hai…zaroorat ke hisab se ”

“ok…ab ye batao ki tum mere sath Mardani aur Mary Kom movie dekhne kyun nahi aaye the…”

“main wo movie bilkul nahi dekhta, jisme koyi lady lead role me ho… isliye tere sath nahi aaya tha…kyunki mujhe feeling nahi aati”

“toh kya iska matlab ye hai ki tum sexist ho….jo ladke-ladki me bhedbhav karte ho ”

“maybe…I dont know…”Nisha ke boobs par apna hath le jakar rakhte hue main bola 

“aur puch na kuch, maza aa raha hai”

“tumhara favorite actor kaun hai…”

“isme main thoda confuse hoon..matlab do favorite hai…”

“ek toh Robert Downey Jr. hai aur dusara…? ”

“wahi apne Jackie dada…Black pearl wale…”

“acha wo…Jack Sparrow”

“Captain Jack Sparrow… ”bolkar main Nisha ke ek boobs ko sahlane laga aur jab usne koyi virodh nahi kiya toh maine thoda aur force apply kiya aur uske boobs ko dabana shuru kar diya…

“acha ye batao Arman….”

“ho gaya na…kitna puchegi…ab meri bari…”Nisha ke boobs ko pura bheenchkar main bola

“nahi..ek …eee..kkk…ek aur…tumhari favorite story kaun hai aur favorite writer…let me guess Chetan Bhagat”

“Munshi Premchand….the Vampire , Shakespeare aur favorite story hai Godan…Bunglow no.13 ,Dead never lie…ab tera time khatm hua aur mujhe afsos hai ki tune itna acha mauka gawa diya…matlab tu mujhse kuch bhi puch sakti thi…kuch bhi matlab kuch bhi…lekin tune ise aise hee gawa diya…aur ab main puchhunga”
maine apna hath hatakar wapas Nisha ke kandhe par rakha aur dheere dheere uski dress ke andar neeche sarkane laga aur jaise hee mera hath Nisha ke dress ke andar uski bra se touch hua maine us-se pucha…

“tune bra kaun si colour ki pahni hai”

“light blue”

“aur neeche wala”

“panty ?”

“hmm”

“same color”


Nisha ki bra ke andar hath dalte hee mera rom-rom machal utha tha , maine dusara hath Nisha ki jangh par rakha aur ahiste-ahiste uski choot tak pahuch gaya….ab Nisha bhi full mood me aa gayi thi aur use kiss karne ke liye maine jaise hee apne honth uske honth ke karib laye toh us andhere me mujhe Nisha ke baju me ek aur ladki baithi hui dikhai di…jo ki mujhe hee ghoor rahi thi…uski aankhe surkh laal thi aur baal bikhre hue hawa me lahra rahe the…….

“Aradhna…? ”darkar maine Nisha ko ek jhatke me khud se alag kiya 

“kaun Aradhna”

“Aradhna matlab…prathna…mera mann kar raha hai ki main tumhari Aradhna karu…room me le jakar”apni jagah par khada hote hue main bola “chal…yaha se…”

“lekin kyun”

“ashleel ladki…chal, chalkar kuch khate peete hai…bahut bhookh lagi hai mujhe”

“Dominos”

“tujhe bataya toh tha ki, waha jaunga toh sunami aa jayegi…tujhe kya…tu toh car se achanak gayab ho jayegi…marna toh mujhe padega….chal chalkar samosa khate hai”

“sunami…car ,ye kya bol rahe ho tum…mujhe toh kuch bhi samajh nahi aa raha hai”

“ye sab psychological baate hai…teri samajh me nahi aayegi”
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Nisha ke sath ghanto Eternity me ghumne ke baad humne ek movie dekhi aur phhir River View Colony ke liye ravana ho gaye…

“Desai ji kuch nahi bolenge kya ki tu kaha thi…”hum River View se kuch hee doori par the toh maine Nisha se puchha

“nahi…aur yadi wo puchhenge toh main bol dungi ki main na..shopping karne gayi thi…Shipra aur Sonam ke sath….par mujhe maloom hai ki wo nahi puchhenge ”

“badhiya hai…ye bata ki kya sach me tera necklace dedh lakh ka hai…ya fake rahi hai”

“isme koyi shaq hai kya…mere paas toh dhayi laakh ka bhi hai…wo main tumhe kal dikhaungi”

“tu toh mere ummid se jyada rahis hai….do-char laakh mujhe udhar de de…”

“mere account me abhi seventy thousands hai bas…chahiye toh bolo”

“rahne de…kitni achi hai tu Nisha…kash ki tere jaise wo bhi hoti…”

“wo ? kaun wo ?”
“koyi nahi…”

“batao na kaun”muhe pakad kar hilate hue Nisha puchhi…

Nisha ke is sawal par main kuch der chup raha aur phhir ek jordar lambi saans li lekin main apni wo lambi saans complete kar pata uske pahle hee Nisha ek aur baar mujhe hila kar puchhi.... "wo kaun ? "

“arey Sonam…! aur kaun.... kash ki tere jaise hee Sonam bhi hoti toh Varun kitna lucky rahta”kahte hue maine car apne flat ke saamne rok di aur Nisha ki taraf dekha…wo kafi khush lag rahi thi…mere muh se apni tareef sunkar….

“acha,Arman… ok…bye…Good Night”car se utar kar usne mujhse kaha….

“good night…tumhara Necklace acha hai”

“main janti hoon…thank you”apne ghar ki taraf jate hue palat kar mujhse boli…

“tumhari sandel bhi mast hai…khaskar ke usme lagi blue strip”

“thanks…ab jao bhi”ek baar phhir palatkar Nisha ne mujhe thanks kaha

“aur tumhara ,hairband kamal ka hai…kal mujhe de dena…main bhi lagaunga….”bolkar main intezaar karne laga ki Nisha ek baar phhir thanks bolegi….lekin abki baar uski taraf se koyi responce nahi aaya….shayad usne meri aawaz hee na suni ho ya phhir sunkar ansuna kar diya ho…God Knows.

Nisha aaj bahut khush thi….lekin gaur karne walI baat jo thi ki kya main khush tha ? kya mujhe Nisha wakayi me utni achi lagti hai jitna ki main uske achi hone ka dikhawa karta hoon….? kya Nisha mere layak hai…? Yadi gaur kiya jaye aaj ke incidents par toh in teeno ka jawab jo milta hai wo hai….Naa.

Car rakhne ke baad maine daru aur bisleri ki botal ek-ek jeb me bhari aur room lock karke park ki taraf chal diya….raat ke dus baj chuke the aur park band ho chuka tha…isliye park me mere daru peene ka ye best time tha….maine botal deewar par rakhi aur deewar chadhne ke liye apna hath deewar par rakha hee tha ki kisi ne mujhe peeche se aawaz di….


.
“hey mister…kaun ho tum…aur itni raat ko park ke paas kya kar rahe ho”

“chal na be…nikal yaha se…”bina pichhe mude deewar par chadhne ki koshish karte hue main bola….lekin isi beech uski aawaz phhir se mere kaano me gunji…

“main tumhe last warning de rahi hoon…seedhe se neeche utarte ho ya police ko call karu”

“warning de rahi hoon….rahi hoon…? yani ki ek ladki…par iski aawaz sunkar mujhe aisa kyun laga ki aawaz kisi ladke ki hai…kya ab mere liye male aur female ki aawaz ko pahchan pana bhi mushqil ho gaya hai…? ek minute , brain ko refresh karta hoon ….” maine apna sar jor se hilaya jisase mujhe uski aawaz kisi ladki ki aawaz ki tarah lagne lagi

“tum peeche mudo…kahi chori karne toh nahi aaye yaha”

“haan…ab thik hai ..ab iski aawaz lag rahi hai ki kisi ladki ki hai”peeche mudkar main bola“par ye ladki nahi hai….ye toh ek budhiya hai…”

“hey…buddhi kisko bola…”

“chalo na aunty…kyun dimag kha reli ho….”

“abhi main police ko phone karti hoon”

“us se kya hoga”

“wo tumhe pakad ke le jayenge”

“aur yadi uske pahle ,main apko jaan se markar bhag gaya toh…soch kar dekho…sochne wali baat hai” 

“Kya matlab hai tumhara”sakpaka kar peeche hat-te hue us aunty ne mujhse pucha

“janeman ,main toh kitne din se tumhare intezaar me tha…aur aaj tum aa gayi… main abhich chaku se tumhara pet fadunga aur tumhari kaleji ko chakna ke taur par istemal karke daru piyunga ”kahte hue maine apni jacket me hath dala hee tha ki wo aurat udhar se khishak li aur uske udhar se khisakte hee main bhi udhar se khisak liya….


Agle din subah maine Varun ke through Shipra…Nisha…Sonam….David aur 5-6 logo ko raat me party ka invitation diya…jiske taiyari ki sari jimmedari Varun ki thi….siway ek kaam ke. Aur wo ek kaam tha beer aur daru kharid kar lana….jise main karne wala tha….par mujhe tension is baat ki nahi thi ki..itna sara intezam Varun akele kaise kaise karega….balki mujhe tension is baat ki thi ki aaj office me Vandana Rathi mera kya haal karegi….kal toh maine leave le liya tha….lekin aaj mujhe har haal me office pahuchna tha….aur Vandana mam ka samna karna tha….main abhi isi soch me dooba hua tha ki mujhe pata hee nahi laga ki kab auto me mere bagal me ek ladki aakar baith gayi aur shayad mujhe pure raste bhar ye pata na chalta yadi wo jor-jor se phone me baat na karti toh….aur jab main hosh me aaya toh maine tirachhi nazar se use dekha….

“item….kya khushboo mar reli hai baap , mann toh karta hai ki auto me hee taang utha kar chod du…”tirachhi nazar se use dekhte hue maine socha….

“bhaiya ,auto thoda dheere karna toh….aawaz thik se sunayi nahi de rahi hai”auto wale ke kandhe par hath rakh kar wo boli aur auto wale ki mazal ki wo uski baat na mane , auto wale ne turant auto ki speed kam kar di….

Shuru me toh mera dil kiya ki auto wale ko bolu ki auto ki speed kam na kare…mujhe office ke liye der ho raha hai…lekin phhir maine socha ki jitna hee dheere wo auto chalayega ,utni hee der tak main aur wo maal ek dusare ke sath ,ek hee seat me rahenge….aur waise bhi Rathi mujhe pelne wali hai hee toh phhir jaldi jaane ka kya fayda….yahi sochkar main chup raha….

“haan ,hello…main Khushboo bol rahi hoon…ye mera new number hai….Dileep ko ye number de dena aur bolna ki mujhe call kare….”thoda tez aawaz me wo boli…

“Dileep…huh ,ghatiya name”
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Sharda Vihar pahuchne ke baad maine sabse pahle jo ek kaam kiya ki main sabse pahle bathroom gaya aur phhir wapas aakar do glass paani piya….

“kya ladki thi…kuch der ke liye toh mere rom-rom me rum sama gaya tha….use abhi tak mahsoos kar sakta hoon main… ”

“Arman ,bhau…Vandana madam boli hai ki jaise hee aap aaoge toh aapko unke cabin me bheju”mere paas aakar Jagat ne mujhe Rathi mam ka farman sunaya

“gusse me hai kya….”

“wo toh hardum gusse me rahti hai…mujhe toh lagta hai ki Vandana mam , Hulk hai…jo har dum gusse me rahti hai”

Vandana Rathi ne mujhe cabin me bulaya hai…ye sunkar maine ek glass paani aur piya aur seedhe uske cabin me pravesh kiya….

“aapne mujhe bulaya mam…”masoomiyat ke sath Vandana Rathi ki taraf dekh kar main bola….

“mujhe tumse kuch nahi bolna…tum jaiso ko main bahut ache tarike se janti hoon…tumhare samne table me do letter pade hai…jisme se ek blank hai ”

Maine samne dekha aur jaisa ki Vandana Rathi Ne kaha tha ,mere samne table par do letter fold kiye hue rakhe the….

“un do me se ek balank hai aur ek jo blank nahi hai ,wo tumhara resignation letter hai ,jisme tum sign karoge”apna gala fadte hue Vandana mam boli…“aur yadi tumhe resignation letter par sign nahi karna hai toh, jo dusara blank letter hai…uspar tum mujhse maafi magoge aur is office me kaam karne wale har ek member ka sign loge….ab choice tumhari hai ki tum kya choose karna chahte ho ”

“par mam ye toh sarasar…”

“no sorry…no excuse…”

Maine Vandana Rathi ki taraf dekha….kitna ghamand tha uske andar aur kaise choot jaisi shakl bana kar wo mujhpe baras rahi thi…par ye samay josh me aane ka nahi tha…kyunki , mujhe is naukri ki shakt zaroorat thi upar se main naukri milne ki khushi me aaj raat ko sabko party bhi de raha tha…yadi josh josh me maine resignation letter par sign kar diya toh kya bolunga un sabse…David toh isi intezaar me baitha rahta hai ki kab wo mujhe neecha dikha sake….abhi tak toh main isliye itna udd raha tha kyunki mere paas naukri thi…Varun ko kya bolunga aur kab tak uske paise par aish karta rahunga…maine gaur kiya hai ki jabse maine Sharda Vihar join kiya hai wo mujhse khush rahta hai….warna pahle kabhi-kabhi wo mujhse chidh jata tha… in sabhi problems ko main door kar sakta hoon sirf ek letter se, jisme mujhe Vandana Rathi se sirf sorry bolna tha aur office me kaam karne wale pure staff ke sirf signature lene the…simple…ye baat alag hai ki phhir office me kaam karne wale sare log mujhpar hasenge aur meri izzat down ho jayegi…lekin itna toh main kar hee sakta hoon….

“toh , kya choose kiya tumne…”meri khilli udane wale andaz me R.Rathi mujhse puchhi...

“Resignation……”maine jawab diya

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“what…..seriously ?”apni aankhe badi karke Vandana Rathi boli….jiske jawab me maine apne jeb se goggle nikalkar pahana…

“that’s Shri Arman for you………bitches….ye raha resignation letter me mera sign…”

Resignation letter me sign markar main utha aur seedhe Sharda Vihar ke bahar aaya…aur angadayi lete hue khud se kaha “BC, phhir se berojgar…ab phhir se resume dalna padega…phhir se interview dena padega aur phhir se naye logo se milna padega….that’s why i hate everyone”
.


Kitna ajeeb ittefaq tha ki jis din main apne naukri lagne ki party de raha tha usi din meri naukri mujhse chhoot gayi thi…par main ye sab kisi ko nahi bata sakta tha…na Nisha ko aur na hee Varun ko….isliye aaj mujhe mere naukri lagne ki party deni hee thi…maine Sharda complex ke paas bane ATM me apna balance check kiya….jis factory me main pahle kaam karta tha un logo ne mere teen mahine ki salary mujhe naukri se nikalte waqt de di thi aur usme se ab mere paas kitna bacha hai yahi check karne ke liya main ATM me ghusa….

“ bas 30,000…itne se kya hoga …jaldi hee dusari job dhoondani padegi…ek kidney bech doon kya ,BC…pura tension hee khatm”

“wo bhi koyi nahi lega,…alchoholic kidney”

“toh phhir kya karu”

“itna ameer dost hai, itni ameer girlfriend hai…aur kya chahiye tujhe , bas dono se ladayi mat karna….”

“ tera matlab equilibrium phenomenon use karu…matlab ki dono ke sath equilibrium me rahu ? ”

“yo, Version 3.0”

“samajh gaya…ab dekh main kaise Equilibrium banata hoon …thanx , Version 2.0”

“ you’re most welcome….3.0”
.

Sharda Enterprises se nikale jaane ke baad chahe main jitna bhi cool rahne ka dikhawa kar loon…chahe jitne bhi jokes maru ya chutiyapa karu…par haqiqat toh ye thi ki main andar se bahut udas tha isliye main chup chap auto me bina koyi bawal khada kiye apne room pahucha aur room pahuchte hee maine dekha ki waha ka toh mahol hee alag hai….mere flat me is waqt Varun apne kuch dosto ke sath flat ko sajane me laga hua tha aur un sabko lead kar rahi thi…Sonam  maaadharchod…choot ki jhat…. maine dekha ki Sonam mere bed par khadi hokar…mere bed pe khadi hokar…mere…bed…peeee….khadi….hoo…kar…Varun & comapany ko instruction de rahi thi…wo kabhi kisi ko ,chair idhar se udhar khiskane ko bolti toh kabhi kisi ko fugga fulane ke liye bol rahi thi….Varun toh BC balcony me jhadu mar raha tha….. gandu ,sala….

“itna chutiyapa kaise kar lete hai ye log….itna khush toh tab main khud nahi tha , jab meri job lagi thi….upar se ab toh Rathi ne laat markar bhaga diya hai….aur Varun…ye toh ,lawda…choot ke peeche pata nahi kya-kya karega….pahle Reema aur ab Sonam….wo toh friendynamic ke mere first law ne mujhe rok rakha hai…warna Sonam ko aisa jhadta ki har jagah se jhad jati….dekho toh BC ko kaise role pel rahi hai ,wo bhi mere bistar par khade hokar….aur lawda ye Varun….ise koyi kaam dham nahi hai kya….”un sabko waha dekhkar maine socha aur phhir plan kiya ki sar dard ka bahana markar chupke se ek kinare aankh band karke sad songs sununga…

“arey Arman..aaj tu ,itni jaldi aa gaya”mujhe dekhkar Varun ne jhadu wahi balcony me feka aur mere paas aaya….

“kya isi din ke liye uncle-aunty ne tujhe pal poskar bada kiya tha ki tu ek ladki ke kahne par jhadu mare….aur ye kya natak laga rakha hai be…ye fugga-vugga kyun fula rahe ho…”

“guess kar”

“isme guess karne wali kaun si baat hai…mere naukri chhootne I mean mere naukri lagne ki khushi me party hone wali hai…”

“pagal hai kya…uske liye main itni taiyari karunga kya…guess kar”

“bata na”

“Sonam se main ab shadi karunga….”

“shadi…aur Sonam se…abey, tera dimag toh sahi hai na aur tu mujhe ab bata raha hai…matlab ye sab kab….kaise…kyun…what the fuck…”
Sonam se Varun shadi karne ke mood me hai, ye sunkar mere chehre ka rang hee udd gaya…matlab rang toh pahle se hee uda hua tha par ab mera pura chehra rangheen ho gaya tha…mujhe samajh nahi aata ki mere jaan pahchan wale aksar usi shaks se shadi kyun karte hai,jise main pasand nahi karta hoon…pahle Vipin bhaiya ne Pandey ji ki badi beti se shadi ki…matlab karne wale the aur ab Varun , Sonam ke sath set hone ja raha hai…

“toh ye party mere naukri lagne ki khushi me nahi hai” 

“do-do baar party dega kya naukri lagne ki khushi me… ? ”

“do-do bar se tera matlab..”jeb se cigarette nikalkar muh me fasate hue maine puchha…


“dekh yaha abhi Sonam hai aur thodi der me uski friends bhi aa jayegi toh please cigarette mat pi…”mere muh se cigarette nikal kar dustbin me nishana lagakar Varun bola… “I missed it ….as expected….Arman, tu kaise kar leta hai ye ”
“yadi nishana kharab hai toh thoda daye ya baye nishana laga…guarantee toh nahi hai par kabhi-kabhi tukka lag jata hai aur main kaise karta hoon, ye toh na hee main tujhe bata sakta hoon aur na hee tu samajh sakta hai…I mean…isme angle…height…dustbin se distance …sab calculate karna padta hai…khair chhod ,tu kya bol raha tha ki main do-do party dunga kya naukri ki ? par wo toh maine Nisha ko di hai na …tum logo ko kaha di…ab ye mat bolna ki Nisha ko party de di…matlab tum sabko de di…seedhe-seedhe bol ki tune Sonam ke kahne par meri party cancel kar di hai…ye jyada ghuma-fira kar baat karne ki na toh mujhe aadat hai aur na hee sunne ki…”

“tu Mazak kar raha hai na…”thoda haste hue Varun ne mujhse kaha

“no..”

“abey kal hee toh tune hum sabko ,is flat me party di thi…tu maal(ganja) peekar aaya hai kya aur tu Nisha ke sath mall kal nahi parso gaya tha”

“ab, tu Mazak kar raha hai…”

“dekh Arman mere paas faltu baat ke liye time nahi hai…kya, tujhe sach me kal raat ka kuch bhi yaad nahi hai…ya tu bas aise hee time pass kar raha hai…yadi timepass kar raha hai toh thik hai, warna tu mere sath abhi doctor ke paas chal”bolte hue Varun ne apna mobile jeb se nikala aur mujhe kal raat ki photos dikhane laga…

“ye dekh…tu kaise kal daru pee ke langar dance kar raha tha…”

“actually main, Mazak kar raha tha…yar…tu toh janta hee hai mujhe”Varun ke hath se maine mobile liya aur apne bistar par ek kinare jakar baith gaya….
.

“Ye photo to meri hee hai aur location bhi humare flat ki hee hai…”apna sar ko ek hath se dabate hue Varun ke mobile me apne photos ko dekhkar maine socha“toh kya iska matlab Varun sach kah raha tha…? par mujhe toh kal raat ka kuch bhi yaad nahi…kal raat ka kya mujhe toh kal din ka bhi kuch yaad nahi hai…ye kaise mumkin hai…kahi ye sab log milkar mujhse koyi game toh nahi khel rahe…par in photos me toh main bhi full enjoy kar raha hai…phhir mujhe kal ka kaise kuch yad nahi hai…chalo maan lete hai ki maine pel ke daru pee hogi aur mujhe kuch yaad nahi raha hoga…lekin BC kal pura din maine kya kiya…office toh gaya nahi..warna resignation letter Vandana Rathi kal hee thama deti…kya ho raha hai ye…situation toh din ba din bigadti ja rahi hai…kuch toh sochna padega…”

“Arman, ek kaam kar doge kya….”mere bistar par khadi Sonam ne jab mujhe pukara toh mera dhyan uski taraf gaya aur maine haan me apni garden hilayi….
“balloons shayad kam pad jayenge…tum jakar do packet aur le aaoge please”

“balloons matlab”maine pucha

Aur mere aisa puchhte hee waha mauzood har ek shaks chauk gaya , wo sab jo-jo kaam kar rahe the ,wo sab kaam chhodkar meri taraf dekhne lage…jisase main samajh gaya ki zaroor maine kuch aisa kiya hai, jo ekdum se unexpected raha hoga….

“Sonam, tumne kya kaha…maine thik se suna nahi”

“maine kaha ki, balloons kam pad jayenge…tum dukan se aur do packet le aao”

“main hoon lene jata balloons….mera matlab main balloons lene jata hoon”apne laal hue chehre par hath ferkar main bola aur flat se bahar aa gaya

“balloons…what the hell is this…”google me search marte hue main badbadaya aur jab mujhe balloons ki pics google me dikhi toh maine apna sar peet liya…

“ise balloons kahte hai…balloon ….balloons ….balloon….lagta hai aaj kal jo mere dimag me chal raha hai us-se mere sochne samajhne ki Shakti par bhi asar pad raha hai…warna main kya ye nahi janunga ki balloon ka matlab kya hota hai… faltu me bezzati ho gayi”
.


“kya chahiye….”jab main ek dukan par gaya toh us dukan wale ne mujhe dekh kar kaha

“mujhe…kya bolte hai use….”kahte hue main apne hath ko gol gol ghumane laga taki dukandar samajh jaye ki mujhe kya chahiye….maine apne muh ke andar hawa bharkar hanuman ji ke mafiq apna muh bhi fulaya ,lekin dukandar samajhne ki bajay meri taraf gusse se dekhne laga….

“chal be ,nikal…pagal sala”meri ajeeb –ajeeb harkate dekhkar dukandar ne kaha

“kis chutiye ko dukan me baitha ke rakhe ho be….grahak ko gali deta hai..ye sale naukar”

“naukar kisko bola be…tu naukar kisko bola”meri taraf taav se badhte hue wo cheekha..

“yaha tere aalawa aur koyi hai kya be…jo kisi aur bolunga…tujhe hee bola”

“aise kaise tune mujhe naukar bola…”

“dekh bhai…tera role jyada nahi hai…isliye jyada dialogue bol kar scene lamba mat kar….aur jaldi se do packet…ye de….”bolkar maine mobile me dukandar ko balloons ki pic dikhayi ,jo maine raste me download kar li thi…

“nahi dunga…”

“dekh lawda, jyada mat uchak….warna muh me mutth mar dunga…”

“teri toh…ruk tu”bahar meri taraf badhte hue wo phhir cheekha….

jiske turant baad maine mere samne dukan me rakhi chocolates ke dibbe me se ek dibba uthaya aur uska dhakkan kholkar pura ka pura dibba wahi zameen me bikher diya….Mere dwara dibba kholkar chocolates bikherne ke karan ab dukandar meri taraf na aakar neeche giri hui chocolates uthane me lag gaya tha aur main bade aaram se waha se khisak liya…….
.

“kitni der kar di tumne Arman….kya kar rahe the tum itni der…”jab main room pahucha toh gusse se Sonam mujhse boli….

“Sonam…teri na, main maa chod dunga…tu mujhse baat mat kiya kar”

“ab aise kya dekh rahe ho…kuch bologe bhi….”abki baar aur tez se Sonam boli

“kya ise gali sunayi nahi di ? ya maine gali di hee nahi ?”

“chhodo bhi…”mere hath se balloons ka packet chheenkar Sonam ne mujhe dhikkara aur saaj sajawat ke kaam me wapas busy ho gayi….

Mera khas dost Varun shadi karne ka faisla le raha tha...isliye mujhe khush hona chahiye tha aur raat ko jo function rakha gaya tha usme uski madad karna chahiye tha lekin is samay na toh main khush tha aur na hee unki koyi madad kar raha tha….Varun ne jab balcony me jhadu mar diya toh main balcony me jakar khada ho gaya aur balcony me khade hokar colony me bane flats ko dekhne laga…

“Vandana Rathi ka flat , wo udhar hoga… E Series me…raat me jakar sali ko tochan du kya ?…lekin agar usne police me complain kar di toh ? chhod deta hoon randi ko….warna khamkha police ka lafda ho jayega…”

Isliye filhal maine Vandana mam ko tochan dene ka khayal apne mann se nikala aur colony me bane dusare makan ki taraf dekhne laga….main waha bahut der tak khada raha aur waha bane makano ka deedar karta raha…aur phhir kisi ne peeche se mujhe aawaz di…

“ja be…Varun bula raha hai…kahi jana hai usko”

“Varun ..mujhe bula raha hai….par....”


Main apni baat bhi complete nahi kar paya tha ki mujhe aisa laga jaise kisi ne koyi bhari chiz mere sar par de mari ho….mera pura bheja hil gaya aur uske baad ek baar phhir se mujhe wahi aawaz sunayi dobara di….matlab dobara sunayi di

“ja be…Varun bula raha hai…kahi jana hai usko”

“tune mujhe mara…teri toh”gusse se tharrate hue main peeche palta aur jaise hee peeche muda mera pura gussa chhoo mantar ho gaya…..

“Vipin bhaiya…? ”

“dekh Arman…tujhe toh pata hee hai ki papa ko tera Varun ke sath ghoomna pasand nahi hai aur wo Varun….ye sab jante hue bhi tujhse milne aaya hai”

“aaj taarikh kaun si hai”

“15th July ”

“ 2009 ?”

Maine Vipin bhaiya se saal kya puch liya ,wo mujhe aise dekhne lage jaise maine unse saal nahi balki unki item ka figure puchh liya ho….

“haan…2009 hee chal raha hai ”

“15th july , 2009…yani abhi hum dono ki school me ladayi nahi hui hai…”

“kya matlab hai tera ki hum dono ki ladayi nahi hui hai…kal hee toh maine tujhe ground me do thappad mara tha…”

“ye sab Psychological baatein hai…aapke palle nahi padegi…aur kal ground me do thappad mara toh mara…faltu me audience ko batakar meri bezzati kyun kar rahe ho…anyway…”bolkar main apne ghar ki balcony se neeche aaya , jaha Varun sofe par baithkar mera intezaar kar raha tha…..

waha mere mammi-papa dono mauzood the aur mujhe seedhiyo se neeche aata dekh mujhe ghoor kar dekhne lage…mano mann hee mann mujhse kah rahe ho ki….yadi main, Varun ke sath abhi bahar gaya toh mera hath kaat kar mere hath me de denge….

“hey Varun…aaj kiske sath match hai…”seedhiyo se neeche aakar maine Varun se puchha…

“S.S.M. ki team se…”

“chal phhir…”

Main Varun ke sath bahar aaya aur bahar aate hee uspar baras lada…

“kyun bhai…ghar se nikalwayega kya…kitni baar kaha hai ki mere ghar mat aaya kar…yadi yahi haal raha toh tu dekhna ek din mere gharwale mere pichhwade me laat markar mujhe ghar se nikal denge…..chal bol kya baat hai… ”

“family problem ? ”

“ab tere us Engineer bhai ne kya kar diya…yahi hota hai jab har koyi bhi engineering karne lagta hai toh….anyway ,chal bata kya problem hai…”

Jawab me Varun chup hee raha ,isliye maine thoda aur bal lagakar kaha….

“abki baar tere bade bhai ne kuch kya…ya phhir tere baap ne…”

“bhaiya aur papa ke beech phhir kaha suni ho gayi hai…papa ne bhaiya ko itna sunaya ki wo suicide karne ki dhamki dekar ghar se chale gaye hai…mujhe ab bahut dar lag raha hai yar…samajh me nahi aa raha ki kya karu…kaha jaun…maine bhaiya ko bahut dhoondha lekin wo mile hee nahi…isliye tere paas aa gaya ”

“kitne der pahle ghar se nikle the…”

“do ghante pahle…aisa mom ne bataya…main toh Gaurav ke sath bahar ghoom raha tha…. ”

“kaun Gaurav …wahi D section wala…”

“haan…”

“uske sath mat ghuma kar…uski niyat kharab hai…matlab mujhe sahi nahi lagta wo…acha time bata…”

“5 baje hai…”


jab actual me yani ki jab main version 1.0 ke roop me 2009 me tha tab Varun ke bhaiya ko dhoondate dhoondate raat ho gayi thi…lekin ab jab ye sab main ek baar pahle bhi jhel chuka tha…isliye mujhe pata tha ki mujhe kaha jana hai…

“mujhe maloom hai ki tera bhai kaha hoga”

“sach..?”apna stress thoda kam karte hue Varun ne puchha…

“haan…lekin ab tu ye mat puchhna ki ye sab mujhe kaise pata…bas tu mere sath chal…”

“ok…”

“aur sale tu mere liye ek shayari likhne wala tha…ek mahine ho gaye lekin tune mujhe shayari nahi sunayi…lagta hai tu mera sachcha dost nahi hai..main khamkha tere liye itna kuch kar jata hoon ”

“aaj raat me pakka…”

“lawda ,yahi bol-bol ke kitne din tarka diye tune…”ye kahkar maine apna hath bandha aur ek mukka Varun ki peeth me pel diya….

“itni tez….abey sach me…maine toh ek line soch bhi li hai…sunau kya ?”apni peeth sahlate hue Varun bola aur kheechkar ek mukka usne bhi meri peeth me rel diya…

“haa…suna”main bhi apni peeth sahlate hue bola

“toh sun…Arz kiya hai…” 

“irshaad..irshaad”

“arz kiya hai…Aasmano ke falaq par kuch rang aaj bhi baki hai…”

“aage bol…”

“bas itna hee socha hai abhi…”

“teri toh…abhi tak sirf jhat barabar line sochi hai…wo bhi galat…”ek mukka phhir Varun ki peeth me pelte hue main bola aur abki baar maine bahut jor se mukka pela tha…taaki Varun…mukke ka reply mukke se na karke dard se cheekhte hue kare aur aisa hee hua…


Varun ki gand fat gayi aur wo jaha par khada tha wahi dard se karahte hue baith gaya…thodi der tak toh usne sirf mujhe galiya di aur phhir jab uska dard kuch normal hua toh khade hokar mujhse puchha…

“kaun se shabd galat hai be…”

“aasman ko urdu me falaq kahte hai…ab gaur kar…aasmano ke falaq par kuch rang aaj bhi baaki hai…”

“feel the pain, man…feel the pain…”

“kaisa pain…mujhe toh koyi pain hee nahi hai…”

“aayega…pain bhi aayega…aur tab ye line complete ho jayegi…”

“ok then..”bolte hue main achanak ruka….


Main ruka kyunki maine dekha ki samne se exams me mere peeche baithne wala lawda…I mean launda bike me akele kahi se aa raha tha…un dino bike ka name hee mujhe super excited kar deta tha aur mujhe jab-jab mauka milta tha main yun hee dosto ki bike mang kar chalane lag jata tha….dosto ki bike…kyunki gharwali bike par toh Vipin bhaiya ne kabja jama rakha tha aur wo mujhe bike kya…bike ki chabhi tak chhune nahi dete the… 
.

“rook be…”wo ladka jiska roll number aksar exams me mere baad aata tha uske samne jakar maine kaha. maine use kyun roka hai…ye usne shayad pahle hee taad liya tha…isliye main use kuch bolta uske pahle hee wo bol utha…

“Arman , abhi mujhe urgent kaam hai…isliye main tujhe bike nahi de sakta”

“aisa…chal phhir thik hai”uske samne se hatkar main bola “exams me jab tu mujhse koyi question puchhega toh main bhi yahi bolunga ki…bhai mujhe urgent kaam hai…main tujhe abhi iska answer nahi bata sakta”

“thik hai..acha chal, le jaa…jab dekho tab exams ki dhamki deta rahta hai…”bike se utarte hue usne kaha…

“thanks…”bike ka handle pakadte hue main muskuraya aur Varun ko peechhe baithne ka ishara kiya…

“main nahi baithunga...last time jab tere sath baitha tha toh tune gira diya tha…”door hat te hue Varun ne bike me baithne se saaf mana kar diya…

“abey baith ja…wo tab ki baat thi…ab toh main bike se…parablla..hyperbola bana leta hoon…wooooooo”bike ka handle ghumate hue main bola “aaj ellipse banaunga ”

“tu chahe jitna bol le…main nahi baithne wala…last time tune mujhse bike nikalwayi aur phhir bike girakar bhag gaya tha…wo bhi mujhe akela chhodkar…pata hai gharwalo ne kitni galiya di mujhe…”

“kyun bhav kha raha hai..baith na yar…ya ab Shahrukh khan ke mafiq ‘main hoon na’ bolu tabhi tu baithega”

Finally Varun bike par baitha aur use lekar main waha gaya jaha uska bada bhai tha….yani ki daru bhatti…lekin ek chiz jo maine gaur ki wo ye ki time bahut speed se badh raha tha…main apne ghar se sham ko 5 baje nikla tha aur yaha tak mujhe anyhow 5:30 baje tak pahuch jaana chahiye tha…lekin jab maine bike se utar kar time dekha toh is samay 8 baj rahe the…ye lagbhag wahi samay tha jab real me maine Varun ke bhaiya ko suicide karne se roka tha…maine apni ghadi me dobara nazar mari…seconds ki sui bahut tez ghoom rahi thi aur usi ke hisab se baki sui bhi….minute ki sui aise ghoom rahi thi jaise wo second ki sui ho aur ghante ki sui aise jaise wo minute ki sui ho…yaani ki time bahut tezi se aage badh raha tha….aur mere bike se utar kar daru bhatti tak pahuchne me maine jab time dekha toh 8:30 baj chuke the….bhatti ke andar ahata me Varun ka bada bhai full load tha…yaha tak ki hume pahchan tak nahi pa raha tha….

“Varun….ja jakar nibbo pani lekar aa…”Varun ke bhai ke bagal me baithkar maine Varun se kaha

“us-se kya hoga”

“ye tu hamesha itne sawal kyun puchhte rahta hai…ye koyi physics ki class hai kya ? ja jakar nibbo paani ka jugad jama …”Varun ko fatkar lagakar maine uske bade bhai ki taraf apna rukh kiya“aur bade bhaiya…kaun sa brand liya….”samne rakhi botal ko uthate hue maine puchha…

“kaun…”halki si aankh kholkar Varun ke bhai ne kaha aur phhir apni aankh band kar li…

“ what the fuck…arey main hoon….Arman”

“kaun Arman…”abki baar aankh band karke hee Varun ke bhaiya ne jawab diya…

“Varun ko jante ho…”
“Va…va…Varun….Varun , koyi maal hai kya…”
“hadd hai…”
“kya hadd hai…”apni aankhe thodi kholkar Varun ke bade bhai ne puchha…jiske jawab me maine kuch nahi kaha….jiske baad Varun ke bhaiya ne phhir apni aankhe band kar li aur aankh band kiye hue hee bole…
“tum gaanja peete ho kya…”
“nahi…”maine jawab diya….itne me nibbo pani lekar Varun bhi aa gaya….maine ishare se Varun ko cool rahne ke liye kaha aur nibbo pani ka glass Varun ke bhaiya ko thamate hue bola…..
“lo, pahle peg maro…phhir baat karte hai…”
“nahi…bas ho gaya…ab mujhe suicide karne jana hai…tang aa gaya hoon main is duniya se…”
“suicide…great idea…lekin uske pahle golden peg toh marte jao…”
“thik hai…”bolte hue Varun ke bhaiya ne nibbo pani ka glass uthaya aur ek saans me pura glass khali kar diya….
“ye toh nibbo pani hai be lawde….jo tune mujhe daru bolkar pila diya…”gusse se mera collar pakadkar unhone kaha…
“jis tarah ye nibbo pani hai…daru nahi, usi tarah Varun aapka bhai hai…maal nahi…”apne collar se Varun ke bhaiya ka hath hatakar maine kaha.. “Varun bhaiya…I mean…Varun ke bhaiya , kya ho gaya hai aap ko…aap toh ekdum hoshiyar ,tez tarrar ladke the…phhir Engineering ne aapke DNA par aisa kya effect dala jo ab aap aise ho gaye…”
“Engineering…BC….puri life barbaad kar di engineering ne meri…tumhe pata hai ek samay main padhne me bahut hoshiyar tha, lekin phhir maine Engineering karne ki galti ki…jiske baad sab kuch badal gaya. main hindi medium ka student tha…isliye shuru-shuru me mujhe problem hui…sabse jyada dimag khaya Physics ne…kya BC ,sodium light se aand-gand experiments karke puri process yaad karna padta tha. lab tha , lekin waha kiye gaye experiments BC kisliye the aaj tak samajh nahi aaya. jitna manhoos subject tha us-se kayi jyada manhoos is subject ka teacher tha. use dekhkar hee padhne-likhne ka mood nahi hota tha…aur mere pure syllabus me ek bhi aisa interesting chapter nahi tha, jisko padhne ka mann kare. Pata nahi kis haramkhor ne syllabus set kiya tha, uski maa ka alpha, beta….main tumhe topics batata hoon…topics kuch aise the… the Fringe phenomenon…Polarisation….Carnot cycle…otto cycle…lund cycle…choot cycle. ye sab kya hai lawda…mujhe toh name sun ke hee ulti hoti hai … college me Physics padhne se acha hota ki main suicide kar leta aur…aur Mere khayal se wo jyada better rahta… Physics ne meri haalat aise kar di thi ki main jo kuch bhi padhta…wo sab dimag ke andar toh jata tha lekin kabhi bahar nahi aaya….na class me aur na hee examps me…sirf padhte jao…padhte jao…apni gaand marwate jao…”
“aapka dimag black hole ban gaya tha kya, jisme sirf incoming thi aur outgoing bilkul band thi….”
“ jiska nateeza first semester back….second semester back….ispar se job ki tension alag….kyunki main Engineering college me jaane ke kuch din baad hee ye jaan gaya tha ki…jobs ki kya conditions hai. Upar se main tha Government college me aur College walo ko toh jaise humare future ki koyi fikar hee nahi thi….unhe kya fark padne wala tha ki students padhe ya na padhe…unhe toh barabar salary mil rahi thi…kya tum yakin karoge ki 60 saal purine Government college me mere hod ko chhodkar koyi permanent faculty nahi tha...uspar bhi guest teacher aise the ki un maa ke lawdo se ek question bhi koyi puchh le toh unki dayi-mayi chud jati thi…aur sectional ki dhamki dekar wo students ko class attend karne ke liye mazboor kar dete the…ispar bhi yadi koyi placement company college ke name ki vazah se galti se humare college me aa bhi jati thi toh BC college wale unki koyi kadra nahi karte the…Private college walo ki tarah humare college walo ko bhi chahiye ki unke chay paani ka intezam kare..lekin nahi, college walo ka toh apna hee randi rona tha…bolte the ki iska fund kaha se aayega…sale dalle…madarchod… wo log college ke peon ko placement walo ke paas bhej dete the…ab bhai, placement walo ki bhi koyi izzat hai. Wo waha bheekh magne toh aaye nahi hai..jo tum unke sath aisa bartaav karo…isliye jo bhi company humare college me ek baar aati…next year se wo humare college ki taraf dekh kar thookti bhi nahi thi…yani ki next year se companies ne aana band kar diya…idhar dusari taraf mere back pe back lagte gaye….tension me college jana to door ki baat maine 4th semester ke exam tak nahi diye….mujhe itna stress tha ki main fifth semester me hee suicide kar leta yadi meri life me Anjana nahi aayi hoti toh…pahle wo meri friend bani aur phhir mere dil ki dhadkan…uski vazah se maine 5th sem se college aana shuru kiya aur phhir dheere-dheere padhayi me mera interest badha….tab mujhe samajh aaya ki mujhse kitni badi galti ho gayi hai…maine apni zindagi ke aham do saal yun hee in madarchodo ke karan tension me barbaad kar diye the….lekin phhir bhi maine haar nahi mani aur Anjana ke sath-sath padhayi me bhi interest lene laga….jiski vazah se 7th sem tak mere sirf do hee back the…lekin BC us 8th semester ne mere growth rate ko wapas neeche dhakel diya….”
“nice… aisa kya hua tha 8th Semester me…”side me rakha Varun ke bhaiya ka peg chupke se uthakar marte hue maine beech me pucha….
“8th Semester me…8th semester me mujhe pata chala ki Anjana kisi aur launde se set hai…mujhse toh sirf wo pyar ka natak kar rahi thi aur mere pahle bhi usne college me do-teen ke sath yahi kiya tha….maine kya-kya nahi kiya tha uske liye…raat-raat bhar jagkar uske bare me socha karta tha…raat-raat bhar jaagkar use kaise hasau sirf yahi socha karta tha…raat-raat bhar jaagkar uske liye ppt taiyar kiya karta tha… uske liye notes ki photo copy karata tha… lekin jab mujhe pata chala ki Anjana mujhse nahi kisi aur se pyar karti hai toh…maine use kuch nahi kaha , na toh us-se kuch pucha aur na hee us-se koyi baat ki…din bhar main sirf apne room me rahta…Anjana ke bare me sochta…uske sath bitaye waqt ko yaad karke rota…Anjana ke bina bitaya har ek din sadiyo ke barabar lagta tha…tab mujhe samajh aaya ki pyar me aadmi sirf andha hee nahi balki chodu bhi ban jata hai..”
“ek din…ek sadi ke barabar…yani ki theory of relativity..”ek aur peg chupke se marte hue maine kaha 
“maine bahut koshish ki Anjana ki mohabbat ko nafrat me badalne ki…lekin main aisa nahi kar paya…main Anjana se jitni nafrat karne ki koshish karta us-se mujhe utna hee adhik pyar ho raha tha aur jab wo mere sath nahi thi toh ye pyar din ba din aur tezi ke sath badhte ja raha tha…8th semester ke ant me mujhe laga ki main pagal ho jaunga…jis-se bachnne ka sirf ek hee rasta tha…suicide…maine suicide karne ki koshish bhi ki…maine ek din decide kiya ki main train ke samne aakar Anjana se…Engineering se…aur is duniya se hamesha ke liye muqt ho jaunga…isliye maine train ke saamne koodne ka decision liya…lekin aain waqt par na jaane mere dost kaha se aa gaye aur unhone mujhe bacha liya….”bolte-bolte Varun ke bhai ne pause mara aur phhir thodi der baad phhir se bolna chalu kiya“tumhe pata hai is duniya ka sabse lachar vyakti kaun hai…? Is duniya ka sabse lachar vyakti wo hai jo is duniya se ,is duniya ke logo se nirash hokar marna chahta hai lekin wo mar nahi pata…aur use bachane wala koyi aur nahi balki isi duniya ke wo log hote hai…jinse wo beinteha nafrat karta hai….mera matlab…us shaks se jyada lachar aur kaun ho sakta hai…jo marna toh chahe lekin mar na paye…aura b main bahut depression me hoon…mujhe ab na toh kisi chiz ki koyi chah hai aur na hee kisi se milne ki ichchha aur na hee kuch karne ka junoon mere andar bacha hai… par kabhi-kabhi main sochta hoon ki life kitni haseen hoti yadi Anjana mere sath hoti…tab shayad mere 8th semester ka ant aise na hota aur na hee main aisa hota…lekin mera dil tab aur bhi jyada dukhta hai jab mere gharwale meri halat par gaur nahi karte…unhe toh bas laakho kamane wala beta chahiye…mere sare dost meri situation ko samajhte hai…aas-paas ke sabhi log mera hausla badhate hai…lekin is mushqil waqt me mere pariwar wale jinki mujhe sakht zaroorat hai wahi mujhse khafa hai…kya mere gharwalo ko mahsoos nahi hota…wo dard jo main jhel raha hoon…kya unhe meri halat dikhayi nahi deti…ya phhir wo sab kuch jaan kar bhi aisa bartaav kar rahe hai…yadi aisa hai toh phhir mere yaha rahne ka kya fayda…mujhe toh mar jaana chahiye. isiliye aaj main suicide karunga…aksar mere man me ye khayal aata hai ki bhagwan kyun mujhe wo sab kuch nahi de deta jo main chahta hoon…jise paane ke liye maine mehnat ki…phhir main un logo ko dekhta hoon jinke paas wo hai aur tab main samajh jata hoon wo log…wo chize jinhe main pana chahta tha…wo mere layak hee nahi hai…”
“aisa nahi hai bade bhaiya…ye sab hota hai…sabke sath toh nahi par…hota hai.”
“lekin main khud ko kaise samjhaun ki mere gharwale hee mere khilaf hai…wo samajh hee nahi rahe meri situation ko…jabki unke aalawa har koyi turant meri situation samajh jata hai….”
“aapke gharwalo ke aalawa baki sab aapki situation samajh jate hai kyunki unhone aap me apna paisa aur samay invest nahi kiya…aap ek kaam kariye…aap apne dost ya un logo ke paas jayiye jo aapse sahanubhuti dikhate hai aur unse wo sab karne ko kahiye jo aapke maa-baap ne aapke liye kiya hai…phhir aap boliye unki us sari mehnat ko aapne college me sirf ek ladki ke chakkar me barbaad kar diya aur phhir unka reaction dekhiye…kya hoga ? abki baar unka reaction sahanubhuti wala nahi balki pichhwade me laat marne wala hoga…ye jo aapke dost hai ya phhir aapse free ki sahanubhuti dikhane wale log hai…unhone aapke liye wo sab kuch nahi kiya…jo aapke ma baap ne kiya hai…isliye in tuchche logo se apne ma-baap ki tulna mat kijiye…..aap ghar jao…competitive exams ki taiyari karo aur exam clear karke apni life track par le aao…this is the best you can do…baki aap jaha suicide karne jaane wale ho…waha aaj police ki patrolling chal rahi hai…isliye aaj suicide karne mat jana, warna khamkha police case banega…. aur…”

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